Thank God for Irish Women Ch. 07

"Oh, good. Let me do my thing in the bathroom and I'll help you."

****

I carried the dirty clothes bag to the main house and into the kitchen. Emily took it on to the laundry room and loaded everything into the washing machine.

Mom was upstairs, and Dad had gone to the dairy for milking duty. On Saturdays, Dad and Brad did the milking. Sundays were the responsibility of Tommy and Tracey. They alternated the weekdays. Mark and Tony did the equipment maintenance and repairs and helped out as needed at the dairy.

The guys didn't have a fixed day to be off, they work it out among themselves when they need time off and vacations. Tommy and Mark were on salary, but the others worked by the hour. Dad had been very generous with all the guys over the years and, therefore, they were very loyal to him.

Mom greeted us when she came down. "Good morning. Sleep well?"

I replied, "We did. I was very tired from yesterday. I saw Mark's truck outside. Where is he?"

"He came early to install some of those new parts on the old tractor. He's in the barn."

"I'll go over and see if he needs help."

"Matt, you will not crawl under a tractor. You just got out of the hospital. Tony is coming over soon and will help him with the heavy parts. Now, how about pancakes for breakfast?"

We both said in unison, "Great!" And they were. Mom is an excellent cook, and her pancakes were always light and flavorful.

As we sipped the last of our coffee, Mom suggested that we take a picnic with us when we go to the lake. "Your dad had the guys put up a picnic table on the hill looking down on the lake and marsh. It's under that stand of old trees. All the guys use it with their families and friends."

Emily replied, "It sounds lovely."

"It is. Even on our hot midsummer days, there's a cool breeze under those trees. But, you don't want to be there during a thunderstorm. The trees are natural lightning rods."

****

Mom and Emily worked together to bake the hams for Mrs. Lewis' family and our Sunday lunch. I walked to the barn to check on Mark just as Tony arrived. They wouldn't let me do any heavy work, but I handed them tools and carried a few of the old parts away. I had missed the smell of the barn, the tractor, grease, and oil, and the hay stored in the loft. There were many great memories of playing hide and seek with Mark and the neighbor kids in the loft among 5,000 bales of hay. Our forts, built from the bales, were massive and, when armed with our Star Wars light sabers, we were invincible.

Later that morning, Emily and I dressed in better clothes and took the ham to the Lewis farm, which was about 12 miles away. We visited with the family as was expected. I knew the children but had not met many of the spouses and grandchildren. Everyone was glad to see me after many years and appreciated the ham.

Emily made a positive impression on everyone, it seemed. She said all the right words of comfort and sympathy. There was a feeling of relief that their mother was no longer suffering with that terrible disease and that she was at peace with their dad in Heaven. Mr. Lewis had passed away several years ago from a heart attack.

We returned to the house, ate a quick bowl of soup, and changed into swimwear to sunbathe. As mid-afternoon approached, I went inside and prepared our picnic with turkey sandwiches, chips, pickles, carrot sticks and Oreo cookies which Mom always had on hand for Dad's sweet tooth. Three beers, two sodas, and one bottle of water made up our stash of liquid refreshment.

I slipped the ring into a side pocket of the basket. I wasn't sure it was the day for that, but, if so, I wanted to be ready. We changed into jeans and t-shirts, took our basket and cooler and walked to the barn behind the house. Emily helped uncover one of the ATVs, and I checked the fuel and oil levels.

She was surprised. "This is a large one. I've seen ATVs before but never one like this."

"It's for farm work. We can load on many tools as well as fence posts, wire, a generator, chainsaws and fuel. It's actually like an all-terrain pickup truck except it goes places a truck won't easily go."

"It even seats four people," she added.

"If you're ready, let's go. We have to drive through three fields to get there."

The ATV roared to life and we took off to the lake. The drive was pleasant and not too bumpy. We stopped once to watch four deer cross a field. Emily was thrilled, having never seem them in the wild. We found the stand of trees Mom described and the picnic table that had been placed under a massive old red oak.

