All Comments on 'Telos Ch. 04'

Regardless of anything in the story itself I'm pretty sure I've managed to include the most pretentious Description on all of Literotica. Wooo!

Chapter 5 is mostly done (October was awful for me in a lot of ways) and I'm really hoping to have it up in less than three weeks.

I have an urge to paint every wall in my house that is even close to white.

Still a few minor editing issues, the kind it is easy to stop seeing as you read it so many times during the creation.

And Laura makes three. Each so very different in how he has changed and shaped their minds. The glimpses of the greater game being played here- can we trust them or are you shaping us as well?

Sorry I waited so long to comment. I had to read this one twice. If I am right, He now controls 3 women: Grace (version 1) who is a 100% controlled slave, Amy who is more of a sex slave, and Laura who he is sending out as his "evangelist" or the person who will implement his plan (along with Amy to keep her company). Is it his plan to implement some version of mind control to the entire population? If so, what level? He can't have a bunch of Graces or Amys running around, society would collapse. It would have to be something less extensive. It made sense to take control of Laura since she works in the the water purification department: the perfect place to introduce his mind control drug (Bliss), right?

i love this story. very interesting and different. can't wait for more :-)

I'm drawn to the story and yet repulsed by it to. I keep reading out of curiosity, mostly. Thanks for writing--I think. :)

Intriguing and Disturbing but the way he has Laura taking care of Amy shows that he has been in the Dr.s head. Probably while sleeping. Will be interesting to see if she call the Authorities or keeps everything to herself for Amy's sake.

Kill them or take their minds? Spider Robinson asked the same question in "Mindkiller". And rightly decided that murder was the lesser evil.

Just sayin' :)

It's a very good and disturbing story.

So many words just missed out .My brain outs them back but it's annoying.

I seem to have lost the thread somewhere along the line .Why would they want to kill Laura ?and who is "they" ? and why would she agree to go along or has she now been brainwashed too .What is this skin that holds their minds.Confused but hoping for a light bulb moment .

I want to know how it ends, I want to know more about the man's goals; so I guess that means it's a good story. However, I do wish proof reading had been better.