All Comments on 'The Fourth Wife'

Strong story. No, you don't get away that easily by asking someone to continue this tale, YOU finish this story!!! I can't wait to see what he's going to do, and what's going to happen to his brain-dead wife. My only complaint is that I don't understand how an intelligent man could have permitted the complete deterioration of his marriage and the "personality" of his wife to change so much for FIVE months without doing anything but talking!!! I'd have gotten her institutionalized. It was too much of a radical change and her hidden agenda, including her pregnancy would have come out sooner. True, she's an unfaithful idiot, but I wonder how much the trauma of rape and Stockholm syndrome play into her story...I'm very interested in seeing the outcome of this meaty story!!!

I am sure you are going to get grief over the length of your story. I have to say that I feel some of the same frustration that your male character has.

The long time that you have in between Susan coming back until the last confrontation is a bit lengthy. In the context of the story, five months with someone of whose intelligence has been stressed strongly several times, is too long.

While I am not an advocate for striking a woman, in THIS STORY, I believe it was justified. Even if she is pregnant. There is no excuse for her behavior, none. The contempt for her husband, just screams from the story. The oh, so 'Alpha Male' aspect of Henry captivating her deserves some kind of retribution.

I fervently hope that you finish this story. Do this not because of any feedback, but do this so you can do this story justice. I am sure there are some good authors who can, but you need to bring this story full circle.

i have to give you a 100. you at least made the husband make a decision and that is to leave. i think any reasonable man/woman who encounter such circumstance will not stay in such relationship.

<p>The whole story seems contrived and highly improbable. The wayward wife seems well educated, but impossibly stupid too? I would try to suspend my disbelieve on that issue, but the characters are so wooden and formal. They're charcters in a comic strip, not developed into three-dimensional people. Add to that the stilted, improbable dialogue and you have a thoroughly uninteresting story.</p>

<p>Ron123XYZ@foreveranonymous.naturally

second chapter.

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I can only see two possible conclusions:

<br><br>

1. Sue him for alienation of affection which is still a law in Utah. This also means her published thesis becomes part of the lawsuit as evidence and she would have to give testimony on both the rape and her infidelity whether she wanted to or not ... else her thesis would be invalid and yanked. She can't say in court she just made it all up. (plus DNA tests could be court ordered and enforced <i>not</i> by the local police.) The lifestyle in that town would become public and the state would have to take action: polygamy is dead against the law in Utah.

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There have been many cases of Utah prosecuting people in communities like described in this story, including taking actions about the police in those towns condoning the actions - police do have to take an oath to support the law.

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It's not clear from the story <i>why</i> she wanted to publish the thesis if she were planning on going back to the community. She is supposedly intelligent and even if her husband didn't take action, just the publishing of her thesis would lead to the end of the community.

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2. He is as mentioned a more than expert marksman. This of course leads to a natural conclusion ... the only question is <i>where</i> the guy gets shot.

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My feeling from the story is that the offending husband would get <i>much</i> more satisfaction of seeing the entire clan publicly derided and the the "leader" of the group <i>and</i> his wives (including our heroine) winding up in jail or giving testimony for reduced sentence for not reporting rape and sexual abuse of an underage child.

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The story was generally well written although it was never made clear why the husband would put up with it. It wasn't love he was showing but masochism!

<br><br>

Regards, Jack

for any real finish; they split the cunt dies justice served

Like it but don't like left hanging.

please finish it and hopefully take her to the cleaners also.

Payback is a bitch

Not a bad story, but cripes, that first 5 pages could have easily been condensed to two pages. I knew in the first couple of paragraphs that she was pregnant with the other man's baby and I ain't no summa cum laude. Why did it take him 5 months and 5 pages to figure it out?

The anxiety he was feeling would have been successfully explained in a few paragraphs. Instead it went on and on and on and on... with no resolution, no new ideas, nothing but his whinning.

Sorry, but you have the makings of a good story here but you are seriously in need of someone to tell you when enough is enough. Get an editor with guts.

The story's pacing is too slow, and the narrative drive is weak. I had to force myself to wade through the repetitive moans of the poor, miserable hubby bewailing his sorry, sad lot in life. That was annoying.

<P>

The author alleges that these two people are smart but that must be only when their brains are plugged in. The wife, desperate to do cutting edge(?) research in sociology, decides that it's better to be raped, abused, and degraded, all in the name of truth, justice and the academician way rather than say, "No thanks. I'll pass on the offer of rape and sodomy. I'd rather remain true to my husband so I'll be leaving now." Yeah, I'm buying that, as if the belief system of cultists who think God sanctions rape in the name of communal purity is worthy of serious academic study. Ethan supposedly is smarter than the average bear too except he can't figure out that his wife is knocked up by another man until months go by? Please.

