The Descending of Jessica Ch. 12

When I got downstairs, Ron was awake and watching an old movie. It was about 3 am or so. I'm not sure. I almost turned away to go to the great room, but he saw me out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey, Tiger, what you doing up so..... have you been crying?"

My mascara and red eyes had given me away, but I got choked up and couldn't respond as my eyes watered more.

"Come here. What's wrong?" he asked softly.

I sat beside Ron and he pulled me closely as I began to cry openly.

"I can't be a wife right now and," was all I got out between my sobs.

"What do you mean? Of course you're a wife. We had a ceremony and everything. I've got the receipts upstairs," he joked, then became serious. "Are you having doubts?"

"No! I mean, no, I love Brent. I want to be married to Brent, but I can't, you know, I can't be a wife right now."

"You mean.... I'm not following you. Why can't you be a wife?"

"Because!"

"Uh, because...."

"Oh, maybe you don't know. I can't uh...have relations. The doctors don't think I'm in good enough health to and, I mean,,,, I can't be a wife like Brent deserves," I finally choked it out. Now Ron at least knew what a failure I was. Maybe he would understand, as he had with so many problems I had faced the last few years. Ron was always the one that understood.

"Jessie, honey, I'm confused. I thought you and Brent were sexually active since, well, since early last summer."

"Uh, we were," I admitted through my tears.

"Well,, uh, did you tell him after the engagement you would not have sex until you were married or something?" he asked as he dabbed my cheeks with a tissue.

"Huh? No, of course not."

"So until the accident, at least, you two had slept together whenever you felt like it?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"And you never cut him off or denied him?"

"No, I love him. I would never do that unless I was, you know, physically unable."

"Like you are now?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Sort of."

"So to recap, Brent and you had sex whenever you wanted, and you never told him 'no', and he didn't have to wait until marriage to be with you that way?"

"No, but..."

"Then it doesn't sound to me like he married you so you two could have sex. Does it sound that way to you?"

"No, but..... No, I guess not."

"So, you two probably got married because you're young and in love and looking forward to spending your lives together, right?"

"Well yeah, but, I mean, it's our wedding night and..."

"Jessie," he interrupted "from now on, they're all your wedding nights. This just happens to be the first one. You're going to have a lot more. So find the joy and happiness in each. Tonight, that joy should be that you're starting a great adventure together. Now, dry those eyes and go back to your husband. He loves you. And don't ever tell anyone you spent your wedding night crying with your father on the couch. That would be really embarrassing to explain to my grandkids."

I thought about what Ron said and, as usual, he was right. I blew my nose, wiped my eyes and kissed him on the cheek as we embraced. Then I snuck back up the stairs to my, well, our room. I slid between the covers and laid my head back on Brent's chest and went finally to sleep.

The next morning, I, after smooches, breakfast, showers and more smooches was to visit our new home. I felt horrible, and the cramps were a bitch, plus Brent awoke with an erection he wouldn't allow me to take care of even orally, and that led to another disappointment for us both. I could not wait to be cleared by the doctor. I missed being with him and having him so close was torture. But let's skip ahead some. You know how I feel already. I was coping with the state of our marriage, but his boner was a reminder of my failure. I know he didn't marry me for sex, and that made me happy, but having sex would be the icing on the cake. Oh well, the next Friday I would be back at the doctor, and that time of the month should be passed. So, perhaps, then I would be cleared for nocturnal play.

Carolyn rode with us to check out the new place, and sat up front with us. Brent asked to drive again, and I sat in the middle next to him. This was nice, but I still hadn't driven my new truck and was getting annoyed at that, too. When we arrived, the home was everything I had hoped for. Our side was slightly larger and had three bedrooms, two with baths, so Brat would have a home away from home. The other we would use for an office/study area. It had a decent sized kitchen with older appliances but they appeared to be in good shape, and a large living room. Even the closets were large, which was nice given that it would have to hold both Brent and my wardrobes. Allison seemed bent on replenishing both. On Carolyn's side, it had two bedrooms and one bath, as well as a kitchen and living room, and she was pleased to not be living in the dorm. Several times, she pulled me aside to make sure I really wanted to share the house with her, given our past and our newlywed status. Each time, Brent came in and interrupted. He reassured her that if he wasn't there and something happened to me, he wanted someone who cared to watch out for me. He made it clear that he wasn't threatened by Carolyn and I being close, and this was of great comfort to all of us as we moved forward.

