All Comments on 'Teachers Pet?'

Lol, you got help with this? This is so poorly written. the grammar is terrible, repeated phrases, the use of the word "as" is way too much. I couldn't even finish it.

It's got a great premise and I'm really looking forward to reading the next chapter. Kind of bummed it was so short!

And you have the audacity to credit someone else with editing!!!!!

You and he/she/it should be ashamed of yourselves for submitting ....and how the hell the invidulators passed it....God only knows....i only read the first three paragraphs....but almost puked on my coffee....its beyond childish and the grammatical errors are so blatant....a kindergarten child from Somalia could have done better. a total re-write....a new editor.....and reading through it a couple of times to see if it makes sense firstly....then checking to see whether its legible....and lastly make damm sure there arent any grammatical and spelling mistakes....would be in order.....no sir....this site is used to far far better work than yours!!!!!

amazing people get nasty when all that needs be said is run the spellchecker.

most of us have been there... once uploaded the unedited story AFTER i had run the spellchecker etc.

The story isn't a bad concept on the whole, though I didn't feel much in the way of emotional investment from the lead character. Mostly she seemed to be doing what she did out of boredom, which, if that's her motivation is fine.

True, the writing suffered from spelling and grammatical errors, but considering the most strident complaints were set forth by an anonymous contributor whose own grammar is nothing short of appalling, just work on proof reading for said errors and you should be fine.

A few things threw me off, starting with spelling, grammar, sentence structure and plot progression.

Having a Jack and a Jackson was odd.

Not believable regarding how easily she went from faithful wife to giving him a blowjob and imagining he is now her lover. A little delusional, perhaps?

This story has potential, but needs a lot of work.

The kids I understand, but too much effort to put on make-up for her husband? Yeah, sure. If I was her old man, I wouldn't shave for her either, because it's "too much effort."

What a useless fucking cow.

Keep it coming it is a good read so far.

Grammar, spelling.....

I couldn't get even a quarter of the way through and I am usually quite tolerant.

I assume there may be potential, but get an editor to fix it

American English is obviously this writters second language. Sentence structure, spelling, made this a hard to read story. I hope improvments are forth coming in any following storys.

Jenni, please don't get discouraged. Keep trying.

Can't wait for chapter 2

I really can't imagine how LIT could post

this story, It is really something else.

"Mrs. Peters it nice to meet you finally, "

Crap, the Principal sounds like a

dumb-ass, then he says he can't give her

her old job as she has been away too

long and says "But I can't offer offer you a

an assistant teachers job instead, Think

he meant,"But I can offer you a teachers

assistant position instead.

Bah fungoool

Hi Miss Jenni,

You have a hot subject and have set the scene well however the grammar and spelling mistakes need more attention to let the story flow and come alive. When we have to edit the material as we read it looses its lustre. I don’t know who "KingLeonides" is but if this is a representation of their acceptable literature then they too need an editor. I would love to assist if you wish, check out my submissions as a reference User - Hellwoodblues

Well, it's not perfect. The plot seems interesting enough, but the grammar and such... well...

You tended to begin sentences with "Taylor..." even when one comes directly after another. That's bad form.

Example: "Taylor hadn't wore make up in years because it was too much effort just for her own kids and Jackson her husband. Taylor's wardrobe was dated as she had spent more money on the twins than herself."

Which could have been written thus: "Taylor hadn't worn make up in years; it was too much effort just for her husband and the kids. She had spent more money on the kids than herself, so her wardrobe was dated."

And attention to detail: This sentence is outright confusing.

"....I can't offer you your old job as you have been away for too long, but I can't give you a teaching assistant's position instead."

I suppose you meant to write "I can't offer you your old job as you have been away for too long, but I can give you a teaching assistant's position instead."

Notice the difference?

Although the story could have been very interesting and enjoyable to read, it was too much effort to mentally interpret what you actually meant to write, and to get past the repetitive elements. With a greater attention to detail, and a worthwhile editor, all of that could have been disposed of before the story was submitted.

Dear where is the other part

Liked the premise of your story, and the fact that your character was bold enough to handle a wonderful blowjob outside. Love it!!!

Don't worry about the comments from all the critics here, they're giving you creative criticism.

Sometimes it's hard to take, they really like good stories, and you have one.

It's like karaoke, just have fun doing it, you will get better at it.

You seem to have a very interesting idea, run with it.

I will look forward to reading any story, that you write, because your hot.

So will be your stories.

Anxious.

Great start to your story. I hope you continue it so we can find out how Taylor and Jack work things out.

Just a small word of criticism, reread your work and try to get the flow of your writing a bit more organized.

for doing this to her husband...better still a bullet between her eyes

Poor writing for sure

Ignore the critics. Loved your story and, unfortunately, can relate to it well. I love my hubby. Unfortunately he is a sham bam 60 second man. I am so horny, all the time. Unsatisfied sexually and so Damn frustrated. I've tried so many times to lovenly give him a good mind blowing blow job. He immediately scolds me, says he he doesn't want a slug as his wife. (What kind of man doesn't want a blow job?) Girls, give your prospective future hubby numerous trial runs sexually! Know what your going to spend the rest of your life with before you tie the knot! Anything except the missionary is dirty sex to him. He has a rather small endowment. His creamy Smith era into me. I'm truly amazed that we have a beautiful 18 year old daughter. He is the original 60 second wham bam man. He immediately rolls off of me and is snoring loudly in seconds. Even though I've told him I need more, it never changes. I'm continuing not satisfied sexually, continuing sexually frustrated and always needing to be pounded hard and deep. Once my daughter graduates from college I be I've I'll probably end up divorcing him.. God I need to be pounded so deep and hard , feel the warm creamy load shooting between my eager willing red lips, absorbing its taste. I do love my hubby, but we sure not sexually compatible. I find myself looking more and more at men's crutches when I'm ought and about. Orpheum 69

Not a very coherent story and very poorly written. It's full of poor grammar, misspelling and missing punctuation.