All Comments on 'The Artifact'

Cant wait for you to continue the story. Hope it does not take to long. Very good premise and started out with detailed begin but did not get bogged down with miscellaneous items.

Look forward to more, in fact many more chapters.

I like a guy that is good, but not too good. Real.

Really enjoyable, and look forward to many more exploits of Jack.

Please keep up with this trend, as it is light hearted and thouroughly enjoyable.

Thank you for a great read.

Thanks for your story, something a bit better than fucking on fucking. I hope you'll continue the story in the same vein as you have written the first part. Once again, thanks

Nice job....good stories don't have to begin immediately in bed or where ever...looking forward to the next chapters.

Really liked it. Nice plot line with plenty of room for lots to happen. Keep it up!

Loved the plot; loved the well-written, articulate layout and progression of the story. I could almost have been there with your characters. Don't know where the story is going, but please don't leave me behind when you're on your way!

Great Things going here... I haven't seen something in Mind Control this good since JulianCoreto's Alan Series! I can only hope yours are as long running as his was. Can't Wait for More!

Please write some more. Mike from Texas

I enjoyed the story a lot :) Can't wait for the sequels

I knew you were real when you mentioned Ham & Lima C-Rats or Ham & Motherfuckers as we called them.

You picked your mission so Charlie Mike ELL TEE.

Mike S.

Just a great read' a refreshing story that keeps you similing and cheering for Jack,Please keep it going

looking forword to more.

what a great story. interesting plot, nice, believable characters, and hot. i hope you continue to add to it. i'd hate to see jack julie and kathy left hanging at this point.

Not badly written, but stilted and unnatural dialogue. The worst part though is that it fails the 'So what' test. Once you find asking yourself that more than once in a story, you've lost interest. I gave up counting when I reached double digits....

Please continue this story, you're off to a great start. I cant wait for part two

Great story! Please continue the saga!!

Great beginning. I hope that your protagonist and his 2 assistance well in their journey. (Even tho I hope they lose a battle or 2...:))

great start and i can see this being a long and fabulous story.

This would be a great story anywhere without the sex. The sex adds spice. Keep writing

I'll be looking.

Pretty good story. You might want to think about finding an editor to help with your writing.

This was a great start to what would appear to be a fantastic tale. Do keep going.

I thought that it was written very well and I would like to see a follow up on the story.

I quite liked your story. The awareness aspect got my attention. I'd read some of Tom Brown's philosophy ages ago and your characters foray into natural awareness and tracking got my attention. Not to mention my own interest in the "Mind Control" genre of erotic fiction. Even with some thin character development I would love to read further. Please continue!!

All I can say is... More please! You weave the complex aspects of life into a yarn interesting to multiple demographics. It's epic, caring, and sexy. Please don't let this one die.

I really enjoyed this. I hope that you decide to continue the story. Thanks for submitting it!

This is one of the best storys that I have read in years keep up the good work.

Okay, you have me hooked. Where is Chapter 2? Please continue the story line. Thanks for you effort.

A ferkin great start - a fabulous foundation to a great Saga, so "keep on writing"!

Forgive me for being dense, but why would a guy named Jack Katz be nicknamed Coats? I don't see the connection.

Jack Katz = Jackets = Coats

But why wasn't Dixon = Penis Junior?

...from the first paragraph.

I rarely comment on stories unless they really deserve it. This one does. It makes me wonder why I bother to write when I come across talent like yours. I'm looking forward to reading the next part.

Thanks

Roman

this is the first story of yours i have read, if this is an example of your work you have gained a devoted fan, thank you again

Good writing, nice foundation for a great story.

This so far has been quite interesting and a fantastic idea. Keep up the great work :D

I do not give 5 stars easily, but you deserve it. Great start to the story; very impressive. Only negative is a few mistakes I noticed where your spell check missed grammatical errors. Be sure to watch out for those in the future.

Keep up the great work.

I really enjoyed this story and hope to see either more of it, or, more like it. It was almost believable.

keep on thinking and putting your ideas on paper. good to read and almost feel like you are the main guy. thanx pops1943

This is compelling reading. I'd love to read more. I hope it becomes multicultural as Jack works his magic across the nation and then internationally. I can't wait to hear about all of the juicy openings that are awaiting him.

Keep up the good work!

Hope you come back and add to this story line.

for the souls that got back from Vietnam. This would be such a wonderful gift to have from Hell.

Thank you for your insight. Has been a long time cumming!

Overall, the quality of your work is much better than the average writer on this website. i would strongly recommend that you seriously consider working to become a mainstream writer. This could mean toning down the explicit sex, seeing what sort of a nemesis you could contrive for Jack to struggle against, set backs in his altruistic path and any other problems he might have to overcome. Perhaps the medallion has some limitations he's not yet discovered. Perhaps the Dark Forces

are aware the medallion exists but are just beginning to be aware that it has been freed and is the possession of a truly altruistic person. There truly is novel potential here and you may just have what it takes to write it. It won't be easy, you have to have both imagination and persaverence.[sp?] Good Luck! -- P.S. you can dedicate the book to Big Jake if you make it.

Excellent work

Horrible story, keep your personal views out of it and try to move the story along a bit faster. I got super bored with all of your intense inthejungle scenes. If I want that I will go watch a lame hollywood movie.

I loved it! You rarely see the good guy coming out on top anymore. Being a vet from the Vietnam era made me really appreciate the airport scene!!! Lookin for more from you.