Next, we decided to venture out to a few second hand furniture stores to attempt to furnish our places. As I walked to the driver's side out of habit, Brent cut me off again, asking if he could drive. It was time to find out what this was about as it was seriously irritating me.

"Are you worried I've forgotten how or am going to have a relapse or something?" I demanded, and my sternness took him aback and embarrassed Carolyn.

"No, honey, no. It's not that," he said.

"Well what is it? I know my way around town better than you, why don't you want me to drive?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

"No, I want to drive. I haven't been able to, yet, because you keep stopping me. If there is a problem..."

"Carolyn," he asked, "could you excuse us a sec?"

Carolyn nodded and stepped back inside, claiming with a smile she wanted to check on curtain measurements in the bathroom, which was bullshit, of course. She just didn't want to be around when we had our first argument and clearly I was grumpy. I don't blame her for taking off. I would do the same.

"Jessie, I haven't ever told you much about my parents, have I?"

"No, but what does that have to do with..."

"Well, its probably stupid, I guess, but the only memory I have of my father, when I was little before he died, was him driving to the airport to ship out. I don't remember much else, but, well, I remember he drove. My father drove. Mom, well, she didn't until after he was gone. And it just, well, it just makes me feel more like a husband if I'm, well... It's dumb, I guess," Brent confessed.

"So, you think since you're my husband you should drive when we go somewhere together because that's what you think husbands are supposed to do?"

"Well, it just, you know, feels right. It's dumb, I know, but..."

"Okay, you can drive me," I said with a smile, "but I'm going to drive myself when I want to go somewhere. Like shopping and to the grocery store and class and such. Okay?"

"Okay, thanks, sweetheart." He wrapped his arms around me.

"You just have to tell me these things, Brent. I don't mind you being my driver, if it makes you feel good," I said as our lips met.

Why am I telling you this? Well I guess it's the first little problem we talked out since we got married and, after that, everything just started working.

We shopped with Carolyn all afternoon but only made lists of things we needed. Then went back to the new house and began thinking of paint and decor schemes and made lists about this, too. Finally, as darkness approached, we returned to Allison and Ron's to face the collective scorn of both Allison, who expected to be involved in furnishing the place, and Brat, who expected to be at my side until I returned to school. All in all, the first day of married life went very satisfactorily.

The next day, and for the rest of the week, a pattern developed. In the morning and evening, I hit the treadmill. Each time, I increased my duration and heart rate and I became stronger and stronger. It was too cold and rainy to run outside, and I didn't want to be away from home if I had some sort of problem. Then it was off to work on the new place, with Allison, Carolyn and I directing poor Brent in all the tasks before him. Under protest, I was exempted from any physical labor. But I finally got to drive the truck as Allison and I ran the myriad of errands necessary to buy paint, then buy brushes, drop cloths and tape, then more paint. Finally towards the end of the week, when the painting and scrubbing seemed only half done, Allison diverted one of our hardware store runs to a local "rooms to go" and purchased, over my protests, a bedroom suite and living room suite for us. She then dragged me to a big box home store to stock the kitchen with pots, pans, cutlery, gadgets and the like to supply the kitchen, as well as more towels and wash cloths and linens. It was after dark when we returned, and both Brent and Carolyn were exhausted from painting and scrubbing. We had the truck half unloaded before Brent noticed I was helping and made me stop carrying bags.

Friday morning, Allison and I dropped off Brent, Carolyn and Sarah at the new home. Sarah was now helping as she was able and generally just handing things to Brent, or assisting Carolyn in scrubbing and organizing. School would not start for another week for any of us, but every time we thought we were almost done, we would find another new project to contend with. Carolyn's folks were coming down from Ohio on Saturday and bringing a U Haul of furniture for her and I looked forward to meeting them at last. After dropping them off, though, Allison and I went to the doctor's office for my stress test and MRI. Brent had wanted to go, but I talked him out of it. I really wanted him there, but at the same time didn't. If the news was bad, I would rather tell him myself that we would have to wait longer. And if it was really bad, well, I definitely wanted to tell him myself that he would be a widower, or worse, married to an asexual wife. I know he was nervous. But I think to keep me from being so, he acted as though the tests were no big deal so as to not worry me. I wasn't fooled by his casual demeanor towards them. He was as scared as I was, but his nonchalance gave me the leverage to talk him into working on the house so Carolyn's parents would be impressed.

