All Comments on 'Tempest City Ch. 04-06'

The writer actually is quite creative and the story is engaging. However, serious grammatical problems distract the reader. Many words are misspelled, some spelled so poorly that a wrong sound-alike is used (trig 'secant' for time 'second'). Punctuation is often missing or mis-applied. Scene changes should be marked with a '******' line, "Meanwhile, at the bar", or similar demarcation. The writer has talent, and the work is worth reading, but proof-reading and editing would greatly improve the results.