That 70's Show: The Slumber Party

(In season 5, episode 13; Donna hosts a slumber party for herself, Jackie and Annette...this is what should have happened.)

Donna and Eric were just beginning to regain the trust of their parents after running off to California without permission during Summer vacation. Donna had accompanied Kelso, much to his dismay, in a cross-country van trip to just get away from boring Point Place, Wisconsin; while Eric had gone to prove his love to his scarlet haired girlfriend. Eric's father (Red) had been ready to bury his foot up Eric's ass, but his mother (Kitty), although very upset, had recognized his quest as the most romantic gesture she had ever seen. Michael Kelso had just been dumped by his long-time girlfriend Jackie, and quickly tried to hook-up with the incredibly beautiful Annette. She was a middle-America boys dream come true: she was blond, tanned and built like the proverbial "brick-house." It was as if the Beach Boys song "California Girls" was written with her in mind.

Unbeknownst to Kelso, while he was in Malibu, Jackie had become the girlfriend of his friend Stephen Hyde; a fact they attempted to keep secret from the rest of the gang. Eric's mother, Kitty, had caught the new couple in an embrace and exclaimed, "you kids trade partners more often than square-dancers." After returning to Point Place, Kelso just assumed that Jackie would be pining for him and return to his arms, but was dismayed at the reality of the situation. After six months of failing to win Jackie back, Kelso called Annette and asked her to come for a visit; a romantic gesture she couldn't resist when he invited her to the Valentine's dance. When Annette arrived in Wisconsin, Kelso begged Donna to let her stay at the Pinciotti's home. Knowing things would be awkward, because they had not exactly been best friends in California, Donna convinced Jackie to join them for a slumber party on the first night, telling her they could make fun of Annette behind her back.

That night, Jackie and Donna dressed in ultra-conservative but totally comfortable flannel pajama's for the party, and Annette wore the only night-clothes she had brought: a sheer, white "baby-doll" set which exposed her more-than-ample cleavage and every inch of her long shapely legs. They quickly ran out of common topics of conversation until Jackie remarked that she couldn't believe the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders were adding their first red-headed cheerleader. Annette quickly scoffed, "ewwww;" and Jackie had found a new friend. They began to whisper to each other, excluding the red-headed Donna in her own home.

Suddenly Donna's "Brillo" haired father came into the living room and told Donna, "I just got a call from the police and I have to go down to the appliance store. Apparently the sprinkler system malfunctioned and water is flooding out of the store...I guess I should have listened to Red and hired a professional to install it. I'll probably be down there all night cleaning up so I called Kitty and asked her to come over so there will be an adult here."

"But Dad," Donna protested, "we're all adults...we're eighteen."

"Yeah right," Bob retorted, "the last time I left you alone, you went to California."

When Kitty came in through the kitchen door about forty minutes later, she was wearing her chenille robe over a sensible cotton nightgown and carrying a couple brown paper grocery bags. "Hi girls, heh, heh, heh," Kitty greeted them with that annoying yet somehow endearing cackle of hers, "thanks for letting me join your slumber party...it's my first one. Since we're all adults, I brought some wine. I rushed down to the store and the man said this Boone's Farm Apple Wine is what all the kids were drinking."

"I don't drink, Mrs. Foreman," Annette informed her.

"Well that's fine dear," Kitty acknowledged, "you can just have a few sips and try it...and please everyone, call me Kitty...I'm just one of the girls tonight. Now the first thing we're going to do is close all these drapes because those naughty boys are out in our driveway being peeping-toms." Kitty and Donna retrieved some glasses and chips from the Pinciotti kitchen and then they all settled back on the sofa and chair to relax and engage in "girl talk." They talked about school a little, Donna thanked Kitty for being like a mom to her after her own mother (Midge) walked out on them, Annette told them about California, and then they focused on the major teenage girl topic: boys.

Despite "not drinking," Annette continued to sip on several glasses of wine, and all the girls were feeling rather tipsy as they discussed their likes and dislikes about the opposite sex. Donna asked Kitty how she and Red stayed so happy and Kitty readily replied, "oh we have our share of fights, but we are just comfortable together. I won't lie...fantasy can play a big part in a relationship. You see Red as just a big, old scary bald man; but to me he is a caring wonderful husband and father. Sometimes when we're...being intimate...I imagine him as Mr. Jim Rockford; and it doesn't help that Red is hung like a horse, heh,heh,heh."