<P>

The author's style is... labored, I guess. The prose is correct but reading it felt like having a root canal done. Even with anaesthesia, it's still not very pleasant. Lighten it up, slim it down, make it flow, do something, but pick up the pace in the storytelling. The four saddest words in literature aren't "what might have been", they're "it's too damn long."

<P>

There are a couple of potholes in the story's premise. While I'm no expert on Utah state law, I'm fairly certain that rapists, even a cultist whose relative is the sheriff, don't get a free pass or has law enforcement in Mormonland taken a holiday? Since the rapist's wives silently assented to the commission of the crimes, I wouldn't be surprised to discover that a case could be made for conspiracy.

<P>

Ethan Allen was a guerilla fighter in Vermont during the American Revolution. Any resemblance to furniture is completely accidental.

<P>

I consulted for a number of years in the petrochemical industry. I find the hubby's occupation interesting since supercomputer modeling software pretty much identified every drop of oil on the planet about ten years ago. I find it hard to believe that the husband would be working in oil exploration today but perhaps the story takes place earlier in time?

<P>

Decently written but not very good fiction. I thank you for your effort.

slut and put up with her shit for five months, after the first month her pc would be toast and she would be gone. The woman is crazy some would say "stockholm syndrome" but I think she went back for a missing part of her childhood. He is right she never loved her husband he was but a vehicle, financially, for her to use on her path she wanted. Her husband had a Masters degree, she did to, and she was working on a doctorate. She wasnt doing a thesis but a dissertation. I would like to see the second chapter to see that Henry drops very dead very suddenly and that dear wifey is abandoned by her husband and having no Henry to go home to finds that one divorce for adultry takes away many opportunities in the real world for a pregnant woman with a bastard child. The only thing I cant fathom is why a woman who loves the primitive and abusive society she wants to go back to finds any real need in writing a book or getting her PhD, it adds up to be a very mentally sick individual.

Keep going.. twisted, but fun..

Like other said.. you dragged it out too long, you can't let your readers know what the 'secret' is so long before your guy figures it out and then try to make us believe he is bright. Neither of the people in the story are portrayed as doing anything smart. The school would never in a million years have paid her the grant or had anything to do with illegal and immoral activity... the husband could sue the school right now and clean-up. And as others have mentioned rape is illegal in all states.... some would say, well it is hearsay... but I think we're to believe that this woman spend half a year writing it all up... mail a copy to the DA in Utah. since as I'm sure every reader here knows polygamy is illegal in Utah just as the rest of the US, and the Mormon Church stopped endorsing it in the late 1800s. So, you could have fun with this.. he can take the paper and put the rapist in jail, or if she denies the paper as being true, he can then have her jailed for fraud and theft in taking the 50K under false pretenses. either way please finish the story.

Brutally long. Length is not a problem if you go somewhere, but the first 2+ pages were endlessly repetitive. 5 months of daily abuse is also a long time in which not to draw any conclusions or take any action.

<p>

Unless she is even more stupid than portrayed, she should have anticipated this kind of treatment. She heard stories from her mother. There is published literature and TV reports of these kinds of communities. If she prepared any more than, "Oh, I think I know what I'll do today," she had to be aware of the significant possibility that she would suffer the kind of treatment she received.

<p>

Her betrayal started long before she left on her adventure. She didn't tell him what she planned. She didn't tell him of her past. She lied to him from the day they met until the day she told her romantic tale of the other MAN.

<p>

She also strung him along for the 5 months knowing in her heart she preferred Henry and, even if she didn't, her husband would never accept her betrayal. In her speech she told him that his complaining during the 5 months showed he didn't love her. Well, tell him so he doesn't waste even more time than his useless marriage to her.

<p>

He wants revenge? Take her book to the media. Pursue it relentlessly. Utah government officials refuse to take any action on rape, torture and child rape in the face of published first-person accounts. TV stations love that kind of story. She won't get to enjoy Henry while he spends life in prison. None of the other wives will testify so they'll likely get long sentences as well for conspiracy. Forget alienation of affections. What will he win, a collection of farm animals?

<p>

Some interesting ideas. But the repetitive recriminations and indecision, and some unintelligent thinking from supposedly smart people drags the story down.

truly fascinating. I have read most of your other readers stupid comments and I agree that is just what they are. Just like Henry they are stupid arrogrant macho assholes who haven't the grey matter to understand a story about the atrocities that go on in the communities described in the story. I know. I have been there and it is truly the worst situation for women in the world. Men like Henry should be stood up at a post and shot. Executed like they executed several of the women whom I knew personally. Keep going with the story Doc. I really look forward to the second part. Ole Reb, Author on Erotic stories.com

Please, please, let the husband get his retribution. Please let him do something ruthless to Henry to get his revenge!

I think Susan deserves some kind of special treatment also. Your basic story is good but its way to drawn out. Please don't make us wait too long for the next installment. Thanks.

