All Comments on 'The Birthday Present'

this story had potential, but you need to proof read before you submit. It begins with sister trying to arrange a meeting at the cottage for spring break. Then, several days later as brother arrives, "it is a perfect fall day."

....it managed to get worse

The shithole sex certainly didn't make it better--Wish you guys would grow up

....it managed to get worse

The shithole sex certainly didn't make it better--Wish you guys would grow up

the ending totally ruined the story.

Your beginning was bad, but you built up to some potential in the center and then let it fall to pieces at the end. NEVER mix eroticism with politcs. All you end up doing is pissing off half your readers, and the other half wonder what was the point?

turned me on

Don't quit your night job at the Wal-mart to pursue a writing career.