All Comments on 'Snow White: An Erotic Adventure Ch. 03'

by kailab

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4 Comments

Anonymousover 13 years ago

Needs Punctuation

Nice little start of a story. However, you have too many sentences that lack sufficient punctuation, specifically commas. You also are using semicolons in the wrong places. Any time when the characters are speaking, their lines should be seperate from the regular text so as to avoid confusion and muddying what they are saying. There are many authors out there who can help you with the editing and beta reading. I would be interested in reading more, but if the same errors continue it will become very tedious to read. There are several authors here whose stories I read over and over again because their writing is so good. There are many people on this site who don't care and will read the story anyway. However, if you do care about the quality of your writing then getting assistance to improve it is the best thing to do.

avidreader_01 over 13 years ago

teaser

lol, wow, when you said teaser you weren't lying... hopefully you can get the next chapter out soon. good luck on conquering and overthrowing that evil demon spawn-- algebra :)