Donna met Allison and me at the doctors, and waited with her while I got a full physical, then the treadmill, then the MRI. I was nervous, too, and I will spare you the details.

I passed.

Allison and Donna were in the waiting area when I came out, their eyes filled with trepidation.

"Well?" Donna finally asked.

"Your daughter is perfectly normal, other than some nerve damage in her left hand, and it is safe to resume her normal activities," I smiled.

"Brent will be glad about that," Allison said, almost whispering, then continued aloud "Well Donna, you want to hit the mall with us? I think we need to complete Jessie's wedding ensemble now."

"What?" I asked.

"You don't want to wear something for your first time with your husband that he's seen before, do you?" Donna asked with a mischievous smile.

"My mothers are so weird," I deadpanned.

"We get it from our daughter," Donna smirked. Hearing my biological mom refer to me as "our daughter" in regards to her and my foster mom, Allison, filled my heart with joy as it told me she was comfortable with the established relationships. This would probably not be a big deal to most people, but most people would not have two mothers they loved very much and who loved them back.

First stop was a salon for a couple hours of primping, a facial, cut, set and styling, and a waxing. Fuck, I had forgotten how much that shit hurts! Then to a lingerie shop for a corset, thong and thigh highs. Allison insisted I would not need much more, and Donna concurred. A new white cashmere sweater dress that was quite form fitting, and stunningly beautiful just hanging on the rack, was found, followed by matching heels. Sometime during all this, Allison had booked us a room in the nearby capital and made dinner reservations for Brent and me, and texted Carolyn to keep Brent calm and distracted as we were shopping.

We stored our purchases in the truck, then returned around 4 to the house to find Brat being bratty, Brent being tired and clearly worried, and Carolyn at her wit's end. Her folks would be there in the morning and, to her mind, the house needed so much more work. Actually, other than the absence of furniture and drapery, she and Brent had done a marvelous job. The place was spotless on both sides and all the walls that needed it had fresh paint in warm colors. All the tape had been pulled and all the sills and frames painted, as well as the moldings. Honestly, I couldn't have thought of anything else to do until the furniture arrived, which would occur the next day.

Allison asked Carolyn if she needed any help, to which she replied "Not today. I'm exhausted, but thanks!"

"No," Allison said. "I mean with furnishings and such. I mean, do you have a way to get..."

"Oh! No!" Carolyn interrupted, "Thanks, but, well, I guess I didn't tell you, my dad owns a furniture store back home. They're bringing me everything I need tomorrow. You're so sweet to ask though," she smiled.

"Oh good! I've been worried about that! Well, Ron and Brent will be here to help them unload." Allison said.

"No worries. They're bringing my brothers, too. So, we can help you guys, too!"

"The company is supposed to move everything in for Brent and Jessie. So great, we're all set."

"So, we have a slack day tomorrow, then. Great!" Brent said.

"Not hardly. After they leave, Jessie will probably want you to rearrange everything," Allison laughed.

"And if she forgets to, I'll remind her," Donna quipped. Now they were making jokes together. I was really loving having two moms.

This was all good, but I had more important things on my mind. We went home, with Brent driving. He had not asked how the doctor went, but I knew he would as soon as we were alone. Fortunately, when we arrived Allison made sure we were never really alone. As I hugged Donna bye, Allison asked Brent to help her move some things in the garage with the excuse of looking for a surprise for the house while I quickly readied an overnight bag for Brent and me that I snuck over to the truck. Then, after I quickly showered and dressed, he returned with Allison to our room. I looked like a million bucks, if I do say so myself. Brent seemed star struck for a moment.

"Are you going to get ready?" I asked.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, Allison, didn't you tell him? They're taking us to Morton's tonight. You need to take a shower and get dressed. And wear a jacket. But you don't need a tie there," I said as Allison and I swept from the room, leaving him in silence.

"And hurry!" Allison said for good measure as we went down the stairs. She gave me a wink and scooted Brat off. Carolyn and I talked for a minute but she was exhausted. I was able to tell her that my health was now considered basically normal, that I could get back to a normal routine so long as I paced myself. I also got a rough idea of what time to expect her family the next day.

