All Comments on 'Suck on This Ch. 01'

Can't wait to read more

Hot story, good characters but consider getting an editor.

Hee Hee

Hi Hi

Ho Ho

Hass!

Whip that DINGUS up my ass!

I agree with the other comment on that this is a good story but you would benefit greatly from an editor or at least a simple peer review before uploading it as a finished story. an example would be that you forgot to mention that she grabbed the bottle to give to him and it was a tad bit confusing till he next remarked on what he was sucking on.

Not much to say that hasn't already been said. I'd really consider getting an editor. Also it's a minor detail in the story but it bugged me enough that it distracted me for the whole story. 150lbs at 5'10" isn't "very skinny," in facts it's pretty normal, low for that height is 141 and target is 160, so while he may be a little thin, he's far from very skinny.

When? :)

The story stared very and had a decent flow, but the sex felt totally rushed. Good story for a first write.

Did it for me. ;-)

I really enjoy this, but , like others , I wish the last few paragraphs were longer. The story built up really well but the final act seemed a little rushed. Still got me aroused, love ts stories! Thanks!

Good luck with ch.2!

It needs some editing and proof reading,

But what it needs most is another chapter!

Wish I was Nathan.

Wish there was more story.