Emily was impressed. "This is a beautiful place. The marsh is much larger than I imagined. Are those cattails growing along the edges?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Mom sometimes used them for flower arrangements. I always liked them, especially when the seeds began coming loose and I could pick them off. They made a mess, but I thought they were fun to blow and see them float through the house. Mom always made me vacuum afterwards."

"Animals like muskrats eat the seeds, but I think all of the plant is edible."

"There seems to be many species of birds in the marsh."

"There are, almost year-round. Lots of ducks and geese use the lake; songbirds eat the insects, especially mosquitoes, and flies, and bats come in around dusk to catch flying insects. There are muskrats, turtles, and many deer that come to drink. The squirrels like the trees along the bank. And there are several species of fish. One of Mark's buddies caught a six-pound bass here last year."

"Let's eat. I'm hungry," Emily said.

As we enjoyed the picnic, Emily said, "Your family is delightful. I envy your growing up in this situation. Your dad is a strong leader and it's obvious your mom takes her direction from him. And it's also obvious that he adores her. I never really had a father figure until Mom remarried. But even before she died, my stepdad never took any sort of leadership role. I think Mom's personality was so strong that he was afraid of her to some extent."

"You mentioned that she was born in Ireland. How did she end up in California?"

"She moved to San Francisco with her boyfriend Sean. It was a bad situation that I'll share with you sometime."

"Why not now?"

"No, I can't. Not now." She didn't look at me, and I was surprised.

"Can we walk down and see the lake and marsh up close?" she asked.

"Let's take the ATV down. There's a boardwalk we built that crosses the muddy areas and leads to the lakeshore."

I repacked the picnic basket and transferred the ring to my pocket when Emily wasn't looking. After the basket and cooler were loaded and the trash secured we drove down the hill.

Taking the beers with us, we used the boardwalk to reach the edge of the water. There was a grassy area in the shade of a large sycamore tree, and we sat there with our legs crossed. I picked a few stones from the ground and tossed them into the water, watching the ripples quickly expand.

"This is one of the prettiest places I've ever seen. How big is the lake?" she asked.

"Don't know for sure, but I guess 30 to 35 acres."

"Is the water from a spring or runoff?"

"It seems to be from a large spring. As far as we know, it's totally natural. The water never gets muddy, even after a hard rain. That probably means that runoff is not a major source."

"You use canoes, I see." She was looking at the two canoes turned upside down just off the walkway.

"Yeah, they seem to be perfect for this size lake. Because the water stays cold even in the heat of summer, it's very pleasant to come here and paddle around. Dad brings Mom several times each summer to canoe and fish. The water is too cool for her to enjoy swimming."

Emily asked, "Did you come here often?" I continued to pitch pebbles into the water.

"I like to come here and think about things and make major decisions. It's so peaceful that I feel the presence of God here more than anywhere else."

"What decisions have you made here?" she asked.

"Where to go to college, whether to join the military like Mark did. I came here to pray for Mom when she was quite ill a few years ago. This is a special place to me, and I hope it will be to you."

"I'm sure it will be."

I nervously said, "Today, I'd like for you to make a decision."

She stared at me as if afraid. I took her hand.

"Emily, I'd like to ask you the most important question of my life."

Her free hand flew to her mouth, and tears welled in her eyes. She asked, "Is this for real?"

"Yes, would you marry me?"

She dropped her head and I could see tears dripping onto her legs despite her attempt to wipe them away. It took several long moments for her suddenly shaky voice to return.

"I'm afraid, Matt."

"Why are you afraid?" She was silent. I was dying inside.

"Matt, there's much about me that you don't know."

"Such as?" I asked. My heart was pounding. I couldn't believe the direction this conversation was taking.

"Matt, you look angry. Please don't be. I couldn't tell you before now."

"Go on." My throat was dry, and I felt a lump of fear choking me. What could this be?

"Matt, you can never tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

"Okay." What could this possibly be?

"Matt, look into my eyes. I'm very, very serious." I could tell she was.

"If you ever tell anyone, I'll leave you immediately. That is a fact, not a threat. I'm not joking."

Her serious stare astonished me. "I understand, Emily. I won't tell anyone."

