by nakedpeach
It could have been a great series. I'd love to read more like this.
Great story, I enjeoyed it a lot. But to make it more authentic, make sure to have the names right. Better name him Von Kassel instead of Von Kassle, sounds/looks more like German - though you would pronounce it the same in English, your spelling looks weird to my German eyes ;-) And John isn't the best name for a Greek boy.
For a first submission I thought this story was terrific. Intriguing plot and good flow from beginning to end. I definitely think there should be more chapters to this, or at least more stories from you. Great job writing and please continue to write and submit more. Thanks.
Tony
I do hope that there are some more chapters to this piece....if there is ......wonderful begining.
Good story and I like the way way the The german officer was forceful but didn`t really hurt her, he could have just raped and beat her. I like strong alpha males who take what they want but also have a bit of a heart...i.e. he felt guilty the next day and he does have feelings for her. Another chapter would be GREAT!!!
I enjoyed this story. As a professional writer, I am usually very sensitive to spelling and grammar problems, but nothing in this story was very much of a problem. Just ignore those with too much negative to say. I will look forward to your next story. I also like your user name. It creates some very visual images.
It was a decent read but need an editor.
Keep up the good work.