All their eyes bulged and Jackie choked on her wine at this revelation, and she asked, "really."

Kitty held her hands about a foot apart and acknowledged, "oh yeah, he knows how to please a gal." As the wine influenced the conversation farther, the talk grew progressively more raunchy.

Jackie asked Annette if she was really a virgin, because she had heard a lot of stories about California girls. "Oh, yes, I've never been with a man like that," Annette assured them, "of course I'm pretty athletic and, you know, a girl has to please herself...so, medically speaking, I'm not exactly intact...if you know what I mean."

"Oh sweetie, I'm a nurse so I know exactly what you mean," Kitty replied.

Jackie asked, "Mrs. Foreman...I mean Kitty...since you're experienced and a nurse, do you know any ways to...how can I say this, it's embarrassing...you know...make yourself feel good? As you all know, I've been with Michael and Stephen and sometimes I just don't feel satisfied after."

"Yeah," Donna added, "don't get me wrong Kitty, Eric is great, but he isn't always around and sometimes he seems to be in a hurry...if you know what I mean."

"Oh don't be embarrassed," Kitty calmed them, "remember I'm just one of the girls tonight. Of course I know what you mean...of course with Red's size, he usually hits all the right spots even when he's in a hurry, heh,heh,heh; but sure there are times that he is tired or not in the mood. Do you experiment with objects or just use your hands?"

"Just fingers," they all responded except Donna who admitted that her hair brush handle was her occasional lover.

"Ok," Kitty informed them, "I'm going to quick run over to my house and see what I can round up, and then we'll experiment together." She didn't realize how lightheaded she was until she nearly fell when she stood up, but Kitty quickly headed out the back door and across the driveway to her own kitchen. On the way, she informed the snoopy boys that they might as well go back into the basement because the rest of the night she was going to be giving the girls a cooking lesson. Her story seemed to be legitimate because she gathered assorted fruits and vegetables before heading back to the Pinciottis.

Staggering back into Donna's kitchen, Kitty ordered her, "make sure you lock the doors sweetie, we don't want to be interrupted." She dumped the contents of the bag on the coffee table for the girls to survey. There were various fruits, vegetables, and meat sticks of varying sizes; a bottle of olive oil, some spray whipped creme, and a generous handful of condoms. "Heh, heh, heh," Kitty cackled, "I bring home a handful of condoms from the hospital every day, as Donna and Jackie are aware...you need to be safe, and these will protect you in many ways. I brought some vegetables from my house because knowing bob, you probably don't have any healthy food in the house."

"Unless you consider jelly donuts healthy," giggled a very tipsy Donna.

When they were all back in the living room, Kitty, giggling herself, stated, "ok now, if we're going to get this experiment going, we need to get naked, heh,heh,heh. There's no need to be shy, we're all friends here and we haven't got anything we all haven't seen before, heh,heh,heh." And with that, Kitty ceremoniously kicked off her fuzzy slippers, threw her robe on her chair, and let her nightgown slide from her shoulders, down her surprisingly taught body, and onto the floor. She wasn't wearing any underwear as she announced, "there, now it's your turn." The teenagers were amazed at Kitty's body. Her 36 D breasts sagged a little and she had a slight paunch around the middle, but for her age she was a knockout. Her areola were large and dark brown, surrounding gumdrop sized nipples which were quite prominent. She was indeed a natural blonde and sported a bushy dark blonde patch between her still shapely legs. Kitty was completely unselfconscious as she reminded them, "remember, I'm a nurse, I see naked people every day."

Being a totally liberated California girl, Annette was not the least bit embarrassed about nudity; she was proud of her nearly perfect body. As she raised her arms and pulled the baby-doll nightie over her head, they were treated to the most magnificent pair of breasts they had ever seen. Perfectly round 36 C and so firm Donna thought you could probably bounce a quarter off them. She blushed when she realized she was staring, but Annette's breasts were truly a work of art. Her rosy pink areola were capped by pencil eraser sized nipples which seemed to leap out at you. Annette quickly shoved her white matching shorts down her perfect legs and everyone else in the room audibly gasped...her pubic area was completely bald.

