The Book of David Ch. 04

I breathed out a long, long sigh as I tried to gather my bearings. Then I held my girlfriend in my arms and kissed her forehead before holding myself two feet away from her. "I'm sorry."

She looked at me strangely, not understanding. "Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry that I'm holding you back. I'm sorry for getting things so serious, so quickly. I think I kind of steamrolled you that way."

"It's okay. I love being with you."

"But you want to break up with me..."

"No!" E-Beth shrieked, and then threw herself into my arms. I looked up in confusion at Amber, who similarly was looking perplexed. "I don't... but I do. I- I don't know!" And then she was crying once again.

I REALLY didn't want to lose E-Beth. But I couldn't trap her any longer. If she only stayed out of obligation, things wouldn't work out in the end anyways. "I have to let you go, Elizabeth. If we are meant to be, we will find each other again."

She kept crying, sobbing into my shoulder. My shirt was already getting pretty damp. I held her away and she looked up at me through bleary eyes.

"You are beautiful." I ran my hand along her side and over the curve of her ass.

"Your fault."

"I can't take the credit. It was all you. You could do that for yourself, and you can do anything for yourself. Elizabeth, you should go out and do all the things you wanted to do, the things you couldn't do because of me. I can think of a couple frat boys you flirted with that would CERTAINLY like a second chance."

"But I AM happy with YOU," she pleaded.

"You're happy with me for now... But Amber is right. You'll always resent me if you don't break free. Maybe just a little bit, but it would be a crack in our relationship that would only grow and drive us apart down the road." I tried to be rational. "This is a great time to separate. You can go off to your internship. I go home to my family. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Outwardly, I was calm and assured.

E-Beth looked like she was about to accept it. She was wiping her eyes and calming down.

"Go, party, be as wild as you want to be," I told her. "If we ever get back together... someday... you'll know it was because you really wanted me, without obligations. And you'll know that I want you for you, not just to replace Ellie."

She launched herself at me once last time, pressing those delectable breasts into my chest and kissing me with a fiercer passion than we'd had in months. All too quickly, she pulled back. "Thank you, David. For everything."

Be careful what you wish for. You may just get it. And E-Beth and I were breaking up.

I managed to hold myself together until I dropped E-Beth off at the airport. She pecked me on the cheek and said goodbye. We both knew we'd see each other again the next fall. How would we look at each other? I didn't know.

It was important for me to appear calm and confident. If I'd fallen apart and showed any more sadness than my stoic tears, I'm pretty sure E-Beth would've caved and promised to stay with me, forever, rather than cause me pain. It would have been out of obligation, and it wouldn't have been right.

So I held up my façade, and we parted on friendly terms. I didn't emotionally crash until I got back to the apartment.

Danielle and Cherys were in the middle of packing. They were shuttling in and out of their bedroom, standing up their big suitcases in the living room.

Cherys remarked, "Oh hey, you're back!"

Danielle chimed in. "Just in time to help us carry these down to my car!"

I paused, at the very edge of my control. I looked at the two of them, still happily together after so many years, blazing green envy shooting from my eyes. "How do you do it? How do you find your soulmate and hold onto them? How do you know she's the one?" There was a hollow note of pain in my voice.

They looked at each other for a moment, obviously perplexed by my behavior. Danielle asked, "You okay?"

"Not really. Just give me a minute and then I'll come back and help you."

I walked into my bedroom and closed the door. Only then did I collapse onto the floor and begin sobbing like a little baby.

***

SUMMER BREAK, PRE-JUNIOR YEAR (June 2000)

"Can you believe it's already been two years?"

I glanced over at Nate, drained my beer and then chuck it in a high arc off the bridge. "Naw... feels like we were just here yesterday."

I wasn't too worried. That was only my second and I knew I had a pretty good tolerance. But I didn't reach for another one. Instead, I just leaned against my car. "How's football?"

"Good, good. Our starting quarterback graduated, so now I finally think it's my time. Of course, the coach tells everyone it's an open competition. But I know the playbook inside and out, and these freshmen are all flash and no substance. You'd better keep your eyes on ESPN." As if to punctuate his remarks, Nate's can flew off into the heavens. As expected, it went a good ways farther than mine.