...that the socalled "police" or sheriff is elected by the inhabitant of a region and corrupt as hell, so that rapers and bigamists, child-rapers and incestuos related persons won't go to jail. But well written and I'm curious about the revenge. So please don't leave us here waiting too long.

While just a tad long..still a ripping read of emotions, deceit and ultimate revenge..?

A partner deceived and betrayed and the cause due to be dealt with.

How does an educated woman fall for such a society..? Just take a look at history to see how such things happen...and are ignored or encouraged by some societies..Many people perceived to be intelligent have assisted or supported dictatorships that thrived on inhumanity.

An educated man reacting in the most natural and basic ways of early man's primative society...wanting to challenge and destroy his rival Alpha Male...

A real play on the social studies aspect that the thesis wanted to study...

The most tiresome, repetitious, verbose, listless collection of lamentations I have seen. Two full pages of it and no story yet. It’s yet again the wimp (maybe the wimpiest) script from the husband humiliation variety. My point is that by the end of the second page you should have moved already well into the developments which move the story forward from the initial situation at the beginning (that is if you wish to retain the attention, not to mention the presence of the readers). It’s called the middle or the beginning of the actual story. Try intense editing.

Ethan needs to get some revenge on Susan as well as Henry. The one driving force in her life the last several years is her pursuit of her Ph.D. I think Ethan should by hook or by crook, get the school to reject her research project thus not allowing her to get her degree. This would shatter her and at least help Ethan to get over her...

Your abilities are evident and your intentions are clear as well as appreciated in a non-wimp way. Now you will continue to struggle to find a succinct way to tell an interesting story that can arouse and or entertain.<P>

It ain't easy as many here will and have told you already - but you knew that going in didn't you.<P>

So, take comfort in the fact that we need more writers like you who choose to write to reality and life and it's possibles. To grow through the comments well intentioned or not.<P>

Take the constructive vs the not and plow on if you wish to grow. I sense you want to and I / most want to support you though your transition.<P>

Lets summarize what I think the reader thoughts are so far. The fact that we knew but our hero didn't was painful to wade through. It didn't build the story's credibility. Our reaction to the hero didn't help us feel warm of you or the story regardless of your somewhat clear intentions and thankful normal male / human mindset.<P>

You have a great editor - listen to him not just about the words but the reality and anticipated flow of your purpose and plot path.<P>

Nuff. You are appreciated and we await your anticipated growth.

With Regard

I know I had to just skim the first half of the story as it was so much of the same or not important, and I became so bored. We all assumed she was pregnant and the lengthy rest didn’t really add to the heart of the story. The confrontation is when the story picked up again.<p>You should write your ending and go on to your next effort. You are a good writer and I look forward to more stories by you.<p>Do not get discouraged by we the readers comments as it is always the things we find less appealing we comment on. Some only comment on stories like it was from a publishing house and a novel they paid for and up for a Pulitzer. Again please keep writing as you have good ideas and the extreme effort you have given proves you are a man who should be writing stories.<p>Thank you for the entertainment<p>Respectfully<p>PT

Credit should be given for an unusual plot line. I don't recall reading about a religious cult which practices polygamy in any of the LW stories in the past. Unfortunately the plot devolved into a more typical "wife is slave to monster cock" story which we have seen all to often.*****The first two and one half pages were indeed very tedious. The author seemed to have a check list of items about the couple that he wanted to include in the story. But these items got in the way of the story and prevented the author from getting into the meat of his tale.*****RealDoc should write a Part 2 and give us his ending, keeping in mind that some brevity is warrented as well as punching up the story by putting more emotion into the dialogue.

There were quite a few omissions of words that caused pause in reading.. The man is awfully slow in his thinking about certain facts.. As soon as her balloon attire was revealed along with her morning sickness it was easily discernable that she was pregnant.. Took him two more pages and months to figure it out---accidently.. Getting rid of her was a no brainer.. She obviously cared very little for him regardless of her words of love.. The only thing left for him to be a man again is the extraction of revenge on Henry.. I am wondering how he plans to do that.. I don't think financially is a route as I doubt he has that much in finances.. Beating him up is satisfying but I doubt he can do that.. It is what Henry, and the rest of that male clan, need, though.. So, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.. I want to see just how he gets his justice.

'"For this reason," she stated simply, "I have put a lock on the den door to insure that I'm not disturbed, so please don't bother me when I'm working." <P> I saw no need for a lock as I would honor her reasonable request without need for a lock. I saw no need to lock me out. I told her that.' <P> No disturbances at all is not a reasonable request. The lock? A MAN doesn't tell his wife she doesn't need to lock him out of a room in his own house. He tells her she will NOT lock him out of a room in his own house. If she does anyway, he breaks the door down and the marriage is over then and there. The rest of the story is anti-climactic after this. Thanks for writing. Phil

I found this story to be very interesting. I also found it

to be (as others have noted) very slow in development. I

think that was an attempt to build suspense, and it was

somewhat effective. As far as that goes, some comments:

1. It's hard to credit that the husband would let his wife

continue in total shunning for five months without some

kind of break. Why not consult the professor earlier?

