All Comments on 'Test Drive'

by The Mouse

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6 Comments

Headguy almost 13 years ago

I hope this is going toward interesting places

A very promising set-up. I can't wait to see where you're going to take these characters.

HarryHaversackers almost 13 years ago

Good read

Lots of fun so far. I can't wait to read the next installment.

mitchawa almost 13 years ago

One too many

An interesting plot but the second test drive was one too many. It seemed contrived to lengthen the story and add another sex scene. I liked your description of Tom and Pat's dates and their inability to go all the way. Debbie's intervention on her mum's behalf was plausible, and the way you led up to the sex was well done. The dialogue between Tom and the two daughters was in keeping with the situations. The sex scenes were well written but having the younger daughter want it in the ass was over the top.

You write well and if you had left Pam out of the story and gone on to Pat or even if Debbie showed up again; I would have given you a higher score. With an open-ended conclusion you have the possibility to add to the story as others have suggested.

As mentioned before, you write well but the plot exploded for me when Pam appeared.