All Comments on 'Surrounded Ch. 01'

WOW! This story has sex, mindless sex and more mindless sex. I wonder if the sister [Amanda] will ever figure it out or already knows. I wonder if Matt will get played like it seems he is and lose it all. I wonder if Katie really loes Matt or if she is just being a mean person. Only you the writer knows the answer to these concerns. You have to go on with this so we can find out.

I hope you do continue this!

I've read all three of the stories you have up here so far. I've gotta say, they're all REALLY hot, and I think you're a great writer. But it seems like they're all the same story:

"Husband with 9-inch cock has a boring wife who he loves against all logic, then he meets an unbelievably hot, domineering woman with E-cup tits who says she's better than the wife in every way possible. She goads him into admitting he's a breast man, then tells him she knows he likes her better (despite his protests) because she notices he's so hard. He ends up fucking her, then becoming a total slave to her, and everyone expects the wife will never figure it out because (as the dream-bitch points out earlier in the story) she's so clueless."

I certainly understand what it's like to have a fetish, and to like certain story themes - I'm a big cocks & big tits man, too - but I think you should try working on a little variety.

I love this story....absolutely close to my heart....

Write more of these stories, they are the best!!!!!!!

The content is too mundane to want to follow. The simpleton portrayed as a good guy gone twisted is too inconsistent to real life. Good character doesn't get dismissed so quickly and so easily; the story doesn't ring true.

Just my opinion

Love your stories, please keep them coming! Don't change the theme of them either!!

I like this story a lot. These themes are so hot that I want more of it. Originally I thought that Matt was going to fuck everyone from Michelle, Amanda’s best friend to Kelly, Amanda’s and Katie’s mother to Katie. But this is good too. I’d love to see a part or two where they fuck each other while Amanda was in the same house. How about when Amanda’s in the same room?

I hope we see another chapter of ‘Surrounded’. I want to see Katie use her body and sex appeal to get evidence and written confession statements to win her case, Katie getting impregnated by Matt after Amanda mentions about wanting a baby, Katie pregnant with Matt’s baby and Matt and Katie months after their baby is born, etc.

I enjoyed reading the story very much. Keep writing!

There are a few items that I wanted to mention. One was that the story needed a bit more time invested in proofing. Thinking about mistakes slows me down and distracts from a good read and why would I ever want to do that. :)

The other is in reference to Wannabeboytoy. Your story is very similar to "Priscilla the Slut" and I kept thinking back to that one. You can have a similar theme, but this was too close. The pool, office, wife a lawyer, wife being oblivious, etc. are straight from the other story.

Wannabeboytoy didnt keep this story line going so I would love you to develop it further.

This one could go on for a long time! Love the detail of the best parts.

great story but I want more!!

Hi.. i check the site everyday to see if part 2 has come ... please dont keep us hanging!

I think Kate needs a better reason than just envy and lust to hate Amanda and should do something (refusing "nasty" sex with Matt) to deserve being betrayed.

But as I said about your other stories, you do put the words together well, so keep it up!

44EE are not large breasts, they are bags of fat on an obese troll.

oh I love this sexy slut, this is a great story, and big tits are the best. I am totally stacked and I enjoy making men happy by showing them off. It's a win-win situation.

I need to get some sleep, but your stories are keeping me awake.

Hot, sexy and needs more. Have you though about adding more playful banter between husband and mistress ?

Sorry, but I just couldn't get past the CONSTANT tense shifting. You have a serious problem with maintaining proper tense and to me it just destroys the potential. Couldn't get past the first half of the first page.

Got to agree with the others who've complained about the random tense shifts. They really took me out of the story.

To be honest though even without such grammar issues, the fairly cookie cutter characters for myself for me: the uptight pure wife, husband who's fooling himself and the predatorial promiscuous sister seemingly full of spite. There's not one of these characters I found myself feeling much sympathy for (probably being harsh on the wife but he conservative stand point doesn't appeal to me).

There's a lot to be said for rounding characters out and using a little bit of subtlety.

Just a few things - the tense shifts are weird, and for one paragraph, it switches to third-person for some reason, so definitely better editing would improve the story. Also the narrator is a total knob for the first page.

On the other hand, I love the slut Katie. So deliciously evil...

Thanks for the feedback. This was my first story, and I understand and agree that it is extremely rough. But, if you like the content but can't get over the grammar issues, I recommend to maybe skim over this one and read the next couple chapters or some of my other stories. My writing got a lot cleaner beyond this one. I promise.

How I envy him.

Why in the world would you envy a man. .. Sorry, a boy, who has no will power? It pathetic. Aside from the excellent writing style, this man actually make the story detestable.

The narrator is thriving in a world replete with injustice. He is in touch with his true nature and at ease with the paradoxes resulting thereof. In a nutshell , I ( and probably you ) am cursed with a conscience. The archaeic rotunda of ethics ingrained in me at childhood has imprisoned my id. One day, however, one day ...

I'm dying for it

One more rated 1.

I swear, I started cumming, my pussy started gushing when I read about the sister in law drinking matt’s cum from a glass.

Horrible

I think he's pathetic! Good writing and all. But I'm Not into this Katie. I totally hate and despise women like her. They make me sick. Me personally, when she did the first seducing, I would have physically through her out of my house. And the other thing I hate is women with big tits thinking that EVERY man wants them and their big tits. NOT true! I totally hate huge tits. I would rather a woman have small or medium tits and a Nice ass.

What an exciting tale!!!

I always enjoy the conflict between desire and betrayal and the corruption of morals.

page 2 is fucked up on so many levels, I don't understand how any guy could be into a girl saying that about the girl he chose at any point but he's busy getting them pregnant so maybe he just doesn't care anymore who he picked because of Michelle and the other boob chick and hopefully he doesn't care if they're pregnant with his kids

Yet another exceptional, albeit unfinished, series…

I think Amanda sounds far cuter and she is also far kinder. I would have just stayed with Amanda and been perfectly happy.

Interesting how Katie hates Amanda, although Katie is physically more well enrowed, as apparently is the mother. Maybe a complex about Amanda being successful x or maybe something in their childhood. Amanda also seems to like surrounding herself with more well endowed women (Michelle). Either Amanda is just clueless or something else is going on. Maybe it will be revealed in future chapters!