2. The whole "changed lifestyle" bit should have raised a

red flag immediately . I can credit two-three WEEKS of

a husband allowing his wife that kind of behavior

without him searching for the truth, but not five

months.

3. A detail - I don't think the advisor is ever the chair

of the thesis committee, because that becomes a

conflict of interest

4. I found the oversized, leonine, violent polygamist

entirely too "over the top" to be believable. As far as

I know as an outsider, most of the fundamentalist

Mormons (there, i said it) are not violent oppressors.

Of course, that may be mostly the wife's fantasy.

5. Clearly we are supposed to believe in some kind of

conspiracy or other oddity involving the advisor and

the polygamists - he's entirely too unmoved by the tale

of the wife and her defilement and her "recovering

evidence" style of thesis writing. It's just too risky,

though.

6. What sort of academics approve a thesis based entirely

on anecdotal evidence (no notebook, no recordings) and

that primarily revolves around crimes and lurid sex?

I suppose it's possible that the thesis is entirely a

figment of her imagination, and the Professor is a

conspirator in getting her back to Utah. But that such

a thesis, drawn from memory by a woman who describes

her rape and kidnapping, is hard to credit.

Which brings us to the point: it's really clear that the

woman was primarily motivated by the desire to return to her

original "family," and used the research idea to get in a

position to rejoin them. It's very likely that she was only

partly aware of this impulse, and her departure represents

her divided soul wanting escape, fame, prestige, and wealth.

In either case, she's a total wreck, and the husband did the

right thing by walking away.

In fact my advice to him would be to just walk away - the

only way to get real closure would be to hire tough enough lawyers to get the Professor charged as a corespondent in a

civil suit, and get Federal prosecutors involved in

capturing the polygamist, using the Professor and her thesis

as evidence. Lengthy, dangerous, and expensive. But it would

serve the cause of justice.

husbands here in Lit land put up with ANY --- and I mean ANY thing. Most cry like babies, begging not to be dumped even after they've learned their wives have been fucking around for decades, having multiple kids by other men! <p>

in other words, these "husbands" here are you most loving, patient, understanding, and creame pie loving husbands! Even those left, they waited patiently for years and then go down on their knees, when the women lovers/fuckers dumbed their asses, with the former husbands crying, "Oh, honey, thank you for allowing me back into your life again; I could never be happy without you.... Just don't kick me out again... I don't like it but it's okay if you fuck around a bit...... just don't be too blatant about it, okay?"

I agree with the many commentators who complain about the length of this offering. It could have achieved the same result with a reduction of 25-50% of the words used.<BR>

I strongly agree with Tigger about the lock - that part of the story really grated with me. Not that I would, but if I tried that the lock would last a few seconds at most. <B>If you need to lock a spouse out of part of your life, they are no longer a spouse!</B><BR>

I won't go back to check, but while reading I felt there were several reprises of the earlier information - as if the author rehashed the previous bit to remind himself where he was in the story before continuing.<BR>

Overall a fair enough effort, but I'll be truly disappointed if we get an over-the-top revenge episode as the next part.

I enjoyed your story. You are quite a talented writer. My hunch is you have some post graduate experience, and it shows in your writing. I suspect you wrote the way you did because the husband was an academic. However, the long, dry stretches didn't work so well in this format. I am looking forward to reading the conclusion. You have talent, don't let the criticism stop you from continuing to write and finishing this story.

Very interesting story. I admit, maybe a bit long, but on the other hand it is also to short.

For me the main problem was the character building of the wife. The well known the "Stockholm syndrom" that might have been the basis for her action (the hostage can show signs of having feelings of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger (or at least risk) in which the hostage has been placed ... from Wikipedia)... but that is not to clear. It would also have been interesting to know if her childhood would impact on her later actions with her husband. It sounds somewhat shallow that it is only a "monster cock" and some sub/dom that is the basis that make her change her lifestyle. (Although it is possible).

It is also an option that she is living in a fantasy world where her memories are playing tricks with her after her home comming.

A LOT of interesting possibilities ... and therefore as I said ... the story might be too SHORT.

The Husband´s reactions are more logical. I do not agree that it should only take a short time before he takes action.

Overall very interesting and opens up a lot of questions and I am looking forward to see the end of the story.

Keep up the good work!

it was alittle long but enjoyed . like see them get whats coming to them . need to finish the story and write some more thank you.

Eagerly awaiting the sequel!

