by betweenthesheets
You did a great job, just like the first chapter.Seems like this story could go on forever, they do a lot of fucking. And he should have been a cowboy. good read.Is chapter 03: in the works, I hope...........Good Luck......LAROC OF AGES
at the end of the first chapter he was dropped off at home, now he is at her parents condo HOW DID HE GET THERE. delete and do a rewrite and reread the first chapter before writing the second. it MAY be good but the shitty begining ruins the whole chapter. is it the next day or a week later or what. it reads like you left out a chapter time for a GOOD EDITOR AND A REWRITE.
I'm partial to cousin love. My grand parents were cousins. My grandma was lucky. She didn't have to change her last name. There was cousin love between the daughter of my oldest sister and the son of my younger sister. They had something special. I don't know what happened between them. Just heard stories how they had a special bond and crush on each other. They didn't end up with each other, which is sad.
I really enjoy the stories where there's a special relationship. I can't stand the stories where there's really nothing there, just sex. It's "Love the one you're with" attitude.
is she the adopted or blood cousin cause that could make a dif to the family
Even if they only allow five, you deserve a ten on this one. Fabulous and sexy ending. I had a similar summer and your words reminded me so much of that time - oh, the memories. // R1
Seriously dude, you can't stop now. This is a story where you feel connected to the characters and you want to know more. It is where you have that empty feeling in your stomach because you want the story to never end and you want to hear about how their love and lust grows even more. I do hope you have more in you to carry on this storyline. It is far too good to end it like this.
...you really succeeded in connecting these two. The buildup to the exploration seemed plausible and then the first romp with later sexual episodes were very believable. While some of the grammar in the writing is distracting at times, the story IS well written and you sell their unions well. I'd say please provide a Ch. 3 and more if possible. You've mentioned 5 years, so I hope you can find a way to fill that out. :)
Marriage between first cousins is legal in many states, including Florida.
Awesome story! I hope you continue it! I kinda wish he wasn't such a push over though! Like the incident in the night club! He just shrugged that off way too easily! Most guys would not be ok with that, well not the wimpy ones anyway! Still a great story just wish he wasn't walking around like a lost puppy dog with his tongue all the time!
You have got to continue this. The story is open to so much more. Please don't make us wait the five years too.
so far. You have to add at least one more chapter. Get through the 5 years quickly and get them back together again. The idea of first cousins marrying in Florida legally where he lives is great. Perhaps add that the whole family is ok with it and comment on how they could see the way they felt when they last vacationed at Disney.
Yes it's a great story and I truly enjoyed the build up. I hope you will continue it and bring them together 5 years later to see what happen to them.
Thank you for another wonderful chapter my friend. I had a cousin that I was intimately close to before, but now we have drifted apart somewhat. I know that this piece of work is fiction, but seeing you writing it with so much tenderness and love is inspiring me to reconnect with my own cousin.
Thank you.
What more can I say other than great writing and so touching. Great story, Great sex, True love with a sad ending with only hope for five long years to end hopefully happy. On to chapter 3,
This is a pretty good tale,it has sort of a slow, smooth flowing pace thats really enjoyable. I gave it a 4, probably would have been a 5 but I'm pissed at the douche for being an ass and not telling her he loves her. ...all the 'we can make it work' crap but no 'I love you'? Where's her motivation and incentive besides a good fuck if he can't even own up? (Yet, hehe;)
Looking forward to the other chapters!
You really know how to tug on the heartstrings sir.
I never can understand why fairly literate people don't know the difference between "shuttered" and "shuddered".
Can't believe how blind the parents seem to be.
Happy for them and very sad at the same time.
you really sucked me in to read the next chapters!! and quickly. love the relationship between them.
So engrossing, yet complete. Much as I want it to continue, if the story had ended there, it would have been perfectly bittersweet.
I hope the other chapters don't just string it out like a TV serial just looking to stay in the air, take up space.