by Nemasis Enforcer
National differences in the use of English is not responsible for the negative comments on your articles. Try looking at you numerous spelling errors your inappropriate use of words such as then and than or you're and your using her for here, I have borrowed these from a previous reader's comments. I read this article as you trying to give yourself credit for typing these articles and claiming to have completed a minimum of education. Would you honestly want a prior English teacher to know just how incompetent you perform the work you now produce or was she just as lazy and incompetent? Another example is a segment of one sentence: Leanne and me chatted now remove Leanne and then read the segment or me chatted. Sounds very educated doesn't it? Others have pointed out your incompetence. If you had taken the time to read your work you would recognize the previous sentence segment should read Leanne and I chatted. Continue to type lazy and incompetent works and expect to be on the receiving end of negative critiques. Remember incompetently combining words has the same affect on an article as does incompetently assembling the parts of a machine. Disaster.
You caught quite well the teenage angst of unrequited, hard-on all the time lust.
From 14 to 20; at least you then finally got to fuck both you and the lucky Ms. brains out. Keep writing; you definitely have the flair for sizzling sex fantasy.
Wish I could meet you now; my cunt did get moist.
Best of luck,
RaunchyCathy
I'd give this a 5 if it weren't for the spelling and punctuation errors. They detract from the flow of the story.
Editors are available.
Mmmm...I loved reading your fantasy and am even more excited to know a real woman inspired it. In fact, I lust after a former student, myself. He will turn 20 soon and he just kight actually get a similiar fantasy...in real life. Wish me luck...xoxo. - Ms. D.
Good story but the spelling and punctuation errors make it hard to read.
guys dont hate on it, if you dont like it dont read it or at least be constructive. i thought this was a pretty good read dude, and spelling cant hurt, but for the record no1s gonna give a shit if you make some mistakes. nice write dude, good luck in the future
Get an editor. Use your spell checker. Retake fifth grade english grammar. Grow up. Consider writing at some later point in your life if at all.Not hot, not erotic, not fun...just awful.
Pathetic. Ever heard of the spell checker - or were you typing with one hand? I had a hot teacher as well, but thanks for ruining my fantasies.