The Ghost of Red River Falls

"Yes, it has. And, please, call me Pat. Of all people, you don't have to be formal with me."

"Okay, Pat," I chuckled.

"Jack, I want you to meet some people. This is my fiancée, Shannon Sullivan. And these people with us are her parents, Jack and Suzanne Sullivan."

"Pleased to meet you all," I said as we shook hands. My God, I thought, as I eyeballed the sheriff's fiancée. For a moment, I forgot all about my current dilemma. If Wendy and I ended up divorced, I hoped like hell I could find a woman who looked like Quinn's fiancée.

"Everyone, this is Jack Fitzgerald," Pat said, introducing me. "Jack is a firefighter and paramedic with the Red River Falls Fire Department. Jack was one of the firefighters who were in the ambulance that day that picked me up off the highway the day I got shot. He's one of the people who saved my life."

Pat's guests all seemed shocked by this revelation and his fiancée, Shannon, leaned over and hugged me immediately. For a moment, I was overwhelmed by the combined feminine scent of her shampoo, lotions, soaps and perfume. Whatever it was, they all combined to form an absolutely divine scent which enhanced her incredible beauty. Aside from Wendy and Connie, I can't remember the last time I saw a woman as sexy as Quinn's fiancée.

We stood there making small talk for ten or fifteen minutes before they decided they were overstaying their welcome.

"We better let you get back to your supper before your food gets cold," Quinn said. "It was really great to see you again, Jack. I can't thank you enough for everything you did for me that day."

"I appreciate that. But I'm also in awe of what you did that day saving that little girl. How great that she's going to be your daughter now! You're a lucky man."

"Really great to see you, Jack. If there is anything I can ever do for you, anything at all, I want you to give me a call," he said, handing me a business card.

"Thanks, Pat. I might just do that."

"Please do. Take care, Jack." And the Sheriff left to follow his family out to their car. Damn! What a lucky guy. I returned to my food and beer and finished both. With my stomach incredibly full of great food and access to plenty of refills of beer, my bar stool was getting decidedly comfortable and I decided to just make a night of it right where I was. I didn't have to meet Wendy and her attorney until tomorrow afternoon.

By the time I was into my fourth beer, the alcohol was filtering its way past the food and starting to have an effect. Depending on my overall demeanor, I can either be a pleasant, happy drunk or an incredibly depressed ass-ache of a drunk. I was on my way to being an ass-ache. I was feeling pretty down, depressed and sorry for myself.

I had just finished my beer and told the bartender to bring me another when a breeze flew in beside me and a male voice said, "I'll have what he's having!" I looked to my left and saw none other than Nate Parmelly occupying the bar stool next to me.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," I said, assuming a defensive posture.

"Yep, good ol' Nate Parmelly in the flesh," he said, with his trademark smirk on his face. "I heard the sheriff call out your name, saw you were here, an decided to come over and chat."

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Well, I heard you filed divorce papers on Wendy today and I thought maybe you might wanna talk about it. Judging by the look on your face, you look like you could use a friend, Jack."

"Great," I said, taking a sip of my fresh beer. "Let me know when any of my buddies walk in."

"Jeez, Jack. Don't you consider me a friend? We've never had reason to get at it, have we?"

"I dunno, Nate. I guess that all depends on what happened in Hawaii, doesn't it."

"Not sure what you're talking about there, Jack."

"Oh, please! Are you fucking serious? Are you fucking dense? You think I don't know that the whole trip to Hawaii was a ploy to get Wendy away from me for ten days?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jack. I had nothing to do with getting Wendy on that trip. As far as I knew, my grandmother was supposed to be going along right up until we saw Wendy at the airport."

"Yeah, right," I spat.

"I swear to God, Jack. It's true. Neither Greg nor Bobby nor Melinda had any idea either. It was just as much of a shock to them, too."

"Aw, hell. Your folks had it planned the whole time."

"Looking back at it now, you're probably right."

"I know damned good and well I'm right. They wanted to get her away from me, get her someplace tropical and romantic and have you romance her right out from under me."

Nate threw his head back and laughed out loud. At least he had a normal grin on his face instead of that stupid smirk.

"You know damned well I'm right," I continued. "I could tell from the minute I met your family that that's what they wanted was for you to sweep in and keep Wendy in the family fold. Like some kind of biblical responsibility or something."