I'll add my two cents worth to that of previous readers by saying, well done, but the hero seemed a little slow on acting and not putting up with her reluctance to be intimate with him. In retribution for her actions I wonder why he didn't confiscate and destroy her computer and records for her thesis? It seems to me that would be a fitting revenge against her. Then he could deal with Henry at his leisure.

and well written, but in this first section everything was kind of obvious to me after the title and the first five lines. So surprises do not weigh in my evaluation. There is a problem with missing words but actually you are doing much better at avoiding this trap than many of your critics including this one. You have style and write both monologue and description very well. There was little dialog which is often the weak point that I see in new writers. If you keep at it we will have someone to watch.

The only obvious problem is why the husband did not figure all this out in the first month! He is supposed to very intelligent too!

Some anons say the wife was unbelievable b/c she's educated and still stupid. Hey remember the astronaut lady who put on a depends and drove from Texas to Florida to assault her boyfriends other lover. Go figure, education does nothing for people acting and doing what's morally correct. Emotions will overrule common sense almost every time. Your a good writer, but please shorten your stories. Thanks for writing,Luis

i read the first half of page 1 and got the idea that he needs a lawyer. i skimmed another 1 1/2 pages and then skipped to the last paragraph on chapter 6 where he is looking for lawyer. he's kinda slow.somebody let me know if anything happened in-between.

Not denying any of the polygamous community stuff, but the academic stuff is way, way off. I'm surprised I noticed only one other comment about the university's part (and that was wrong: a department chair can certainly be a thesis committee chair without conflict of interest). </p>

It is wholly unrealistic that a minimum of a dozen people (including every professor and grad student in the department) would chose to commit professional suicide in this way. </p>

(1) No ethical committee would allow a student to "participate" in such a community and claim to be impartial. If they wouldn’t approve it "a priori" then they wouldn’t approve it. (It’s called “fruit of the poisonous tree.“) Her data are now useless. </p>

(2) No ethical refereed journal would publish such research. Her dissertation is now useless.</p>

(3) No ethical accreditation body would continue to list such a university. Every PhD student at that graduate school is now screwed over and wasted the last few years of their lives. Their future degrees are now useless. </p>

(4) She (and, by his approval, her PI) violated the terms of her grant by acting unethically. The school would have to refund <b>all</b> the money (even what has already been spent) to the grant agency and, very likely, would never again be allowed to receive a grant <b>in any discipline whatsoever</b>, not just sociology. The professors in anthropology, chemistry, geology, medicine, etc. are gonna sit by and let that happen? Please. Even at a small state university, that's likely to be hundreds of millions of dollars and could trigger a legislative takeover of the university. At a private college, that would likely force the college to close. </p>

(5) All of the untenured professors involved would fired, no questions. (Forget ethics, they cost the university money!) The tenured faculty could be fired, though it is a lengthier process. Even if they stay, they would not be able to conduct funded or publishable research. Expect the forced resignations to reach up to the dean, provost and presidential level. Their positions are now useless, and good luck finding a new one. </p>

(6) Even if there was a vast in-house conspiracy, all it takes is for one professor at a competing university to see the <b>publicly available</b> thesis and bring a complaint. Whether its moral indignation or an axe to grind, someone would complain. </p>

(7) They have all opened up the university to multimullion dollar lawsuits (plural!) from the husband, the wife, and the federal government. All the committee members and the dean of the graduate school could be sued individually as well. Merely defending against those would cost upwards of $500/hr in lawyers' fees. Defense lawyers don’t take cases on contingency. </p>

(6) The press would have a field day with this. It will be a national front page/lead story, especially since it involves lots of uncommon sex practices and official corruption. Say good-bye to next year's students, both undergrad and grad. </p>

(7) Alumni won't give money to a scandal-ridden school with declining enrollment. Add this to (6) and the university's budget has just been gutted. </p>

(8) Even if everyone in her department was an amoral scumbag, all the money and reputation involved would make sure that they toe the ethical line. That's why the checks and balances are there (they don't rely on the good nature of people). Especially since there is no way they could hide this since <b>every dissertation becomes a public record</b> in an archive outside the university. </p>

(9) Even if she "gets everything submitted," the university can still revoke her degree even years later for a violation of this type. They are protecting their money, their reputation and their ability to attract talented people. </p>

All of the above presupposes no morality on the part of the faculty. Even if some of the outcomes are ”long shots,” university administration are scared and fiscally conservative. Why would the dean risk his job and career for someone else’s student doing an unpublishable thesis?</p>

Now if even one of the department's professors has an ounce of morality, her dissertation would be stopped cold until after she is in counseling and the law has been notified. Just one professor on the committee can stop the degree process and make her getting therapy a pre-condition for proceeding. No person’s life and marriage are worth a degree, and while many faculty may be oblivious to strains on their students’ marriages, this case is a blatant cause-effect. There would be state federal charges brought against Henry. The professors are legally obligated to report it and the authorities <b>do not need her cooperation </b> to proceed. </p>

Students are people. Many graduate students (and their spouses) become friends and colleagues. They eat at our table, come to our parties and keep in contact for the rest of our lives. Some professors can be assholes, but an entire department? An entire graduate school? No.</p>

Two more smaller problems: </p>

(10) The husband would not be shown any of the grant paperwork without a court order. Period. Even if the department chair requested it, the secretary would likely question it. </p>

(11) There is no way she could give any of her grant money to Henry, unless she turns over her salary. The money does not go through her, and why would the bursar cut a check for random guy in Utah? She’d have to commit fraud with her professor’s help.

