All Comments on 'Stumbling'

It was a good introduction, with no action. That is no way to hook your readers. If more chapters are added I may or may not read them. This one is a dead fish and a real turn off.

I like the way you are developing the story. I think this could turn into a great novella. Liked that there was no sex to start with, that just ends the story too quickly. Develope the characters and build the story. Great work just cannot wait for the next episode. Please post soon.

looking forward to your story.

One pet peeve/side note: you can't major in functional analysis. Or even analysis. You major in maths, maybe pure maths, possibly (if you're really smart and into it) with an undegraduate research thesis which may then be in analysis, and possibly in functional analysis. I actually know someone who did that and is named Leo :).

I really liked this first chapter, however there are some sentences that feels like they have words missing in them. Probably because you have been changing them a bit. It might be a good idea to have someone help you edit the story. Looking forward to the next chapter.