Noticing that all activity in the room had ceased and that everyone was staring at her crotch, Annette nonchalantly proclaimed, "haven't you ever seen a shaved pussy before. All the girls in California do it so that their pubic hair doesn't peek out the sides of their skimpy bikinis."

Now both Donna and Jackie trimmed their bushes and shaped them so that their bathing suits didn't reveal too much, but of course the girls in Wisconsin didn't routinely wear the tiny bikinis that were common in Malibu. Jackie couldn't take her eyes off Annette's prominent, wrinkly lips and asked, "doesn't it hurt or anything when you shave it?"

Annette had finished undressing and sat on the sofa, "no, not at all. It was a little sensitive the first couple times, but now I'm used to it. It does itch when the hair starts to grow back, so you have to keep it closely shaved. If you like, I can do yours for you."

Both Donna and Jackie looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders; thinking that it might be fun to surprise their men. Kitty spoke up, "no, thanks Annette...Red would think I was some kind of floozy." Jackie and Donna slowly undressed, still a little self conscious, despite the increasing effects of the wine, but not wanting Annette to know. Jackie hadn't bothered to wear a bra and when she removed the tops of her flannel unicorn pajamas, she showed everyone a pair of 34 B breasts that were just as perky as she was. They were perfect hand-fulls, with just incredibly long nipples...they must have been nearly an inch long as they responded to the chilly winter night. Lifting her slender legs out of her pajama bottoms revealed her small, trimmed black patch. It was completely bare on the sides and shaped in a triangle that seemed to point at her puffy lips.

When Donna tossed off her flannel top, she uncovered the largest breasts of the four girls: they were a full 38 D and hung on her chest like bags filled with Jello. Rosy pink jellybean sized nipples capped her pink areola. She was the only one who had worn panties, and since they were her "granny panties" she just shoved them down with her pajama bottoms hoping no one noticed. Her bright red pubic hair was also trimmed in a triangle, and cut very short so that her long pussy lips hanging down between her legs were completely visible.

Annette, a first time drinker, was feeling totally uninhibited and suggested to Donna, "hey if you get a pan of nice warm water, some of yours or your Dad's shaving cream, a razor, and a bottle of baby oil; I'll help you guys shave that shrubbery." Donna, feeling just as liberated, ran to the bathroom and returned with the items and a couple of towels and washcloths slung over her shoulder. "Ok Big Red," Annette stated, "you're first, just sit on the edge of the sofa cushion and spread those long legs."

An excited Donna did as she was told, but politely and nevertheless sternly asked Annette not to call her "Big Red," because that was what the boys used to call her when they made fun of her size as a child. She had grown into her body and now all the boys were dying to get their hands on her tits, but the sting of childhood was still there. Annette wet a washcloth and placed it over Donna's pubic hair to moisten the area, having Donna shift so that her crotch was directly over the pan of steaming water on the floor in front of the couch. The warmth of the wet washcloth felt very soothing as Donna spread her legs as far as they would go. Next, Annette shook the shaving cream can and squirted a generous amount around Donna's mound, smoothing it with her hand. Neither girl seemed the least bit self conscious about touching another girl's crotch.

Donna had made sure there was a new blade in the razor, but still held her breath when Annette began to shave her pussy mound, moving Donna's long labia out of the way as she scraped the sides of her slit. She assumed it was an accident, but once Annette's fingers actually grazed her slit between her lips and Donna realized that all the attention to her pussy was making her very aroused. Kitty and Jackie were both on their hands-and-knees staring between her legs as Annette shaved her bald. Donna could not remember a time when another girl had seen her pussy, let alone three. Fighting the urge to reach up and massage her own breasts, Donna hoped the others would just assume the moisture between her legs was just the water from the washcloth. The shaving cream was menthol and really made her pussy tingle as Annette finished the operation. She gently wiped Donna's crotch clean and then began to massage it with a generous amount of baby oil. Donna had to bite her lower lip to keep from moaning as Annette massaged the folds of her pussy lips.