This isn’t suspension of disbelief, its pure medieval feudal fantasy. </p>

-RealProf, USA

This is definitely a new twist on the "wife abandons husband for a dominant 'bull' with a big cock" theme. But there was too much repetition, especially in the first parts of the chapter. It was quite obvious she was pregnant when she had the unexplained nausea along with the baggy clothing and refusal for him to see her body. She was acting as if she was someone else's, not his, wife. My thought was that he should have placed a key logger or a camera in the den and used one or the other to break her passwords and find out what exactly was going on. The divorce ultimatum should have happened much, much sooner -- it was clear she did not love him by her actions. I think his striking her was a mistake; it could have gotten him thrown in jail with a domestic violence charge, and it was not necessary. I also feel her sudden agreement to confess everything after being so stubborn for so long was not credible. Finally, it is hard to believe that an educated woman would abandon everything to return to a society where women have no say in anything that happens.

As America approaches the 2008 presidential elections, political correctness dictates that the one taboo issue never to be raised is the theological tenets of the candidates' religious beliefs. Against this backdrop, it took courage for RealDoc to pen this critique of the cultish FLDS lifestyle.

I do not retreat from the word "cult." The polytheistic Greco-Roman religion of 2,000 years ago led to the evolution of two words that have negative connotations today but can be used quite properly as labels without pejorative meanings:

First, "cult" ... A generic term for any polytheistic religion, stemming from the Latin "cultis deorum" (care of the gods). These words can be compared to "cultis agri" (care of the fields), the etymological root of agriculture.

Second, "pagan" ... One who subscribes to any polytheistic cult.

So let us refer to the brutish Henry as a true pagan, much as the recently convicted FLDS leader Warren Jeffs can be so properly labeled.

The question of polytheism within Henry's cult was not touched on by RealDoc but should have been. The canons of both FLDS and the mother LDS Church subscribe to multiple deities, perhaps numbering in the millions, each with his (always male) own planet to populate and rule. The intriguing role LDS assigns to our own world's "God" physically impregnating the virgin Mary to conceive Jesus Christ might be a titillating theme for one of Literotica's imaginative authors to expand upon. Now that would indeed be a tale!

Where does this theological drivel lead me? Nowhere really, simply personal ruminations by a person attracted by RealDoc's submission.

I hope you have some great revenge setup in part #2.

OK, setting aside the various legal and academic issues this author got totally wrong, or extremely distorted, did anyone else recognize that Ethan and Henry are the same character? They are both near sociopathic, paternalistic, mysogonistic, ego and greed driven violent macho assholes. The only differences between them are: Ethan bases his actions on the prior claim of (civil?) marriage as property ownership, while Henry bases his actions on divinely mandated marriage as chattel ownership.

Susan on the other hand is a classic example of Stockholm Syndrome (or more historically appropriate - Rape of the Sabine Women Syndrome), especiallly with her prior history and no reputable institution would consider what she was doing in such an emotionally charged situation as valid academic research... especially when she only wrote her notes down months after the rapes and abuse happened!

She probably would have gotten a great book deal though.

First, the parts 1-3 are totally to in getting your point across. Second, no! humane being wants to read, even implied, of a twelve year-old being raped. It's sick!

Can you perform pre-frontal lobotomy on your self?

Believe me, you need it !!

I have read enough about this cult to know that the way of life you portray is real. I also find it abhorrent. I find it very difficult to believe that your Susan would really react in this way. From what I have read, any woman who escapes that cult would rather die than return to it. But I find your story interesting and gripping. I will read your part 2 just to see what you do with it. Enjoy Utah and all it has to offer. I fully believe members of the LDS church are wrong, but not as wrong as members of the off shoot of it. But still, Mormons are very lovely people and so hope you enjoy them and the life style.

It could have been 3 pages shorter. Also, "noxious" sleep? Maybe "poisoned" or "unquiet". Noxious would mean that the sleep was causing the poisoning, rather than his situation.

Still, I will read part 2...tho if you could out the redundancies...

I reiterate all complaints AND compliments made before me. I was irritated by the amount of time taken to reach the climax, but in the end it was worth it. Full marks !

You get a "1" for an unfinished story. Maybe if you hadn't spent so many words on this first part you'd have time for a conclusion. Although I liked your overall idea, you just seemed to get bogged down in too much detail.

LOL the worst part of this story is that people can get that way and become blind to themselves - she is - he is to a degree.