We both watched the can sail off into the distance, eventually splashing down into the river. I was just starting to get to the maturity level when I'd at least think twice about aluminum beer cans in major rivers, but not yet to the age where I really cared that much. Nate was the first to break the silence.

"So, what's up? If you just wanted to hang out, we could've hit a pool hall. I'm guessing you've got something on your mind."

"How's Monica?" I asked quickly, still staring off at the river.

He took the abrupt change in topic smoothly. "She's good. We should all get together again, for old time's sake. At least, meet up for coffee or drinks or something."

I nodded. "And how are you two?"

Nate just started in on a new beer. "We're not actually together right now."

"What?" I was honestly shocked. "You two looked ready to get married when we graduated High School."

He shrugged. "College is a different world, man. But just because we're not together doesn't mean we don't love each other."

I screwed up my eyebrows looking at him as if his face had turned green.

"We've been keeping things casual. She sees other people. I see other people. But in the middle we always manage to find each other. She's just too damn gorgeous and I can't keep an eye on her when she's at her own school. Besides, all my teammates would lynch me if I took up permanently with a Stanford chick. Boning her from time to time, that's cool. But nothing permanent."

I briefly thought of E-Beth. "You happy with that kind of open ended relationship?"

Nate waggled his head. "Yes and no." He broke into a grin. "I gotta admit, man. Sometimes it feels like I've got my cake and I'm eating it too. I've still got a solid line out to Monica, and we have some really good times. But I can still play with all the gorgeous football groupies. If I become the starter in a few months, I'm going to have more pussy than I can handle!"

I chuckled and we both looked off into the horizon. The sun was starting to come down on this summer evening, bathing the canyon in an orange glow.

Then Nate's voice came up softly. "But you know, I got this feeling... deep in my gut. When the dust settles, whether it's in the NFL or just another day job, it'll just be me and Monica."

The handsome quarterback turned to me. "She's my soulmate, you know?"

He was certain of it; I heard it in his voice. And I knew that I didn't feel that way about E-Beth. We were good together. She made me happy. But I wasn't sure if she was 'The One'. Maybe she could be, but right now, she definitely wasn't. I had to admit, it made me feel just a little bit better about us splitting up.

"But!" Nate wheeled to me. "You didn't ask me to meet you here just to listen to me wax poetic about YOUR ex-girlfriend. So what's up? You got something to get off your chest? You looking for answers to your own pathetic excuse for a life?"

"Yeah..." I answered slowly. "But you know, I think you already gave me the answer I needed."

"What's that?"

I smiled back at him. "Plenty of fish in the sea."

***

PRE-COLLEGE (September 2000)

Same day, different year. But the rain came again.

I held the umbrella with my left hand and my right was wrapped around Cherys' waist. She stood before me, half-rotated to hug me and half-facing Ellie's headstone.

We both cried. It hurt to see her grave, especially coming so close after my breakup with E-Beth. And yet somehow, it didn't hurt as much as last year.

***

FALL QUARTER, JUNIOR YEAR (September 2000)

Getting through the summer without E-Beth was infinitely easier than getting through the Fall Quarter months without Ellie had been. I knew my ex was alive and well, and the emails we passed back and forth kept me satisfied that she was happy. The concept of these electronic messages was still new and I was still getting used to it. But I reveled in the connectivity email afforded me. And maintaining that connection maintained my sanity.

The Engineering internship I'd gotten for this summer, just before my Junior year, was a carryover from my previous summer. They liked me and they hired me back. If I kept this up, I'd have a good shot at a job once I graduated.

But when it came to friends, I found that most of my high school buddies had drifted apart. Yeah, we had some reminiscing to do. But for the most part, I was more interested in getting back to campus and hanging out with my closer friends.

So I stayed busy and got used to the single life. I went on a few dates, none of them really going anywhere. And then the summer was over and it was time to go back to school.

As usual, I helped Danielle and Cherys move their things back into our apartment. When I set down the last bag, Danielle patted me on the back reassuring me, "That's the LAST time you'll ever have to help us move in. Just think, next year you'll be able to go to school without your big sis hovering over you all the time!"

I groaned. "How will I feed myself?"

I was joking, but it made me realize that this really was Danielle and Cherys' Senior year. They would soon be gone, and who knew when I'd see them again. I took my time that day, slowly getting my room organized and spending a lot of time chatting with the two women. Yes, they were full-fledged women now. At twenty-two, their bodies had pretty much reached their zenith. Rounded hips and luscious curves had been fully developed, and the terrible concept of sag had not yet reared its ugly head.