Pay no attention to "Not Great". Instant gratification drives him.

this is to the guy who won't give his name but can tell someone how to write a story, bro if you don't like the story go to another one, that's what this site is for with all the choices, anything else sounds like the kid with the ball who doesn't get his way then takes the ball home like a lil.........

definitely a great story normally wait till last chapter to comment but couldn't help myself

You are a superb storyteller.

DO continue.

Phenomenal...no, seamless job of bringing us from the heat of the Vietnamese Jungle to ocean breezes of California. Very well crafted. Thank you, and please(!) continue your work.

I love science fiction and combining it with eroticism this way makes for a great story.

Thank you for such great writing and story line I can't wait for more. Please keep up your awesome writing.

Paul :-)

I have no idea why this wonderfully written story is in this venue. It is not a sex story. It is a story with some sexual content. It has a gripping plot and decent character development. I was reminded a little of the movie Highlander, an unusual story pretext yet it worked. I would love to see this expanded into a book and or movie. Good luck to the author.

This has to be the best story I have read in a long time. Please keep it going.

Great story , keep it up

Excellent story, thoroughly enjoyed it, keep up the good work!~

Good stuff man, very good stuff. I look forward to reading the rest.

Loved the story line. You were able to keep it short where needed but explained the details without letting it drag.

beautiful work please keep writing

Great to have sex stories but ones with a plot are so hard to find. Love the beginning of your story amost makes me think you did time in Vietnam.

It is amazing how the overpowering effect of the artifact on everyone in the story exercises a similarly powerful effect on the reader...I was hooked from the first paragraph, and I can't wait to continue reading. Awesome job!

I've been reading this kind of stories for 2 years, but until now I found a masterpiece, congratulations keep writing this way please

These other comments say it all-Well Done-Charley Mike

ya, I too, think you been there and seen the the elephant. great to find the new line of thought and the approach. Most just give a little history then cut to the chase, for their own gratification and satisfaction. sure they leave others well satisfied, not I don't think as well as you seem to. Again a Very Well Done!!

Doc,

Your finely tuned narrative tells me you are either prior military or one hellva rsearcher.

Great story and am waiting for more

Philip

i couldn't stop till i got to the end and now i am hanging in limbo

I really hope you add more to this.

*****

Great story. Keep it going.

[First, let me confess that i've only read up to the point where you said, "The story begins -". I stopped there not because of any fault in the story, but only because i want to savor what i've already read and then go back and enjoy the rest later. (Also, i'm starving; i haven't had breakfast yet and i've been up half the day!) -- We now return you to your regularly scheduled comment.]

I love this story. It's pure fantasy but it's obviously grounded in reality [or would that be "backgrounded..." ;) ]. I was riveted. This is an erotic tale of a higher ilk; an adventure story with an erotic charge woven through like a silken thread. I'm very pleased to see you've continued it beyond this first chapter. I look forward eagerly to reading all of it!

Great story! Thank you for sharing!

Awesome story keep it up.

A truly fantastic story, one of the best I have read so far.

Please, if possible add to the saga.

Mate, what the hell are you doing here writing like this? Get out there and write a book, Make a few bucks off of this. I would pay $50 for this story alone :-)

This is one story I couldn't put down. Read it start to finish, very quickly. Only now disappointed that it was over. Please continue the story.

Loved this piece could'nt put it down,well written and put together ..Bravo

A great read! Hope there is more on the way!

Definitely talented! Loved your work. More please!

But hey -- the ham and limas were my favorite! At least you knew you were going to have a good dump after a bout of impressive farting.

It's the little things that make the difference.

More please, ASAP! Thanks for what you've done. Isn't just a stroker, is a quality read!

This morning I was reading about the Trung Sisters, no medallion of course. What a great way to weave history into a story. Plus it is aopretty damned good story.

Thanks for writing this story. You have the chops for mainstream literature. If you're not independently wealthy yet, find a thread and build and audience. Looking forward to more chapters and stories.

its an interesting take to a mind control story. i really loved making the two women orgasm in the restaurant. brilliant!!

I am looking forward to discovering where you are taking us.

Very well written, even with fewer typos than the average story on this site. I am hoping that the following chapters are executed as well as the beginning was. I also hope that the premise continues to follow what had been put into motion.

I was thinking you were leaving a lot of details out, but I prefer the fast pace you are using. Thanks for the remembrance to our Vietnam vets, a war I just missed thanks to my age my selective service draft number was 48, not good,and calmer heads to end the war. A freind from the old neiborhood was just commenting on facebook about his experience when he returned home from Nam.

This story reminds me of another, A gift from his father. A ring than greatly enhances his life, both storys are fun, However the power doing most everything get borish. I think the struggle we all endure in our lives makes it better with our success over adversity.

Thanks again for a fun story.

I didn't plan on getting so chatty, I felt something . Haha.

it's a fantasy...and that makes it easier to just go with it.

I really liked the descriptions of walking point. Too bad you didn't convey the rotting jungle, slick wet mud, and burned smell... Maybe that wold be too much though. I was in "The Chair Force" but have had some Infantry training. I appreciated anyone wearing a CIB. Enough said!

I like the story about doing good for society and how the mental aspects work within each of us. I love this story. Best one in Literotica!

Loved it. 5 stars, but this link only shows 2.

Great story, When are you, going to finish the story. I cannot believe that you, let this story go to waist.

Extra story I really enjoyed the storyMK8Uw3

The quality of your writing is what I would expect from a good paperback novel. You have skills...

Even better second time around

318 Hemi?

Liked your story though:)

5 hours of orgasms and 12 orgasms a piece put this story into a science fiction genre for me. Though I rarely read them, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

OUTSTANDING!! THE AUTHOR NEEDS TO KEEP IT GOING I LOVED IT.