It will be interesting to see what you do to finish this one -

It was a good read as just a story.

Quite lengthy and overly detailed in some respects; but seems to be your style. And thet's OK.

I thought the slap in the face upon discovery of pregnancy and the subsequent admitted fear of Ethan would tempt Susan into transfering some sudmissiveness to him.

Perhaps the seed of a splinter story?

The story idea might be interesting in the hands of a good writer.

Interesting idea, but rambling, too long and other problems that others have noted. But I only wish to comment specifically on this:

"My father took Henry's pregnant mother to be his first wife because her husband, my father's brother, had been killed in an accident. My father later took three other wives. My mother was his fourth. Henry and I are not related by blood but by family ties only. "

So Henry's father is her father's brother. Where I come from, we call cousins blood relatives. I'd think that both a real doc and even an almost phd sociologist would know this.

The writing isn't up to the potential strength of the story.

Well that was a delightfully depressing little ditty...

Stockholm Syndrome....

So finish the damn story... how does Henri loose his balls? Hopefully tied to tree stump and castrated with a sledge hammer.

As far as erotic... Not in the least.

WHEN SHE REFUSED TO REVEAL HER ACTIONS WHEN THEY BOTH RETURNED HOME AND TOLD HIM TO WAIT TILL SHE WAS READY. MARRIAGE WAS OVER, THEY JUST DIDNT KNOW IT YET. BURN THE SELFISH BITCH.

Is this about that pervert and his merry band of scum ?

Couldn’t be bothered to even try to read this load of shit. This is some cuck bullshit.

but what can one expect from an Acadamia, TK U MLJ LV NV

Send in an armed force, to evacuate all the children and women who want to leave the settlement. Then with only the men, and submissive adult women remaining in the settlement, call in an air strike, dropping napalm bombs. Problem solved.

5☆ Hope you don't kill it. I need to check on when this was published. I see pt. Two is now available. I'm on it. Great pacing. Crisp writing. Wish I had similar talent. On another note, I was a voracious reader of what became more and more non-fiction. A little over two yrs ago I was in the middle of a good book written by one of my favorite authors when I shut the book and, believe it or not, lost the ability to read anything more than labels. Ive been trying to regain that ability again much of it here on LW. I'm old now and have been an adrenaline junkie all my life. I have significant health issues because of that and while it confuses me but the tension that develops in a good story here seem to help me regain some measure of what I crave, the edge. I have no idea why or how I have lived this long and resent I guess is the word relatively slowly dying. Pt. 1 was the longest story I remember reading in the past year so thanks for that.

Shamrock

This author needs an editor. Drones on and on repeating the same point. Next , his character doesn't respond normally - after pages of fussing about what she's been up to he gets a guy to hack into her computer where all would be revealed and then doesn't look? WTF?

The perfect burn? - Him torpedoing her PHD by filing suit against the University for their part in trashing his marriage. He could win large $$$ plus damage the integrity of the University OR settle having her PHD scrapped. Easy choice, they would dump her in an instant.

the story could be three times too long instead of twice too long.

Interesting story if a reader can hang on reading it.

Best you can say about her is she may have Stockholm syndrome. Anything else you can say about her is bad. Big brain like her damn sure knew forced sex was a good possibility. He fucked up marrying her in the first place. Come to think of it, both men fucked up getting involved with her.

Wimp so far

What man puts up with all that shit plus no sex for 4 to 5 months

1 week maybe

He better punish them with extreme cruelty

Who in the world would put up with that for 5 months? This overly long story kept me reading mostly because I was pissed off.

One of my favorite authors, but not for this story. Just no way.

What a whore

Overall an interesting and entertaining story which I enjoyed reading. One comment I had (intended as constructive vs complaint) was that the intial part of the story dealing with the wife's emotional separation from the husband could have been shorter while still conveying the same sense of emotional effect on the husband. Note that I am an average guy, not an experienced literary critic. Still, overall the story was quite interesting & enjoyed. I hope the comments are helpful.

The story rambled for a while, I imagine more than a few readers lost interest.

Find it hard to believe he has waited months to act, it became obvious to readers she was pregnant fairly early in the story.

The no sex while she puts the thesis together I feel is lies, She has already decided to go back to Henry or is at least keeping the option open by remaining pure for him.

Quote

""Obviously I cannot live in both nor be married to both you and Henry. He would not tolerate me giving myself to you. If I choose to return to him, I have to not have had sex with anyone else when I return. That would be infidelity to him. I am pregnant by him. I am unsure that you can accept this child as one of your own if I choose to live outside with you."

Hubby should take her by force if necessary and give her some "Rough loving" that she seems to like, maybe slip her something to knock her out and get "Ethan's pussy" tattooed on her lower belly just to piss Henry off.

Hopefully in part 2 Ethan makes Henry pay.

