All Comments on 'The Alien Ship Ch. 04'

While the editing is good, in general, the story isn't. This is basically bad erotica that wants to be a legit story, but isn't. I mean, honestly, why would the women, and Kyle, strip off all their clothes so readily, and in front of strangers to boot? It is human nature to wear clothes, unless a person happens to be a nudist. And then there's Cindy. Not only does she not give a damn about her boyfriend Kyle staring at all the naked ladies, human or not, but she actually encourages him to fuck them as he sees fit. That would be the perfect relationship for any guy, but it sure as hell doesn't fit with what happens in real life.

I liked this Ch. but, it was just way too short. looking foward to the next chapter. keep up the good work

A alien ship at his command. Check. The ship is full of naked female androids. Hmm, ok. Your girlfriend is cool with that. I am starting to have my doubts. She brings along her bi girlfriend a set of Asian twins? Dude? They all get naked and start having sex. Too much.

Kyle has no buds he wants to turn on this sweet ride?

I know I am asking a lot for believability on this site, but I would settle for plausible. If his girlfriend and her friends turn out to be androids sent to recruit him I would find it believable.

Just too much.

As an early writer said a lot like Mr. Marvel' Genesis Project.

<p>I am very disappointed with this chapter. Aside from its brevity, it appears to indicate that this story has run out of steam. </p>

<p.If you wanted to write a group sex story you could have done so without using the Alien Ship as a plot device. Having this vessel ups the literary ante and reader expectation dramatically. </p>

<p>This ship is capable of providing all basic human needs yet all our hero can seem to think of is to call upon a selected group of racially diverse and naked female robots. Then after that fete, our hero decides to invite his girlfriend and her friend and other mere acquaintances along.</p>

<p>Your writing in this chapter is more akin to <b>a teenage male in puberty</b>. Can your imagination think of no better scenarios than this? This ship can travel at light speed to other inhabited planets, yet our hero decides on a trip to Mercury, the hottest and dullest planet in the solar system. Why not Mars? Why not Saturn, as his girlfriend proposed? </p>

<p>By the way, if the ship can replicate anything why not have it create some traveling money when our hero needs to visit Earth, why have the ship mine gold? You have so much to work with here that it's a shame that your scenarios are so weak and cliche driven.</p>

<p>The problem with a story of this type is that you set a very high expectation relative to the logic of our hero's actions and the very actions themselves. You also set a high bar as to the human interactions. A hero of this type has access to power beyond any human on Earth. This must needs change <b>'how'</b> he interacts with others. And those who come in contact with this power are likely to be changed too.</p>

<p>However, instead of being creative with the other human cast you give us behaviors that seem ill-placed in this story. For instance, why does the loyal girlfriend become a carnal bisexual so soon? If she has such proclivities, then why is she our hero's girlfriend, and what binds him to her in their relationship? And why would his girlfriend invite virtual strangers to accompany her?</p>

<p>I think you have not outlined this story through to the last chapter. I will know for sure if your next chapter finds our hero trying to bed the various human females that have been brought on to the ship. If you take that route, then the idea of the ship will have become irrelevant and you will have missed the opportunity to write a really creative erotic tale.</p>

Nice chapter, I was a little disappointed with Cindy's surprise. Kyle has a ship full of naked female robots, so two human twins was somewhat of a let down. I was also a little confused with Kyle attitude of worrying about his girlfriend catching him in bed with two robots. She has already previously gotten naked before leaving so, one would think she would be cool with him experimenting with mechanical devices. I look forward to more adventure in future chapters. I hope to see some sort of conflict or challenge that Kyle or Cindy must face so that life on the ship is not so perfect.

OK, on a ship that can go anywhere, with 700+ female androids which look [and feel, and smell, and taste?] like human females, who are naked all the time and receptive to sex on demand, and 1, no 2, no 4 human females, who are [gasp!] ALL bisexual, and when they finally get around to having sex it's not as explicit as the womens' romance novels. The SciFi has run dry, and the erotica never got started. Sorry, but the author needs to develop creativity.

great chapter :D

Alright, Kyle is thinking like I was, about having the Android girls wear a ST: TOS mini-dress uniform that shows lots of long, lovely leg, .... yummy, .... and I think that he should still have Adventure build a few Male Androids as Vulcans and Klingons, for bridge duty and security, .... and maybe Captain's Kirk and Janeway for the Second shift and the night watch, ... liking the tale so far, ... ;-) ttfn

AAAA++++