Nate kept laughing for a bit and then got calmed down enough to talk.

"Well, Jack. I can't disagree with you there," he giggled. "Truth be told, I'm sure that my parents would love nothing more than to see that happen. But, I can assure you that won't happen in this lifetime."

"What? Wendy not good enough for you? You got someone better waiting in the wings? Her tits not big enough for you? Tired of living in your brother's shadow?"

Jesus, I thought. Why am I asking these questions? Am I trying to make an

argument for why he should want to take Wendy away from me? Am I that drunk?

"Well, Jack. The answer to your first question is that Wendy is good enough for any man on the planet. Second, I do have someone waiting for me. Third, her tits are plenty big if you're into tits. And last, I am indeed tired of living in my brother's shadow."

"What's wrong with her tits?" I asked. God, I really must be getting drunk.

"Oh, her tits are fine, Jack. I'm just not into tits."

"How can you not be into tits? All dudes are into tits," I slurred, taking another gulp of beer.

"Well," Nate said, pausing for a few moments, "I'm not like most dudes. Truth be told, Jack...you probably have a better shot with me than Wendy does."

I nearly spit out my beer. "I beg your fucking pardon?"

Nate gave me a big old shit-eating grin. "Yep. That's right, Jack. I'm gay."

I studied his face for a few moments just waiting for an 'I-gotcha' or something. But there wasn't.

"I swear to God, Jack," he continued. "Take a look over in the corner over there."

I turned to look at the far corner booth. Sitting there was a good-looking young man, probably 25 or 26 years old. He sat there, nursing a beer, with a bit of a

smile on his face, staring at me and Nate.

"That's my boyfriend, Jack," Nate explained, a look of genuine fondness on his face. "His name is Wyatt Helms. We've been seeing each other for almost a year." Nate turned back towards me. "If it makes you feel better, Jack, I didn't get to bring the one I love to Hawaii, either. Neither did Wendy."

As I looked back at him, Watt gave me and Nate a brief wave, to which Nate smiled and waved back. I looked back at Nate again and he at me. The grin was gone and a look of dead seriousness, with a bit of trepidation, had replaced it. I realized that Nate Parmelly was dead serious and he had risked something great by telling me he was gay.

"Do you understand now, Jack? Do you get it that I am absolutely no threat to you for Wendy?"

"I'll be goddamned," I half-whispered. I shook my head in disbelief. "Sorry, Nate. No disrespect, I guess it's just hard to wrap my head around it. I mean...you look...and act...well...what I mean is..."

"Normal, you mean? I look and act like I'm not gay?"

"Well, I don't mean to be an asshole...but, yeah."

Nate chuckled. "Don't worry about it, Jack. I hear it all the time."

I was still shocked and incredulous. "I guess I just thought that...well, I mean you look like a cowboy, ya know?"

Nate laughed. "Yeah, I guess that's just always been my look. Ever since Brokeback Mountain came out it's kind of been who I am, I suppose. Usually people hear that I have a background in theater and they say, 'well, that makes sense'. But, yeah, the cowboy look throws 'em off the scent, so to speak. Guess I'm just a gay, cowboy."

Now I chuckled a bit and relaxed some, too. "Sorry I misjudged you."

"Don't apologize. In fact, I'm sorry I misjudged you, too. On top of that, I'd like to apologize to you, Jack, on behalf of my whole family."

"Speaking of them, I mean, what do they think of you? I mean, no offense, but your dad seems like he's kind of uptight and old-fashioned."

Nate took a long pull from his beer. "Let me tell you something, Jack. I love my father in the way that all sons love their fathers to an extent. He never beat me or hit me while I was growing up. But as much as I love my father, I really don't like him very much."

For some reason, that was an immense relief to hear. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry."

"No, no, no. You're not prying at all, Jack. People have a lot of respect for my Dad. And for the most part, he's earned it. But I see the side of my Dad that most people don't. I see the temperamental, judgmental side of him that people don't. I see the side of Ed Parmelly that still cries and aches over the loss of his first-born and is so consumed by grief that he no longer has the capacity to experience any joy in his life, even with his remaining children and grandchildren.