Her pleasure was interrupted by an excited Jackie chattering, "oh do me now...do me." Donna, ever the gracious host, took the pan to the bathroom and returned with fresh, warm water. Jackie had already assumed the spread position on the sofa, a huge grin on her face. As Annette repeated the procedure on Jackie, it became increasingly evident that Jackie was becoming aroused by the attention. Drops of fluid were seeping our of her hole and she was squirming as Annette tried not to cut her flesh. Since Jackie's body was so tiny, it didn't take long to finish shaving her and when Annette began to massage the baby oil around her pubic area, Jackie's huge clit began to peer out of its sheath. It was the size of a gumdrop and when Annette ran her slippery fingers over it, Jackie's petite body shivered and fluid shot out of her cunt as if there was a squirt-gun inside her.

All three girls jumped back in surprise as Jackie blushed deep red and apologized, "I'm so sorry, that is so embarrassing. Now you know my secret...I'm a "squirter.'"

"That is soooo cool," shouted a completely inebriated Donna, "do it again."

"Well it only happens when I orgasm, Donna, and I think that feeling has passed, "Jackie informed her, slightly indignant.

They, well mostly Donna, quickly cleaned up the shaving mess and everyone sat back down and waited for Kitty to begin the discussion. "I'm really glad you brought out that big bottle of baby oil Donna," Kitty began, "because now we won't have to use that olive oil. Now remember, never stick anything up inside yourself that could break off, heh, heh, heh, you wouldn't believe how many embarrassed girls we see in the Emergency Room. Sometimes it is better to put a condom down over the object rather than just coat it in oil, or KJ jelly if you have it. Take these cucumbers for instance...you have to be very careful to remove the spines or it can be quite painful...not that I have any personal experience, mind you; heh, heh, heh. Of course, they can also be very stimulating. Ok now, everyone select an object and we'll practice our technique."

Annette, being "almost" a virgin, selected the thinnest object on the table: a foot long hot dog. Kitty reached for one of the big, fat cucumbers, since she was used to being stretched by Red. Jackie grabbed a long pepperoni stick, and Donna selected a nice green banana.

"It's important to use bananas that aren't ripe yet," Kitty instructed them, "because they are more firm. When you use a nice, yellow one, it tends to get all mushy right in the middle of using it." Annette, Donna, and Kitty just squirted some oil on their "natural dildos" while Jackie covered her pepperoni with a nice bright red condom. Kitty spread her legs wide, bent her knees, and hooked her heels on the edge of the chair cushion; while the girls all followed suit and dug their heels into the edge of the sofa cushions. Watching Kitty, they all ran their objects up and down their slits, wedging them between their pussy lips and spreading their natural juices all up and down the lengths of their shafts.

Following Kitty's lead they all leaned back and began to tickle their clits with the very tip of their selected objects. Kitty's dense pubic hair was already matted with her fluids as they seeped out of her pussy and she spread them around with her cucumber. Every one of the girls was now wiggling her hips, aroused by the contact with their nubs. Kitty pointed the tip of the cucumber at the entrance to her hole, began to twirl it around in her hands, and then very slowly started to insert it up into her cunt. The other three watched intently as Kitty's pussy lips parted, gripped the green natural dildo, and her hole opened to permit penetration. They had never seen any other pussy being fucked and the sight of the cucumber disappearing between Kitty's legs was fascinating. Kitty unhooked her heels from the chair edge and extended her legs out in front of her, spreading her legs as far as possible. Sliding the cucumber in and out of her cunt with increasing speed, she looked at the others expectantly and said, "well what are you waiting for...give it a try."

Donna quickly spread her long labia with the fingers on her left hand and gently nudged the end of her banana between them, before sliding the entire length of the fruit up into her cunt with one steady motion. "Mmmmmmm," she moaned when the whole yellow dildo was buried inside her. With barely a pause, she began to thrust it in and out of her pussy, vigorously fucking herself; the banana glistening with her juices.

Beside her, Jackie had extended her legs out in front of her and was rubbing the latex covered tip of the pepperoni between the cleft of her puffy mound. Still fascinated by the sight of her own bare pussy, she carefully wedged it into her hole, twirling it like Kitty had demonstrated. Using both hands to control the slender foot long stick of meat, Jackie gradually slid it up into her tiny pussy. Annette was the only one actually watching, and she was amazed as the entire length disappeared inside Jackie. It was like watching a magic trick to know the whole twelve inches of meat was inside such a petite girl. She saw just the whites of Jackie's eyes rolling in their sockets as she threw her head back and groaned, "hooollllyyyy shit." Fluids dripped all over the carpet as she slowly withdrew the entire red stick and then jammed it back inside.