All Comments on 'The Descending of Jessica Ch. 02'

Don't stop writing, these stories put me right where you were. It's so real and exciting can't wait to read Ch 3. You are an excellent writer.

Loved her preforming a Stomp dance on Danny's face and genitalia. And the rounds of applause she got for the act. You write a good story and I am enjoying it very much. Please do not stop

5 stars again

Love your word pictures and the way you develop your characters. I have one criticism that I hope is constructive. It seemed your paragraphs ran long where you described the action between Brent and Jessica. I've run into the problem in my own writing. There is a lot of movement during the sex descriptions and it can run together if not careful.

I debate a lot after proofing my sex scenes to decide where to "cut" a paragraph to allow the reader to absorb what they just read and prepare them for the next (and hopefully more intense) movement. Sometimes I chop it all up so much I have to reconnect it to try it again. lol.

I hope you receive my feedback in the loving way that I offer it. You are a terrific writer and I am learning a lot from you. Someday I will get enough nerve to publish some of my stories here. :-P

Thanks Terri, that is something I've struggled with. My sentences tend to run on, which aggravates the long paragraph problem even more. I look forward to reading your work!

Keep up the good work. Your writing is amazing and good. I look forward to the next tale in this series

Generally well put together, but some silly spelling and grammar mistakes.Hopefully, they will improve?

Thanks! When this was published I wasn't working with an editor yet, so hopefully it has improved! I hope you will read the rest of the story and let me know what you think!