All Comments on 'Softly Falling'

I like your writing but you make too many errors, ones that a good editor would catch. I know that these may seem trivial, but they pull me, your reader, out of your story. For example, her eyes were the greenest blue. What is that? Hazel? Blue/green? Also, you wrote that "He feigned hurt and she pulled him close. This in itself was no surprise as they had hugged often in the past days." However, this was on their first date (2nd meeting). I actually looked up to see if I accidently skipped a few paragraphs. At this point I stopped reading. According to your title, the progression of this relationship is very important, but it's been blown. If you don't want to use an editor, I recommend that you leave it alone for a couple of weeks, then edit it yourself. Thanks for writing, I respect most of our writers here for making an effort.

You rolled out a normal tail and cut along the corners just like everyone else has done. Very little character definition.

Where's the last 2 pages of this story?