Once I was done with my room, I stopped by theirs. The people who had subleased the apartment over the summer had rearranged most of the furniture, so we all had to rearrange it right back to the way we liked it. "Can I help you guys moving all that?"

Danielle stood up straight from the dresser she was trying to shove over and wiped her brow, looking at me oddly. "David, I do believe you're growing up."

I blushed, and started to turn away.

"Oh, hey, that's a compliment. Now get your scrawny ass over here and help me move this, squirt."

"And then this table could get shoved over there," Cherys called out from the other side of the room.

***

Of course, the first people I looked up upon returning were Kevin and Jen. Their respective parents, being hometown friends themselves, let the two get their own apartment together. I instantly knew I'd be spending a good amount of time at their place.

"At least till you find another hot girlfriend and start living in her bed," Kevin deadpanned.

We chatted for a bit, catching up. Jen was unusually quiet. And I finally asked, "What's bugging you?"

She looked at me, surprised. "And I thought I was the psych major."

"Heal thyself. Or something. You weren't doing a very good job hiding it. What's up?"

"Oh..." she paused. And then she reached into her back pocket and brought out a folded piece of paper. "I was debating whether or not I should give this to you."

She handed it over and I unfolded it, revealing the name "E-Beth" and a phone number. Jen elaborated, "She got one of those new cell phones. I can't believe that Nokia. It actually fits in your pocket. Well, if you've got big pockets."

I just stared at the number. Jen told me, "She's back in town. You should call her up."

I looked up. "You don't think I should wait until she calls me? The number to the apartment hasn't changed."

Jen shrugged. "Up to you."

We hung out for a bit, and then Jen invited me to stick around for dinner. She had a plan to cook more often for the two of them, a notion that Kevin absolutely adored. He wasn't big on dorm food.

"Kevin claims my cooking is the best he's ever had. Personally, I think he's just trying to get into my pants. So I need a second opinion."

"Hey, you make it, I'll take it," I smiled.

"Dude, she really IS good," Kevin promised. Turned out, he wasn't exaggerating. Dinner was delicious.

Sometime around 10pm that night, I sat in my room, staring blankly at my computer monitor in it's OFF position. I held E-Beth's phone number in my hand. She hadn't called me.

I tried to put it out of my head. I'd gotten used to not thinking about her over the summer. But now, knowing she was close by in the town somewhere, knowing I had an actual way of contacting her, was driving me nuts.

A low moan floated through the walls. My hearing sharpened, and then I realized it was Cherys' voice, deep into the throes of passion. I felt a strange sense of déjà vu. Just arrived back on campus and back into a shared room, of course they would want to express their physical intimacy. But whether coincidence or not, I found the girls' lovemaking to be just the tonic I needed to soothe my tortured mind.

Automatically, I stared at the ceiling and grabbed the box of tissues on my night stand. The vision of their two bodies came easily to me. And half in memory and half in fantasy, I watched them make love to each other in my mind's eye while I imagined E-Beth was riding my cock, her heavy tits bouncing up and down enticingly. E-Beth was spewing a variety of nasty phrases, ordering me to cum in her and fuck her harder, only it was Ellie's dirty mouth and naughty voice. And as I looked up, I saw Cherys' iridescent eyes and silky hair neatly framing her face.

I let my mind drift away, lolling my head back and reclining at my desk chair, my hips dangerously close to slipping off the seat. And when I finally came, my left hand and the tissues caught my release, even as I dreamed I was spurting heavy gobs of cum into HER...

Whoever "HER" was...

***

I overslept. Not the greatest thing to do on the first day of school. I barely had enough time to race out and stagger half-asleep into my first class. But afterwards, I knew I had a good amount of time before my 3pm afternoon class.

Kevin invited me to grab lunch with him, now that we were no longer on dorm meal plans at all. But I waved him off. "Sorry. There's a phone call I've got to make."

He nodded in understanding and tossed off a, "Laters, dude."

I got back to my apartment and went straight to the phone. Fortunately, the place was empty. I wasn't sure if I could handle making the call if either Danielle or Cherys were around to eavesdrop.