"He resents the fact that Greg and Bobby each have kids of their own and he resents the fact that none of those grandkids are Kevin's. That's what I, Greg, Bobby and Melinda have had to grow up with. We've not only had to live in Kevin's shadow, we've also had to endure our father's blindness when it came to any of us."

I took a sip of beer. "I'm sorry, Nate. I guess that explains why he is so hell bent on keeping Wendy close."

"Whether she realizes it or not, Jack, Wendy needs you to fight for her. In fact, we all do. Especially Greg, Bobby, Melinda and me. We need you to fight for Wendy, too. The best thing you can do is get her the hell away from my parents. Let her stand on her own for once - without Kevin's memory or my parents' influence."

"I just don't know if that is possible," I half-whined.

"Listen to me, Jack! You have to do it! You'll be doing Wendy a favor she didn't even know she needed!"

"How can I do that when she's not even over Kevin yet?"

"Wendy has gotten over Kevin, Jack. Wendy is an incredibly strong woman. If she wasn't over Kevin's death, she wouldn't have married you. It has been four years since Kevin died. She knew she was ready to move on. What she needs to do now, is summon the strength to move on from my parents. She absolutely has to get away from them, Jack. You need to sweep her up, romance the hell out of her, and ride off into the sunset."

"The problem is, Nate, is that I still see Kevin everywhere. Even being married to Wendy, I still have to deal with his presence every time I go to the house. I can't even call it going home because it has never felt like home."

"Get rid of it. Put it on the market. What my parents don't know is that Wendy wanted to sell the house for the same reason. She knew it would be harder to move on, too. My parents were the ones who just about demanded that she stay there and insisted she keep it the way it was when Kevin lived there."

"I dunno, Nate. There's just so much that has happened. I just don't know if I have the strength or will to go on or if I even want to go forward. Maybe it would just be better if Wendy and I went our separate ways and I'll just fade back into the wood work."

"Aw, God, Jack! I am begging you not to do that. I am pleading with you to not let my father win this one. He already has it in his head that he can get Wendy to do whatever he wants. He is depending on her and everyone else to keep Kevin alive. I guarantee that Wendy loves you - no matter what she has said or done. When she realized that you weren't going to be there when she got home from Hawaii, she absolutely freaked out! She hasn't been this scared in a long time. She doesn't want to lose you, Jack."

"You don't understand, though, Nate. There's been some things that she's done and some other things that she planned on doing that are just going to be hell for me to try and get over."

Nate leaned in. "Look, Jack, if you're talking about the bedroom scene that you walked in on, Wendy told me all about that. She swore to me that she didn't know what came over her. She thinks it was just all of the pressure that she's been getting from my parents along with the fact that the two of you haven't seemed to have gotten off on the right foot yet. Wendy told me in Hawaii that she planned on seeing a therapist when she got home to get to the bottom of it. It might have been some pang of guilt that came up after you got married instead of before. I don't think it means she loves you any less."

"That was bad enough, Nate. But the sperm issue is just more than I can take."

Nate looked confused. "Sperm issue? What on earth are you talking about, Jack?"

I let out a long sigh and proceeded to give Nate the Cliff Notes version of Wendy planning on impregnating herself with Kevin's sperm and forcing me to raise a child that wasn't mine biologically. Nate sat there with a stoic look that slowly turned to horror by the time I finished.

"No, Jack. That can't be. There is no way that Wendy would do something like that to you. I guarantee it. I'd be willing to bet my life that my parents have something to do with this. It is the only thing that makes sense. Only my Dad could be so diabolical as to try and bring some measure of his son back to life by forcing Wendy to get pregnant with a dead man's sperm."

"What else could it be, though, Nate? Why else would she and Kevin have done it?"

"Simple, Jack. When Kevin was diagnosed with cancer, he and Wendy knew that it would be a long shot at getting better. But they still believed there was a chance. They also knew that there was a high possibility that the treatments that might save or prolong Kevin's life might also severely damage his ability to father a child. And so, before he got too deep into the chemotherapy and radiation treatments, he auto-donated his sperm to be stored for future reference in case him and Wendy couldn't get pregnant on their own."

"So, you think your Dad is the one who might be pressuring Wendy into getting pregnant with Kevin's sperm?"

"Jack, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Wendy didn't even know about it. Hell, I bet they were waiting to spring it on her at the end of the Hawaii trip but Wendy panicked over you and bailed on us early."

