The Experiment Ch. 03

Tuesday evening, I picked Loren up at her condo. I presented her a large bouquet of flowers at the door as I kissed her hello. As usual for our outings, she was a knock out. Even several of her neighbors stared at her as I walked this beautiful woman to my car. We drove about twenty minutes to a very intimate little French restaurant. I had arranged everything beforehand, even ordered and pre-paid. We even had a private dining room.

Loren was still in a low mood. I must admit I was unhappy to see her departure happen too, but I knew she had to take the new job and move on with her life, but during dinner we talked about everything but the job and the four of us.

Finally, I reached across the table again to hold her hands. "You know you have to make your own happiness – no one can do it for you," I told her. "Sooner or later we knew our experiment would change. We didn't know who or what would change it, but we always knew it would change." She stifled a sob. I had plenty of Kleenex in my pocket.

"Loren, remember the weekend at the cabin a year and half ago? Do you remember what you told me? You said 'Someday I'll move on, but right now I need this and I need you. I don't want you to think about the future – just think 'today' – live in the now.' Well, I've never forgotten it and it has helped me more than you'll ever know." I was starting to cry too.

I went on, "Now is your time to move on. We've given you all we can. All the signals are saying 'yes, this is it!' This isn't a marginal offer that you might turn down. This is the platinum platter of job offers. They don't come any better. Promotion. Responsibility. Pay increase. Bonus. Family. Nice people all around. Wow! Double Wow! You have to do this." Loren sobbed some more. A waiter started to come in to the private room, sized up the situation, and beat a hasty retreat.

"Then there's this," I offered, "airfares being what they are we can easily travel back and forth and see each other. This'll just become a long distance relationship – only they'll be four of us involved." Loren sobbed and sniffled, her red eyes looking at me with a pleading that made me sob too. We both were going through my supply of Kleenex.

"Each of us loves you in our own way. I know if there were ever anyone else in the world that I would want to live my life with it would be you. The three of us – John, Trish and I – each feel we've been holding you back. You needed sanctuary after your other relationship ended, but that's well past now. You are stronger than you realize. It's time to come out of hiding. You have to find more permanent footing than we offer."

I went on, clutching her hands across the table, "I thought the experiment would be enough for all of us, but I've come to realize that it short changes you and John. Trish and I have each other – we've been married for sixteen years and will remain married until we die. We always have that core relationship to fall back on. You and John are bonuses in our relationship. We never thought we'd get to love two other people so much; most people never do, and certainly never in the setting we created."

"Both you and John have talked about creating relationships like you see Trish and I have. This is the time for you to move in that direction. There's no relationship there right now, just a new job in a new locale. You can go a reinvent yourself. You'll find new friends – new lovers; one of them is just waiting for you."

"Will we miss you?" I sobbed. "Oh God, yes, more than you'll ever know." I couldn't go on I was crying so hard. Loren too was sobbing once again. The pile of used Kleenex was growing.

After that we were quiet for a while mostly staring at the empty table. Both of us kept sniffling and trying to recompose ourselves. I finally got up and moved over in a kneeling position next to Loren, hugging her to the maximum that I could. "Oh, I love you so. I will miss you, but you have to go and do this."

We stayed like that for a while – me kneeling and hugging her. Gradually our crying subsided. Then I knew it was time to leave. I'd prepaid the bill so all we had to do was slip out the side door of the room we were in and drive into the night.

I stayed with Loren that night at her place. Trish knew I'd be away; she'd even packed an overnight kit for me.

Loren and I made love – it turned out for the last time that night. There were just the two of us in the world for that night. We just cuddled and caressed, copulating over and over, finally making love just at first light. I then got up, dressed and was gone. I'd said my good bye. I didn't see her again.

Trish said that Loren came by the house the next night while I was in Washington. The two of them made love – alone for the first and last time. Trish didn't see her again after that either.

We learned from John that Loren accepted the offer on Thursday and was on a plane to SFO on Friday morning. He'd said his good byes too, also in a teary ceremony.

A few weeks later, John, Trish and I packed up her condo at her request and put things safely onto a moving van that headed west. I don't know that Loren ever came east again – although I'm sure she did. Three years later, we heard through the grapevine that she'd married a widow with three young kids. She was still the GM of her company's operations and her career was thriving.

John, Trish and I grew comfortable in our threesome. If the grandparents were watching the kids I might walk in the door from work at 7:00 or 8:00 pm to find Trish sitting on the kitchen counter being eaten out by John, or the two of them fucking in the media room, or John receiving a blow job while dinner cooked on the stove. I reveled in the wantonness of such events. Of course, other times they were just sitting there having a glass of wine and waiting for me to help start the festivities.

If John came late to the house from his work, he might find the two of us in the media room watching porn, or fucking each other's brains out, or me going down on Trish as she waited for her double fucking. Our white furry comforter was being well used.

Then, quite suddenly, the rest of our "Harrad Experiment" came to an end. John was transferred to Philadelphia. Our threesome ended.

We had a much less teary send off than we'd had with Loren. After she'd left, we all knew this would end some time. John's divorce had long since been completed. Trish and I had talked about how we were holding him back now and that he should go find something permanent. The sex was a big magnet, but Trish politely told us both before John left that his departure was the end of the experiment; it was now time for all of us to return to a more normal life – whatever that meant.

So when the time came, we were supportive of John's move and let things happen the way they appeared ready to. We lived in the 'now' for a while to get through the separation, and then we settled nicely back into suburbia and became the staid couple with kids that everyone always thought we were.

John married about seven years later. At the time, Trish and I were living in Europe on overseas assignments. We met him and his wife for dinner once when we were back in the States and they were a lovely couple. I wonder what she through about the two of us; I'm sure John had confided in her about the nature of our relationship. Nothing was said however.

I'd learned a lot in those three years. I learned I had to set the ones I loved free. I learned it was better not to try to cling to the past. I learned that I had to relish the memories of the good times with those I love and not worry about whether there will be future ones – there will be! I learned to live in the now – not trying to live in the past or worrying about the future. I learned to give love away as much and as often as I could for it always came back to me multiplied in kind. Lastly, I learned that time does wound all heels. In some other life in some other universe, our foursome still continues – ourexperimentcontinues.

Always in front of me, a constant reminder of those years is the executive pen set that John and Loren presented me with when I had that momentous promotion. I see it every day and smile.

###