All Comments on 'The Black Velcro Choker Redux'

HAHAHAHA well done!!!!

Outstanding!!!!!

BTB crispy with fries, 5*****

@Infosauger

"Just one question: What das this sentence mean?

"One of his friends gave me a gift that keeps on giving on both sets of my lips.""

Herpes sores, both oral and genital.

Re the story, it was really quite cartoonish, but it sounds like the original was as well. If the original favored the cheater, I have desire to read it. 4*

Amusing, but over the top.

If only it worked like this in the "real" world.

Good story. Thanks.

An appropriate roasting.

Hopefully the original author will read your version and see how it's done!

Much Improved. Thanks

Top version.

What an amazing BTB. Didn't bother reading the original (based on its score, it ended well for the criminal, not the victim). Easy 5 stars, please write more.

Great improvement over the original. Miles still got off too lightly.

Mfj

I loved this part much better than the original which I was barely able to read. And finally the court system gave proper judgment.

yup that's a swamp donkey alright!!! I'd know their bullshit a mile away!!!

A good ending to the previous mess.

Thank you for fixing what was a horrible original story.

like he couldn't get THE SAME representation from any in-town attorney.

What makes any of these straight-from-central-casting figures interesting?

A shame this writer left this cesspool of cuckys & limp dick beta bitches...

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 👍😂 Funny as hell. Nope, it's not realistic. Damn good short fiction! (ANONYMI - you know who you are - GET A LIFE! LAUGH A LITTLE! OR... READ SOMETHING ELSE. 🤔)

GREAT !! AWESOME!! I loved ti. Not long enough, and all most enough carnage, but it will do.5 stars, the Bear approves. More, please.

The BEAR

P.S. I Iove happy endings.

Hilariously over the top, but at least in this version the guilty party suffers and the innocent party gets the better of the legal battles.

Just as ridiculous and unbalanced as the original but in favor of the husband, and not quite as well written.

Totally impossibly hilarious.

Short revenge story. this time, in favor of the husband.

Damn that's funny.

You want fries with that?

Totally unrealistic.

I agree with johsun in "that the court system would be quite so harsh on her, or nice to Charlie." While this ends 180 degrees different from the original, it is just as bad. If Miles is as affluent and powerful as intimated in the original, how could Charlie get to him to do or have done the damage stated here?

Nice revenge story, but I don't think that the court system would be quite so harsh on her, or nice to Charlie.

@Infosauger

.

herpes

Just one question: What das this sentence mean?

"One of his friends gave me a gift that keeps on giving on both sets of my lips."

Nice

Fixes the original. Fucking cunt.

By far a better ending justice is served.

If only life were this good. I made the mistake of reading the original, the ending was shit this in some ways makes up for that.

But we all know that justice very rarely gets meted out in such a satisfying way.

Thermonuclear BTB!

If only....

Perfect ending for the original story. Justice is served.

That’s more like it. Well done.

Scores 5/5

Haven't read the other version, but nothing could be better than this one. The "fries" line is , as previously stated, a classic.

The first version was as dark as this was bright. Murphy621 just has visions of super slutness, where nothing matters more than her next orgasm.

Much better than the original. Kudos to this author. Always good to see a writer keeping us out of the cuck zone. Thanks

That "do you want fries with that order," is a LW classic .

The appearance of the superlawyer for Charlie, was more like a deus ex machina that didn't really add any meat to the better ending. More like a sweet roll than a main course.

You need to give Murphy621 some writing lessons! Maybe give her some dick while you're at it. I don't think the man hating bitch has been laid in awhile! LOL!

Love your ending to the story. Seems justice was done, and the Bitch was burned. Smells like fries.

No real conflict in this, just simple fantasy.

It's hard to take a basically lousy story and try to fix it. I give you a five for trying.

I see you only wrote two stories, too bad.

Jedd Clampett

As a lawyer, I found the "Hearing" on the ex parte order completely, totally, utterly, absolutely, ABSURD!!!!!!

No final divorce is granted at an ex parte hearing, which would have been to gert hubby out of the house, get her keys to the house and back in it temporarily, some temporary maintenance for her, etc.

The offers of proof, the shrink, his lawyers testifying (instead of the shrink, boss, new property owners, etc, etc, ad nauseum) were just that--enough to make me sick.

As bad as the cop shows where the DNA is sequenced and the perp identified from the FBI Data Bases in 30 minutes.

When the case does go to trial in some months, wifey still gets the kids in 47 or so of the 50 states. As well as rehabilitative spousal support for a few years. And she most likely gets to stay as mom in the only house the children have ever known, until the last one reaches 18.

Just as absurd as Murphy621 burn the cuckolded husband, but here it's burn the bitch.

BOTH STORIES ARE IN THE WRONG CATEGORY: THEY ARE BOTH FANTASY!

In his case, I think it is great that he can look at the pretty girls in the world and not be able to do anything with them. I wish him a long life

Yes sometimes there is justice in this world and Q_L_P has given us a glimpse of what should happen to idiot fools. Love the crushed balls on Miles but for me a shotgun would have been a better solution.

Thanks for the new ending - I rest better at night knowing that real men exist.

A good look at possible fallout to the party who acts in their own interest, with no real care or regard to the affect it has on others. The man got powerful legal representation and a judge that had probably seen one too many of these "bullshit" cases and ruled accordingly. Nice to see that "Miles" got just deserts in the end also. Enjoyed your story, thanks for sharing it.

Nothing better than a disrespectful cheating cum dumpster wife getting what she deserves.....

.... it must really suck (literally) to be a cheating WHORE wife apologist! So sad for you .... now it's time for you to return to your bedroom closet and wait for the "next" real man to service your wife.

