All Comments on 'The Fate of Terra Ch. 01'

on your first story on Lit.. I was quite surprised to find AI, it's not something I have read about previously. So now that you have my attention I look forward to chapter 2. And again congrats on not just your fist story but your first series.

First time writing for pleasure so any feedback is appreciated. I've submitted chapter 2 so it should be up in a few days.

Yeah welcome to Lit. Are you aware its an erotica site? Will there be porn in the coming chapters? This computer stuff doesnt do it for me.

The site does say Literotica. However, some of the so-called "erotica"(some stuff on the site, although sexual, is not erotic, not to me anyway, so I don't read or favorite it: hint, hint Anonymous) could stand a little more "lit". I hope you keep going whether it leads to sex, erotic or otherwise, or not, is fine with me.

Yeah, Anonymous is an idiot. It said "no sex chapter" in the tagline. I liked it, though the main character strikes me as a bit of a Mr Perfect. Rich, handsome, intelligent, nice heroes give me low self esteem :o) If he has a big cock too, I may stop reading, (probably not).

Haha, I consider myself to be a computer guy too, this was really different from most stories (in a good way). I really hope you do more.

fantastic story so far. it has kept my attention.

I like it!

I LOVE IT!

I loved the references to Greek Mythology and Terminator, Have you seen War Games? It stars Ally Sheedy and Matthew Broderick, and it's more than a little dated, 1980s. I recommend you look at it, if nothing else for the historical value.

I still love it.

(Also, despite the obvious interest in his stories, I_F seems to have gone underground :( )

... why I like this story, Michael is a smartass just like me! Only took me reading this for the third time to realize it. Guess I'm just slow.

IF, I hope you someday come back and finish it. I can just picture the blackfeathered chick seeing the logo in the cargo bay someday.

Outstanding story. I hope you could write more. Your ability is fantastic. Way better than the drivel you can on Amazon of this genre.

Thanks for posting :)

I'm not sure how this got such good ratings when it seems so poorly done. That is unless the author stuffed the ballot box a couple of dozen times.

I know it's fantasy but you've asked more than a reader can give. High school hacker writes world changing AI? Hard to believe but then you put another notorious hacker in the same class AND he's a marshal arts badass who intimidates four football players. Oh, and he runs a company and is rich to boot. Why didn't you give him X-ray vision while you were at it?

The characters are thin, really thin, and the plot, if given to a good writer, might have worked out, is too riddled with outrageous improbabilities to work.

Perhaps you should give your readers more credit. We are adults and stuff like this isn't entertaining.

Oh, and let me guess, it turns out he had a 9" cock, right?

You have picked out details from a story someone put hard work into yet you won't even put a name on your complaints. I think the fact of a working independently thinking AI is a lot more unbelievable than the fact that a nerd likes to take a martial arts class. His parents have money and he has some through them jobs related to his hobby and illegal means. I don't know about you but if a person was smart enough to create an AI they are dam well smart enough to make good money even in high school. So before you get all high and mighty picking his story apart take a look at it on a whole. It's listed as Sci - Fi n fantasy ffs. If you wanted complete believability look in a different genre.

Kind of sucks that it left readers hanging without any explanation. maybe somebody else will continue the story

Hey all,

Check out the Path of the Necromancer tales, i'm going to be finishing that one before I tackle this one, or if I do. Shrugs

I'm in need of an editor who is good at turning my work into a more fun flowing style. I'm a tad stiff but i'm good at getting a story going, if not the banter per-say.

JC

A very well written story. Unfortunately the main protagonist turns into a megalomaniacal tyrant by the time you hit about chapter 13. He has no redeeming qualities, and this reader can't relate to him at all. Had to stop reading about halfway through chapter 13.

Click on my user page and continue this story on chapter 17 under my efforts

JC

Bad main character, essentially just another 'genius' who has no weaknesses completely, unrelatable and seems to excel at every angle and also has a douchebaggy try hard I don't care you lose because the author says so vibe.

Great start, got me in.

Scores 5/5

I'm on chapter 1, and a high school kid is counter-hacking state sponsored Chinese hackers and created an AI and built a custom watch to run the AI. Starting out pretty unbelievable.

Great start. Amazing how the younger generations are so much more adept at computing than us old knuckledraggers.