All Comments on 'The Fallen One'

I spotted your new story and had to read it. I love your other stories, so I wanted to see what this one was like. Not my normal read, but it was interesting and well written. I'm not sure yet whether to believe this is real tho. All in all, good work, Lance. PeriwinklePatty69

I loved the story, it was a very hot read.

The lead character is well depicted as an arrogant egotist with pyschopathic tendencies. (leaving his wife when she is suffering form post natal depression, alienating the child from his mother, the persecution complex leading to inappropriate revenge) No problems with that, there are some great stories using that type of person as a motif. But unless this is just going to be a relentless litany of abuse it needs an element of humanity or redemption, and there are no signs or clues as to whether they will be introduced. There aren't even any signals that the author acknowledges that his lead character is such a personality.

So can I be bothered to read through the next installments to find out if this is going anywhere? No....

Tough reading, only read this at your suggestion. I totally support revenge, when someone keeps thinking new ways to fuck you over, You hurt. If you cant understand this, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN HURT, BEFORE.

You often say I wish someone would teach you a lesson, Well 'Lance' took it on himself to see she got that lesson.

crappy BS.

To drug out, to enjoy..

Ah yes, the crimes of putting on weight and not having sex certainly deserve a divorce and then torture rather than, you know, support from a supposedly loving husband. If your main character is an irredeemable villain, at least acknowledge it. Flimsy characterisation even for porn