All Comments on 'Sorrel's Long Journey to Love Ch. 13'

This has been a far better than average story. (There were a few writing errors, but overall, an oustanding tale.) Again, "excellent work".

I love reading. I can feel when I read. I cry and smile and tense stories like this one makes me smoke a lot. But i love it. Good job.

Top notch stuff man,,I swear to god this could be a movie I was scared you were going to kill of sorrel, glad to see you didn't

A great story. Thanks for the happy ending.

A- Cos carvy kicked him in the balls !

It also needs a major rewrite and several drafts. It's an interesting idea, but right at the start the hook is poor, and it takes more than that to get into the story. The first chapter left me cold, and uninspired.

Kinda horrific compared to most of your stories. Kinda enjoyable in a Stephen King sort of way with the whole lobotomy thing. I'm surprised she still took with Fletcher even after he rescued her, considering he was instrumental in the beginning of the plot, as even if he was ignorant but not excessive, he was very cruel humiliating her. Then after all that, I'm sure she would be traumatised and have PTSD and not be ready for a relationship. I can see her thought processes so I can understand where you're coming from. Just gotta read Too Clever and The Lawyer now! Thanks for writing

So many twists and turns. This is not erotic literature. It is just good literature. Well-done.

What I enjoyed most about the story were the constant plot twists. Those were absolutely thrilling, and I must admit that I would have been very sad if the lobotomy was completed, but that wouldn't have stopped me from reading--not in the least. The ring came off! So happy about that!

I am against Sorrel and Fletcher's relationship and marriage, but I understand this is the way you intended it. I had a lot of outbursts because it. (My husband thought it was extremely amusing). I just have difficultly accepting that calm demeanor of Sorrel's when she initially came off as a very no-nonsense kind of woman. I knew she was sweet, but I also hoped that there was going to be a lot of fury beneath that soft exterior. And then she just kept getting sweeter and sweeter, saintlike. It was like you built her up only to have her exponentially humbled. I don't know, just know that I couldn't close the window. I would have liked to see Fletcher's reaction to having Sorrel back and everything not being so peachy keen in the end. Sure, give me a marriage, but give me some problems that would come from an ordeal like that, too.

I read the first chapter and I got disgusted. I quit reading. I was going to throw the story away but then decided to read part of the last chapter. I decided to put the story back in stories to read, waited a few days and then decided to start over. You see starting to read the story the first time, the first chapter, I thought this would be a perverted, sadistic, cruel story and became disgusted with you, read parts of the last chapter. I am sorry for my wrong impression of you. It was not an A-1 story but was damn close. Thank you for a very good story.

You were right, it was a different story. I almost stopped reading it during the first chapter, but was curious where you were headed. I really got into the story when the characters started getting interactive. The story started moving along and I was hooked. 5* Thanks for your time and efforts.

I'm sorry you didn't like "Sorrel". If you send me your address I'll refund you the money you paid to read it. I'll use some of the proceeds I got when I sold the copyright to a production company. They wanted to legally own some of the blah blah blah filler for parts of stories I've seen on television. It seems with so many channels with so many companies, and so many episodic stories even my tripe has some market value.

Thanks for your comment anyway.

Jedd Clampett (carvohi)

Good story.

The author raised the point about Fletcher being locked out of his own company's computer, but failed to write about the discussion with his brother about it, or getting access again.

Also, if Fletcher loved Sorrel, then surely his first reaction would have been to clear her name with all those with whom he had previously publicly vilified her. He would not have needed to give specifics, just enough so all would know she was innocent. Surely he would have no reason to wait until he had indisputable evidence, meanwhile leaving Sorrel as the recipient of unmerited hatred.

Overall i loved the story. The fact that Warren was the obvious villain to readers but not Fletcher detracted. All the cloak and dagger stuff at the end was tedious, over long

This is one of the most incredible stories I’ve ever read. If you haven’t already, you need to format this as a movie script and pitch it to all of the agencies you can find until somebody picks it up. Can’t wait to read another one of your story.