The real guys and Gals love the outcome of disrespect!!!!

No forced implausible reconciliation and you slobber at the mouth in rage?

the author plagiarizes and writes a fantasy that only the BTB assholes can stomach!

Stop writing, asshole.

- This ending to murphy621's original,"The Black Velvet Choker" corrects the unjust ending present in that first version.

- The heartless,cheating twat got exactly what she deserved,and Charlie and the kids were a happy family. (Nice to see Charlie trading UP to a sweet young hottie,too!)

- And the final evidence of justice being served,or KARMA,if you will,was having Miles getting his balls crushed! (Would have been nice to have known how!)

Too bad we can't afford an attorney like Mr Steele, as the Guardian of Justice in this story. Masterfully written and a joy to read. Since I am not an author I limit myself to comment exclusively on the aspects of a reader. In summation, it is always nice to see the conquest of good over evil. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case in real life. In spite of the lack of plausibility, I loved the outcome in this story. If a couple finds that they are losing interest in each other, they should discuss it and then seek counseling or separate and/or divorce or perhaps move into other arrangements.

Much better than the unrealistic piece of garbage by Murphy. Other than the horrible ending the other thing that bothered me in the Murphy original was in the very beginning when lover boy demands her name and phone number? I think 1000 out of 1000 women give the creep a false name and a wrong number and that the rest of the story never happened. The original story truly was a horrible story.

but not what you need or Had. TK U MLJ LV NV

How to take a pile of shit and turn it into gold. Well Done. Thanks for a terrific story ending.

the reason you preferred the original is because you can sit at you computer pulling your pathetic little pee pee and imagine it is you fucking the skank slut because in reality you couldn't get fucked in a whore house on freebee night.

All's well that ends well.

OH YEAH

Hard to believe anyone could like the original.

it would only happen this way 5*

torchthebitch forever!

B T B BRIGADES

The original seems to have been pulled? Nice story, I like your problem solving plots!

The last sentence was the icing on the cake.

Nothing like a Walt Disney fantasy... It was fun, while it lasted

sometimes the courts do enjoy Star-Kissed pay offs, TK U MLJ LV NV

GOOD ONE.

BobbiNonTheCock go, go away, go and smoke your pantys, you creepy tranny !

Your ending managed to turn a pile of garbage story into a good read! May all the bitches burn! My only problem now is that Murphy621 has SO many other stories that need this treatment. Can we expect you to continue righting the wrongs? LOL!

Well done.

A much better ending

Much better ending. She admits to doing wrong to her marriage. Then expects the courts to reward her. Happens way to often in real life. This no fault shit has to go. Or at the least every marriage license should come with a prenup page 2.

a far better ending than on the original story

This redux was fantastic. Way to go. The whore got what she deserved. HERPES.

HA HA HA HA HA

The redux is truly better lol

And excellent writing. Please stay in this section and write us another one :)

Great tale a cheating skank gets her fair share. Her lover gives her his devotion and Charlie Tuna finally gets called by starkist. It doesn't get better than this.

............

Love the Ending better

I enjoyed your writing and especially the ending. Beat murphy621 hands down

this is a more realistic ending. don't know about having a super lawyer for a friend but if he knew she was cheating it made sense to get pictures, and hire any lawyer to get him a decent deal. Good story

A bit over simplified and lacking suspense or emotion, I thought. For your first effort it was still fairly well done. I hope you continue to post. Thanks for the read.

Good flash story. Unlike the cluck-loving murphy621 who is still looking for the instruction manual on how to wipe his asshole after crapping.

better

you keep on "pumping" out those RAAC / Cuck / Wimp stories ....... including your highly rated "The Black Velcro Choker" ... that would be the wildly successful "2.61" reader rated story of yours!!!! Oh and don't forget to "zip up" after you get off in your Cuck Closet.

LOVED IT !!! Thank You for Writing

Of course you like your ending better Murph. No one else did, however. Anyone else want to take on this tale? I know other authors have different ideas. The bitch needs to be burned more than she was. Great first attempt at a tale Q. I look forward to more.

Well your ending will make the "Burn the bitch" crowd happy but I still like my off beat ending better. I like to keep my readers surprised and the BTB boys irritated

Murphy

I honestly cannot stand cheaters getting away without having to pay for the pain they have caused.

Still laughing.

This is why you write your own stories instead of copying someone else's. I mean really, if you're going to change fundamental aspects of the original story to suit your rewrite, rewrite the whole thing - your own story.

You've basically taken a lame cuck story and turned it into a lame BTB story. Why? Because both versions are nothing more than fantasy pandering to certain dynamics rather than engaging in quality story-telling. Rated 1* on both versions.. All characters involved in the first are unlikeable fools with an intact plot, while the plot in the second is plain broken with a marginally more likeable husband.

I consider this yet another good reason to hate both the Cuck and BTB brigades. Sinking perfectly good story concepts with their need to populate and dominate their poisoned world views.

Sadly the legal system is more likely to favor the results as per the first story instead of the second.

But one other issue is the conclusion. In the first story her lover was wealthy and intelligent. He would have been unlikely to put her in that position without anticipating and preparing for any and all contingencies.

Way to go author.

Yes it can. When a green fly tries to sweeten the fresh dump for the only purpose of giving the rest of the swarm of green flies more to feed on.

The original was utter crap. No points from me, for bringing it to my attention.

This is a more equitable ending to the original F*U* story. This, coming from one who has been burned by the legal system. Luckily I had my own "Steele" of a law dog. BTB was too good for her. Also, too bad Miles just had his balls crushed. They should have been in a baggie hanging from his neck!!!