All Comments on 'The Bar'

typos aside, no problem, but story is weird and descriptions are not fluid, evidence of the need to rework and polish. frozen glass up the ass is a turn on? Max must be Mr. Freeze, oh well, I'd give it a try except you might break the thing in your ass, hemorrhage and stain the carpet not mention it might kill cata (where did you get that name?) also some rough language ex. (such that , this was the smoothest man, (should be "he"), eat her out expertly (naaaa), undergrad(u mean a school),take her right leg(she now has one leg?), left foot on floors(must be a large foot),enjoyed sensation and environment( while climaxing she enjoys the decor?), etc.) anyway it was a try, it just didn't make it, but try again with more care. stories need to be rewritten until they flow smoothly like cum from a cock--

A tad off but all and all not a bad story, the glass toy yeah loved that part.

Nicely done....very nicely done.