"Fine. I'm trusting you.

"My grandparents, as you know, live in Dublin. Mom ran away from home when she was nineteen with a rock musician. Sean played with bands in Europe, and he and my mom came to San Francisco where he played with several bands, including the Grateful Dead. It looked as if he had a promising career. They eventually married, but it wasn't as easy for them as they once thought.

"My grandparents never forgave her for running off with him. She fled the life they gave her to live with the man she loved, only to have him betray her. The one thing she never gave up was the family name. She insisted that I use the Ryan name for my entire life, and I promised her I would. I have no idea why she demanded that. It means I can't take your family name if we marry."

"That's fine, sweetheart." I was beginning to relax.

"I didn't know anything about my grandparents until they came for Mom's funeral. Every time I had asked about them, Mom would start crying and wouldn't tell me anything except they were alive and living in Dublin. My stepdad did know about them and contacted them to come when she was killed.

"They flew over and spent four days with us. I was thrilled to meet them, and they seemed to like me very much. They were lovely people and I was very confused about why Mom never would talk about them or take me to see them. One night while they were visiting, my grandmama sat with me in my bedroom and explained the history of their relationship with Mom. I was devastated. To this day, I still don't understand some of Mom's decisions.

"I won't get into all the details but Grandmama said that she and Mom had talked often over the years and that she had begged Mom to bring me and return to Ireland. Mom always refused. That hurt her and my granddad very much.

"Grandmama assured me that they loved me unconditionally and wanted to be part of my life.

"They kept in touch through email. I occasionally called them and they were very sweet. I had no expectations beyond our love for each other. At least I had some real family remaining somewhere. As far as I knew, they were as poor as we were.

"Early last year, they invited me to Dublin to spend time with them during the summer. They didn't know about Patrick, and it was awkward for me to invite him along, so I went alone. The entire three-week trip was magical. It was as if I stepped into a world of opulence that I could never have imagined. What I didn't know until then is that my granddad is one of the wealthiest businessmen in Ireland. He owns eight distilleries both there and in Scotland.

"They live on a country estate like the ones you see on Masterpiece Theater. They have house servants, cooks, gardeners, a driver and even a riding stable with six beautiful Arabian horses. The place is like the setting of a TV show.

"Mom has a younger brother named John who lives near the estate. He runs the advertising, promotions, customer relations, and visitor centers at the distilleries. Mom never mentioned him.

"I took long walks with Grandmama and Granddad. I went riding with their groom and shopping with Grandmama several times. They took me to meet many of their best friends and into Dublin for social events, plays and concerts. They even had a 19th birthday party for me; and John's family plus 20 of their friends came. It was an amazing evening.

"We talked about many things, including the family history of Clan Ryan. They never once criticized Mom in front of me, but I could tell she had hurt them by her actions.

"I spent three days with Uncle John and his family. They were wonderful and have a beautiful home. He and Aunt Lillian have a girl named Shannon and a son named Brandon. They are now 17 and 15 years old. They've also stayed in touch and have become Facebook friends. I've grown close to Shannon, and we talk occasionally by Skype."

"This is all wonderful news, sweetheart, but why is this so secret?"

"Before I returned home, Granddad and Grandmama had a meeting with their solicitor and asked for me to be there. That's when I learned that Granddad had set up a trust fund for me at the Mellon Bank in New York shortly after I was born in 1990. I don't know whether Mom ever knew about it or not. They didn't say. But, there were conditions to the trust fund. Since I was 19, I could legally agree to the terms and that's why their solicitor was there as a witness."

"What are the terms?"

"The first one is that I can't marry before I'm 21. If I do, the trust is revoked. The second one is that the fund will be available for withdrawals when I'm either married to a person they approved, or the age of 30, whichever comes first. It seems that my mom's experience was not to be repeated, at least with their money funding it."

"I can understand that, I think."

"I can too. If I agree to marry you, we need to make arrangements to visit them and ask them to bless our marriage if we want the trust funds to be available sooner rather than later. And, we cannot be married until after July 18, 2011.