It rang twice before she picked up. "David?" came the question immediately.

"Yeah," I answered, caught off guard. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Oh, these things have some sort of caller ID built into them. I programmed in your apartment, so this thing read 'David's Apt' when you called. So I'm guessing Jen got you my number?"

"Yeah, yeah she did." I'd had a neatly scripted plan. But after that little exchange, I'd completely forgotten what it was or where it started. "Uh, I was wondering if you had plans for lunch. It's been a while, and I just wanted to catch up."

"That'd be great." Her words were upbeat, but her tone was still nervously wary. "Why don't you come to my new place? We got a house over on 12th Street."

"I'll be right there."

I stopped at the mirror to make sure I was presentable. I didn't want to look unkempt in front of E-Beth. And then after a ten minute walk, I was outside a quaint four-bedroom house. It wasn't in the greatest shape, but it wasn't falling apart either and seemed perfect for a bunch of college friends. I rang the doorbell, and to my surprise, Amber answered the door.

She was just as pretty as ever, now twenty and starting to get accustomed to her young adult maturity instead of pretentious teenage snobbery. She wore a tight, pink polo shirt and a short summer skirt. She'd also cut her blonde hair shorter, well above her shoulders and with some long bangs brushed over to one side, framing her angular face quite nicely. "Hi David. You're looking good," she smiled, showing off a perfect row of white teeth.

"Hi Amber. You're looking great yourself," I answered with complete sincerity.

She actually stepped forward and hugged me. Nothing flirtatious, just a hug between friends. But it was a first for us. Amber seemed to stand there and smile at me for a second, but then she stepped aside and waved me in. "E-Beth's in the kitchen."

Amber closed the door behind me and followed me towards the kitchen. I wondered if she was going to stay and listen in. I supposed it didn't matter; Amber had been there for E-Beth's and my 'break-up' conversation.

I walked into the kitchen and E-Beth was just finishing up some pasta. She was casually dressed in a baby T-shirt and some loose cotton skirt, immediately drawing my attention downwards to her tanned legs. Her long, dark hair was held back with a light colored headband. Nothing fancy, nothing designed to impress. Just a girl being casual around the house.

E-Beth turned and saw me. "You're just in time." She pulled the pot off the stove and yelled, "GIRLS! Lunch is ready!"

A minute later, two of E-Beth's and Amber's mutual friends came in: Phyllis, a tall brunette, and Diane, a short Chinese pixie. They said 'hi' politely and then started digging in. There were five places at their table, and I started to wonder if I was supposed to get into this deep and meaningful conversation with three people watching us.

It turned out, E-Beth had no intention of starting that kind of conversation right away, and I wasn't about to bring it up. In retrospect, it was the perfect plan.

The five of us hung out and chatted over lunch. The four girls had mostly exchanged their 'what did you do over the summer' stories already. But girls can talk forever and the entire summers had not yet been rehashed. Plus, as the new guy, there were questions for me.

And of course, as the only one who spent the entire summer AWAY from their hometown, everyone wanted the scoop on E-Beth's internship.

"Ooh, tell us more about Jake!"

"Jake? Who's Jake?" I instantly asked, more than casual curiosity evident in my voice.

E-Beth blushed and hesitated, clearly uncomfortable with that particular subject in front of me. Amber flashed me a look, her eyes widening and obviously indicating that it was my duty to enforce the 'friends' agreement.

"Hey, I'm just curious," I told E-Beth. "We broke up. There's nothing to be jealous about."

"Yeah," Diane chimed in. "You told us last night you'd spill the juicy details. So spill."

"Jake... Jake was fun. But it was just for the summer."

"Was he cute?" Phyllis asked.

"Of course," E-Beth blushed. "Why bother having a summer fling if he's not cute?" She was starting to loosen up. I couldn't imagine nerd-E-Beth ever making a comment like that.

"How far did he get?" Amber asked pointedly.

E-Beth instantly looked over at me and then back at Amber.

"Psh, forget David," Amber answered, waving at me. "We talked about this. Just think of him like one of the girls. What, like you two have any secrets?"

As I looked back and forth between them, I wondered if this wasn't more Amber's idea than E-Beth's. But hey, it was their idea of therapy. And I was indeed curious. "Anything you did, I'm cool with it," I told E-Beth seriously.