"Good. I suck at hanging curtains and you're going to help. And I've got a lot of other stuff you can finally help with, you bitch!" she grinned. We heard the water turn off and knew Brent would be down in a few. The plan was to pretend that everyone had left and we were to meet them, at least that was the plan until we got on the road, so it was important that no one be downstairs except me. I waited on the couch with my purse and keys in hand, and a few minutes later my husband came down the stairs in a hurry.

"Everyone else leave?"

"Yeah, we have to meet them later. Let's go!" I said, handing him the keys.

"Wait, you haven't told me about the doctor, what did.."

"I'll tell you on the way. Come on, we don't want to keep them waiting. The reservations will run out. Let's go," I implored as I slid my coat on. Brent came along without protest.

As we got outside he asked, "Why is Mom's Mercedes still in the drive?"

"Gee, Brent, did you ever think you're not the only husband that likes to drive his wife around?" I said, which was true in so far as it went. Ron did usually drive. Ron also usually worked until six doing paperwork for his chain of offices and his other business concerns on Friday, too, but Brent did not have time to put that together before we were pulling out of the driveway.

We got to the community gate and he finally asked, "So what did Rick say? Are you okay and all?"

"I didn't see Rick. I saw a radiologist and another doctor. Riley, I think. He has my case, now."

"Well, what did they say?" he asked, his voice more worried.

"You want the short version or the long version?" I asked.

"Just, well, the short. Then the long."

"Okay, short version, you can fuck my brains out tonight. Long version, I've got some nerve damage in my left hand, but nothing serious. It will interfere with my piano playing, but I don't know how to play piano anyway so it shouldn't be a problem at all. Overall, I'm in good health. I have to pace myself, keep exercising daily, and watch my fat intake. So no more Big Macs and Whoppers, and, lets see, oh yes, you can fuck my brains out tonight, and pretty much every other night. I should be alive for a long time and you're stuck with me until I die. Also, we're not meeting anyone for dinner, and after dinner we're staying at the Sheraton, and, I want to make sure to stress this point, you're going to fuck my brains out. Oh, and your wife tends to say 'fuck' a lot. Uh, I think that about covers it."

Coincidentally, we came to the stop sign where Brent first told me he didn't think of me as his sister and he was in love with me those many months before. He checked the mirrors, put the truck in neutral as no one was behind us and jumped down on the emergency brake turned towards me and pulled me close as his lips engulfed mine. I became lost in affection. After several minutes, a horn blew behind us and we were forced to move on. But for those few moments, we were as in love as anyone had ever been.

We drove on in silence as Brent deftly worked through the gears, he really was getting good with a straight drive. Not as good as me. He kept trying to pull out in first. But the truck has so much power you only need to use first when you're hauling a trailer. I had tried more than once to explain that to him, and he said that Ron had told him the same, but it wasn't natural for him yet. On this occasion, I just ignored it. The unspoken words we were thinking didn't need to be interrupted by such petty matters.

When we finally got to the interstate and merged into the relatively light traffic, Brent broke the silence.

"Can I ask you something? I mean, you don't have to answer, but I'm curious."

"Sure, honey. Ask anything. I have no secrets from you," I replied.

"I don't know if you remember, but the night of the wreck, where were you going?"

I thought back. Although that night was still hazy as to details, the big picture was clear. "Well, we started out to take Carolyn back to Tech, but stopped to eat, ran into my mother. I mean, my mother, Donna. And that's when Carolyn got the call from Steve where he confessed what had, you know, happened."

"Yeah, so..."

"Well, truth be known, I was going under the overpass so I could get on the interstate and head home when the guy hit us, and there was a culvert there we rolled into. That's almost the last thing I remember. I remember hanging upside down and smelling gas, and Carolyn asking if I was okay but I couldn't answer. I remember being on the stretcher thing and hearing Carolyn telling me I was going to be okay and not to die, and when I opened my eyes, she was there but had blood all over her. I remember thinking she was dead and it was her ghost talking to me, because she looked like someone in a horror movie. The next thing I remember is Brat reading the end of The Deathly Hallows in the hospital. We were going home because Carolyn didn't want to face Tech and that shithead. But she would have been happy just going back to my dorm. So, mainly, we were going home because I needed to talk to you. I mean, well, I wanted to talk to you, and get that all straightened out and, you know, fix things, and take care of her, too, I guess."