"Shit! That could definitely explain it. The whole thing was pre-paid by your parents. That's why it never went through our insurance company. It was the only way to keep it private."

"What the hell! Are you serious, Jack?"

"As a fucking heart attack, Nate. I had to do a lot of lying and cheating to get that information, including having a friend of mine pretending to be Wendy. Our insurance will cover up to two in vitro attempts but I'd have to know about it. Wendy would never have been able to keep it a secret."

Nate was silent for a few moments. As I studied his face, I could see tears forming in his eyes. "My God," he said. "Greg, Bobby and Melinda are going to freak out when they hear about this."

"I'm sorry, Nate. I really am. But I'm still going to need to hear all of this from Wendy."

"I understand," he said. "What time and where is your appointment with Wendy tomorrow?"

"Two o'clock and it's at my lawyer's office."

"Good enough. I'll be there."

"Really?" I said.

"Damned straight, if you'll let me. It's time my Dad understood where he stands with his kids."

"Okay, then. I'll see you there," I said, extending it. Nate promptly ignored my hand for a shake and engulfed me in a massive bear hug. Without thinking of it, I embraced him back. We hugged for a long time but it didn't seem weird.

"Come on over now, Jack. I want you to meet Wyatt."

"I'd love to," I said, grabbing my beer and plate. I spent the rest of the night sitting in the booth with Nate and Wyatt. Several more of their friends showed up later on and I was soon ensconced in gay men. Nate explained to them all that he still considered Wendy to be a sister to him and, thus, he introduced me to them all as his "new brother-in-law". I was somewhat taken aback and, yet, honored by the introduction.

I happily chatted with all of them throughout the evening. I was almost disappointed that none of them attempted to make a pass at me the rest of the evening. I guess it served to shatter one of many stereotypes I had of gay men and also helped dispel the illusion that I was better looking than I was. Guess I still had some growing up to do, even at the age of 35.

I was thankful that I had the next day off because I had one hell of a hangover. Fortunately, one of Nate's friends didn't drink and he served as a one-man drunk bus and dropped us all off at our homes, regardless of how far out of the way it was for him.

It was nearly noon by the time I woke up the next day. I still had two hours before I had to meet with Wendy and her attorney. I was comforted knowing that Nate was going to be there. If you had asked me if I would have felt that way a week earlier, I would have said that you were insane.

After the usual shit, shower and shave (and a lot of coffee) I started to feel like a human again. I simply chose a button down shirt, slacks, decent shoes and a tie for the meeting. I hardly ever wore a suit and this was about as dressed up as I got.

I arrived at Danielle Nichols' office at 1:30. I wanted to beat Wendy there and Danielle more or less hid me in her office until Wendy and her attorney, Malcolm Dunkirk, arrived. My parents were already there and waiting in the conference room. I had asked them to come for moral support, also, but I knew I might have to ask them to leave if Wendy didn't want them there.

At two o'clock, we headed for the conference room. I couldn't believe what I saw. Wendy sat there looking absolutely amazing in a dark blue pin stripe suit with an incredibly low-cut shirt. She wasn't blessed with an abundance of cleavage but I suddenly saw what wonders a high quality pushup bra could so for someone like her.

The other thing I couldn't believe was the fact that, along with her parents Mike and Christie, Ed and Joanne Parmelly were sitting on the opposite side of the table from me, as well. Ed gave me his trademark scowl as I entered and I saw my Dad return an equally distasteful look to Ed, knowing how Wendy's former father-in-law felt about me.

Regrettably, I didn't see Nate Parmelly in the room. I was crestfallen and hoped that he was only going to be fashionably late.

Danielle Nichols sat to my right and my parents sat to my left. My mother reached out and grabbed my hand as a show of support. Wendy saw it and I saw a slight smile on her face as she did. She was doing everything she could to try and make eye contact with me but I avoided doing so as much as I could. I was still too hurt.

"Counselor, you and your client requested this meeting today," Danielle began. "Perhaps you would like to start."

"Thank you, counselor," Dunkirk replied. "My client requested this meeting to see if her husband would consider other alternatives to resolving their differences before settling on a divorce. It seems as if Mr. Fitzgerald had withheld some key information from my client that could be useful in achieving a successful reconciliation between them."