"The third condition is that the trust funds cannot be used as collateral for any loan of any type."

"That prevents you from borrowing against it as a way of getting around the other conditions."

"That's right. Now for the last condition, I must have a prenup agreement that prevents the fund from being divided. The money in that fund can never be part of the property to be divided between us if we divorce."

"What's the value of the trust fund?"

"At the end of 2009, the total invested value was a little over $48 million."

My heart skipped some beats. "Wow, that's a lot of money."

"It is; I can't imagine that much. Granddad put $10 million in the fund initially, but it's compounded over the years with the stock market and investments Mellon made for me. Granddad also helped manage it.

"Matt, you're the only person other than my grandparents and their solicitor who know this. You can never tell anyone about it. I never told Patrick as it might have affected our relationship. Since you have proposed marriage, I owe you this information. You will have to live with the conditions. They are not negotiable."

"I understand. But, why didn't they give you some money over the last three years to help with your college expenses and at least make it easier on you?"

"Matt, I was too ashamed to ask. I didn't want them to think my mother left me with so little and that my stepdad was such a vile person and wouldn't support me. Does that sound silly?"

"No, it doesn't. Family pride is important."

"I'd rather do without than to let them know anything negative about my mom." She began crying softly as I held her.

After several moments of silence, I said, "This actually makes it a little easier for me to share details about my finances that you don't yet know."

"I've already guessed you have money you haven't talked about. I'd have to be a fool to not see that."

"I want to give you the details. My ancestors settled here before Iowa became a state. Most of the land that is now Des Moines belonged to them at one time. Over many years, land was sold, divided among heirs and some was even taken by the city. My grandparents still owned 4,000 acres and six businesses until they were killed six years ago. They crashed in a small plane that my granddad owned and piloted.

"The land and businesses were gradually sold, and Mark and I inherited those proceeds while Mom and Dad inherited their savings. This farm had already been transferred to Dad.

"We were their only grandchildren. After taxes and settling what few debts they had, we had a little over $20 million each. That money is also in a trust and I can withdraw only three percent per year. Since it's earning more interest than that, the net balance is growing and will grow unless interest drops below three percent. I've withdrawn a million dollars in total over the last few years, and the current balance is a little over $24 million."

"What happens to the trust after you die?" she asked.

"It would be inherited by my wife or children when they turn 21 under the same withdrawal terms and conditions; or, if I'm not married and have no children, the money would go to the Salvation Army and Wounded Warriors. There's no requirement of a prenup as you have. Were there any limits set for how much you can withdraw each year?"

"Yes. Beginning on the first day that the conditions are satisfied, I'm allowed to draw down as much as 5% per year but not more than 10% over three consecutive years. If you do the math that pretty much assures that the principal will also grow continuously. But that allows us plenty of money we can use if we want it."

"Why wouldn't we want it?"

"It will change us, Matt. That's what scares me. It may change our relationship, and it will surely change our relationship to our friends. I never want our friends to know about the money. We might also become slaves to it and depend on it rather than on each other or God. It really, really scares me."

"I can see that; you've been trembling the last few minutes."

"Sweetheart, it's easy to know who your real friends are when you're poor. It's almost impossible to know when you're rich. In many ways, that money is a curse and we will end up with no true friends if this information gets out."

"What happens to your trust fund when you die?" I asked.

"I'm free to will it to anyone related to me, either by marriage or blood. But, the same withdrawal limits must stay attached to the funds. That means the principal will never be squandered by any future generation."

"You granddad was brilliant to assure that. Just quickly doing the math, I can withdraw at least $600,000 per year and you can withdraw at least $2,400,000, or $4,800,000 every three years, when the trust kicks in."

"Yes, but none of that is available to me until I'm 30. So it's been, in my mind, a mirage that is out there somewhere. I had no idea if they would approve of Patrick or not. I hoped so but who knows. I was going to marry him, no matter what. He never got around to proposing to me. And I wouldn't tell him about it until he committed to me. It just wasn't meant to be."

"And they may not approve of me. Therefore, you're right. Let's not depend on any of those funds for a long time, if ever." She nodded.