I can't help feeling her going there in the first place was all a ploy so she could get back into the lifestyle for some reason, she would have had some idea how it was going to be from what she remembered and or what her Mum would have told her ???

This guy talks too much

ffs dont call them Dom and sub a Dom doesn't need to rape thats so dam gross and if she grew up with them she knew what would happen long before she got there

this indused Stockholm syndrome is annoying when a rapist calles themself a Dom even more annoying when others actually think thats what a Dom is

i hope you are not going to just take out the guy you have to get them all

This bears zero resemblance to dominance and submission. Awful story.

She sounds like one of the pseudo-intellectual academic types that have no real understanding of detached, objective research. I've known too many of them.

The main male character in this one easily ranks in the top five or ten of stupid, insipid, dumbass characters. I have no words to express just how inanely idiotic this guy was. What a terrible and useless collection of words. Lowest possible score.

I still think the premise is absurd, but the telling of the story is good. It's like watching an insanely stupid and unnecessary train wreck where you can't turn away.

As Just Words said, the premise is ridiculous, but women are often ridiculous.

"Susan narrowed her eyes as she said, "I have told my thesis committee every detail. I left out nothing to them. I even told them how I had learned to enjoy the Dom/sub relationship. They know I'm pregnant. It means nothing to them academically and what they think of me personally is trivia to me. The PhD is what I was going for and now I'm going to get it."

The author has obviously no experience with a serious graduate school of sociology. While the "discipline" is almost entirely bullshit, there are rules of ethics for research. If the wife disclosed what she did, she would be thrown out of the program, even at a sewer like Berkeley.

The husband's denunciation of the wife was, unlikely most LW stories, articulate and effective. 4

3 star only because there was way, way too much padding. Did the author really have to repeat the stone-walling so often so it felt like it actually took the 5 months to wade through it to the final explanation.

As for a hub that let's his wife go off into such a situation without a plan B to send in the cavalry if communication is lost, well it just beggars belief. As for the further month without comms and he does nothing because he's too busy on his field trip? Get real. She could have been dead, buried and her corpse long since disposed of in that time and he didn't have any kind of "find her" back up in place?

Anybody notice her professor had a religious quirk? Part of the same group or at least a "feeder" for them?

Her PhD: on what grounds does subjecting herself to such an experience merit a PhD? Her sociologist training should have told her there is no new information to be gleaned from a closed society that is allowed to set its own rules: bullies and doms will always rise to the top. As for her herself are we to assume she's never heard of Stockholm Syndrome?

If hub went to the press he could blow these people, their community and her academic team to hell and back in the ensuing scandal.

Mind you i'm hoping he puts his shooting skills to some practical use first.

I just cannot believe that the husband would put up with so much shit for over five months Not only was the 4 th wife delusional. but so was he I did like (just a little ) the so called wanting of domination by the wife BUT really she was still just a slut after a big cock I hate her more than henry (Jaybee186)

Well ...

Can appreciate the without is making and sharing effort and sees writing prices isn't as easy as it might seem to those not doing it ...

Wife's behavior is crazy. Can have some potential sympathy given she was raised until nearly 12 in a cult (and while escaped with mother influences through mother no doubt lingered) then she was back in the cult again for 2 months; raped, isolated and dominated into submission (rope for reviving past indoctrination and Stockholm like syndrome etc) and used her PhD thesis as lifeboat for structure and meaning to her life.

Ethan, the husband ... even as a fellow guy who would want to sympathize with him ... he's trash ... from the start repeatedly making sure to express Susan was not pretty though he did like her body. Whined "how could you do this to me" in regards to her in his eyes making herself less attractive to him and hiding her body, the primary thing he seemed to like about her. He continually whines and badgered her about appearance etc rather than brushing like a man and husband communicating, supporting and focusing on their marriage rather than she's ugly smelly etc. Then the day of finally having their big conversation HE BEATS his wife! Giving her two swollen black eyes. This character seems to be in the mood of shallow narcissistic martyr males who like to believe everything they are doing is honorable justifiable etc and women are wicked deceiving heartbreakers. He and Henry are hardly that different ... do as I want and I will treat you well ... well also different in that Ethan has LDE (lil dick energy lol). He's pathetic, not fit wife being raped into cuckolding him, but for his reaction like a emotionally immature toddler boy. Even if it didn't work out between them for better or worse remember ... honor his views and help get her rape counseling and even cult deprogrammer. Instead he's going to toss her aside and get revenge for his hurt feelings. Pathetic male modeling so prevalent in this category.

Typical Social Studies major... absolutely screwed in the head narcissist... Masters and PhDs in their field are just self-affirmation and self-adulation of their delusional superiority... this is a great premise for your story but, would have been a far better work if you did not, in places, repeat over and over with the same sentiments and rhetoric... you could have cut 1 1/2 to 2 pages out... so, 4-stars.