Sunrise My Darling

Having lived though being a female adolescent with very healthy body and healthy sex drive. I would like to make a statement about expressing those needs. Society easily accepts a young males sexual urges and seems to encourage them, but still has not come to terms with a young females drive, -- which can be just as intense if not more intense.

Male masturbation is openly discussed, but young female masturbation is to be hidden and not encouraged. For example, consider the popular adage; 90 % of all young males masturbate and 10 percent lie, while 10 % percent of all young girls masturbate and 90 % lie, this is a basic difference in the way that society thinks about young male / female sexuality. Do young girls think about, dream about and talk about sex? They sure do, but not in the way males do; females tend to be more honest about their emotions of love and its attachment with sex than males from the start. This is a generality, so please do not be offended if you are one of the males that has come to terms with the tenderness associated with love/ sex -- there are many of you. No criticism intended here towards males, we are all a product of our environment to a great degree and can only start to modify our thoughts and position after much intellectual energy is applied to the task -- I think this to be true for both sexes not just men.

I do understand that women's sexual liberation is changing -- has been changing for the last 50 years, this maybe is one of the reasons why I can now publish my experience.

Because I did develop a liaison with my uncle, I'm not instructing all young virgins to seek out their next relative and sleep with him. Rather I would suggest, find one who will take the time and show the compassion -- to properly teach love to you with the deepest care. For you it may or may not be an uncle (uncles are good though). For me it was my uncle, but everyone's situation is different. I understand that you are ready for sex and I understand that the days that you delivered yourself to one man (husband?) as a virgin are gone, long ago, before I was born. All I advocate is to allow young women to sexually /emotionally mature as their body requires, not as society dictates, and to do so with someone with the maturity to really care and help. If young men can and are expected to exercise their early sexuality, so should the young women be allowed, but safely.

I'm going to suggest at this point that a safe place to do so is within the family. We learn almost everything else from the family -- why not full sex? Oddly enough after what I have written, I do think that a father/daughter, mother/son relationship is a little to close for direct sex (for those who participate, no criticism intended, it might work for you, this is just my preference). I have always thought that the uncle/ niece, aunt/nephew was a better match. Sister / brother might be good as long as they are of age, since it does have the required component of great love (Please note; I do not promote sex with any under age person in any form -- I am very much against it). Can having such an involved relationship with an uncle/aunt cause problems? Obviously yes, it is an opportunity only for some.

I will not even touch on the point of impregnation with relatives. This is just a plain ignorant idea, in this age of understanding sexual mechanics.

Is incestuous sex being lazy? I don't think so, this has more to do with trust and love than is first apparent. Also it is hard work for both to take the time to develop the pre-sexual relationship needed. Think of your uncles and aunts; did you take time to get to know them, truly, as friends? Until you have walked the proverbial mile, you are only guessing at what it takes, before and after. I do not think my narrative has been successful in developing that point, again it would need much more work and many more pages on my part, but I have tried. I may continue.

A heavy message maybe - hence one of my reasons to publish.

Lastly, my other major reason to release this information was the death of my Uncle in a car accident over two years ago, four years after our (my inaugural) boat trip. To say the least I was devastated and could barely attend the funeral. I did not speak a word to anyone about what had occurred between Uncle Chuck and me, until one year ago, (and then only to one other, see below), hence the depth of feeling between us could not be fully understood by those who knew us. Oddly enough I found some consonance with Joan, who did not accept Chuck's death well and spiraled into a bad depression. I did not tell her what had happened with Uncle and me, I thought that was Uncles decision and responsibility -- he may have, but Joan never changed towards me. In the end I think I helped her much more than she could me, and by doing so I felt better.

Why would his death motivate me to release this information in such a manner? To put it simply, I have always thought it was a beautiful life experience that only two people knew about -- now only one. I did not want all memories and knowledge of it to disappear. It was a part of both of us and something that may benefit others. Possibly no one is interested -- possibly, but then you are reading this -- now.

On Incest

About a year ago I told my mother about what had transpired between, Uncle and myself. It was a golden moment when we where discussing men and sex and she hinted to know how I lost my virginity. Looking down at my tea cup, I told her I gave it to Uncle Chuck. Her eyes widened a bit, but her composure never changed. She looked off for several minutes and then looked back at me, a bit mist eyed and just said, Chuck was a good man, I know he loved you and would never hurt you. Now you keep a part of each other. She was right and we never mentioned it again -- well I was twenty three and what really could she do, be mad about our love and lose me as well -- not likely, not from my mother. She then smiled at me and told me it was her first boyfriend she gave hers to and he was not worth it. This broke the tension and we both laughed, then went for lunch together.

So is incest all that wrong? The dictionary definition for incest is sex between people who can not marry by law or taboo. No words about it being the hugely obscene animal some think, no words that it is not proper. Why then does it carry the hideous reputation? I am guilty of this (incest), but guilt suggests a crime. What crime? Who was hurt? My thoughts are, we should lighten up on the idea a bit, after all it was only love followed by sex. I felt great, Uncle Chuck felt great, seems classic win, win here. Why throw all that way? If anything we should be promoting love and pushing hard to remove violence from our society. Can you image having a made for TV movie about a loving incestuous relationship being broadcast? The myopic righteous would call for heads! At the same time our youngest are watching the latest Die Tough, or Lethal something or another aliens ripping heads off. Something is not altogether right here people!

I decided to post on the bulletin board hoping to network and discuss this with others. I was thinking that besides allowing the explicit sexually description, that I would engage a more open minded audience regarding incest. So far the audience and responses have been interesting. You may hate me and find me opinionated, but even the critics have something useful to say -- even if it is only four letters.

I will accept all ideas and statements and try and consider them from your view. My initial reaction was one of a neophyte to your group and I was worried about offending with my ideas. I did want to post this in the correct Internet area. As you and I know, this work will not be reproduced in Readers Digest.

So lets talk, I have given you much of myself in these words. Post your ideas, thoughts, experiences, criticisms. I would like your feedback on the story in any aspect, include comments on my post discussion. If needed I will request my post discussion to be entered as BB topic.

I have felt my writing skills where not up to the task of retelling you this piece of my life properly, but I have tried to be as accurate as possible. Any suggestions for improvements will be warmly received.

In the end I hope I have stirred your emotions in some way.

Love, Respect and Happiness to All,

Jane T. Rolly