by VertigoJ
Enjoyed the story though I found it to be a tad short and hurried. I'd guess the lack of an ending was to allow for a folow-on chapter. If a follow-on is in the works, you might try pacing it a bit. Develop your characters a bit more to get a hint of realism going for you.
The story has a lot of possibilities. Enjoyed it very much. You could always work into a family affair.I'll be watching for more additions to the story. willaman
write more, They need to be together and have a possibility that she will get pregnant with her brothers child.
......not at all..........rushing and grabbing at any opportunity is what this story is all about, I thourghly enjoyed it........get them their own place, away from prying eyes and the thrill of being caught and it will become just another incest story..........this was HOT!!
I cannot wait to see the next episode - and very well written I only spotted one typo "flawed" means error in this case you wanted "floored" - great writing keep it up.
Your story has me "On the Edge of..."!?! Can't wait to hear what he came up with!!!
I know what you mean about pacing, and it was intentional. This is the first time I've actually put something up on Literotica, but I've been writing stories with that intention for over a year now. And they have ALL been slow, drawn out, ROMANTIC stories. Never just quick fixes, but actually siblings falling in LOVE. Problem is, the ages are always too young, but I just don't WANT an 18 year old girl in it; she's supposed to be innocent in my stories.
So, as I realised nothing was being approved and I still didn't have anything up, I decided to just whip something together, which was more of a a "quick fix" for myself, and submit it. It really is a lust story this one, hopefully I'll submit some of my others, which, believe me, are long and very heavy on character development.
Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it.
Truly great piece of writing. can't wait till the seqel or hopefully sequels
Well done. Looking forward to the following installments. Jason is certainly a lucky boy to have such a sexy, imaginative and willing sister. With this foundation and the possible scenes you've set up this could be a really top story. I need more soon.
it was hot I like it alot write more of this
VertigoJ really knows how to write an erotic story. These stories are not an exercise in how many words can be put on a page. Every word is relevant to the story. All the explicit descriptions usually used in these types of stories don't make them erotic, just redundant and show a lack of real abillity and imagination! The author doesn't go of on non relavent tangents that convolute the story. Great work!
Wow! This one really brought back some fond memories! My first time was with a girl like this one (not a sister, however). A fabulous experience. Thanks for the reminder.
Very good writing.
But I will confess I would have found it more of a turnon if she had not been on the pill.
Taboo sex with the added risk of pregnancy in stories is a turnon to me, and that is the only reason I did not give your story the highest rating.
There is nothing like a beautiful, young woman with big juggs to turn a guy on. The fact that she may be his sister really doesn't matter in terms of how his cock reacts. This is a very good story.
Nookiehunter
those from the male children that want them to get pregnant
I enjoyed this one a lot and would love to see what happened with these two.
God i am sad that my childhood passed so innocently, and i had 2 sisters!
DUDE!!!!! you really need to get back on here and finish ALL THESES DAMN STORIES.you cant keep us all hanging like this every one of your stories are very good but are left unfinished..for the love of god get your ass back to writing...
Since VertigoJ hasn't been active in over six years, there's little chance he will finish all these great unfinished stories. I know how life dynamics change, so it is quite understandable, although unfortunate. I am myself sitting on a bunch of stories (for years) that I just can't finish due to lack of input, association, editors etc. It's only one of many things in our life and not the most important.
The gifted author was 18 to 22 years old when he wrote it. He gives as his first interest "brother-sister," so it's a sure bet he was hard when he composed this excellent contribution and shot a good healthy load at the end. We can only hope and trust that Mr. V got to stick his fat hard on up his own sister's adorable little coochie and blow his brotherly balls up his sis's cute little cunt. V sure knows where a brother's creamy semen belongs. I'm glad that in the story the sister was a virgin before her brother fucked her. It should be the job of a big brother, universally understood and acknowledged, to bust his baby sister's cherry. The brother's big hard cock should be the first cock up his sis's tight little twat, and the first huge dose of semen shot up a sister's twat should come from her big brother's hot young balls.
Loved this story. Very hot. Left me throbbing.
I fantasize about my sister like this.
I will enjoy reading more of your work, you might enjoy mine too.
Siskon tyttöystävä tuli seuraavana päivänä ja siskon kanssa nussimme kolmistaan.