The Gift

When he returned Kathy asked "Where did you spend the night?"

"I had paperwork to catch up on and spent the night at the shop." He snapped angrily.

Kathy spoke "I was worried, you didn't you call?"

He responded "Don't you have a phone? Are your fingers broken?" Nothing more was said between them that night.

Kathy put the CD away. She thought maybe that should been in a blue box too. The homecoming went terribly wrong. What could she expect? She had cheated on her husband and was guilty as hell about it. Worse, she had planned on leaving him for another man, and now he suspected something!

Kathy picked up the first of the blue boxes. She hesitated before opening it. This was when the pain started. She opened the box and took out the CD. There was no card. Her cheating had changed the tradition of the boxes. She pushed the CD into the player and heard the song begin. She remembered how she received the box. It came at work on Monday with an unusual bouquet of lavender flowers. Kathy would later learn that Lavender was the flower of distrust. If any of the girls knew that they did not say.

As usual the girls gathered around to hear the song he had sent her. Only this time Kathy wasn't sure she wanted the girls to hear this song. She had no idea what would be on the CD. The girls kept pressing her to play the song like she always did when a box came in. Finally she could resist them no longer and put the CD into the player

They all listened as the song began, it was a Bob Seegar tune

I KNOW IT'S LATE, I KNOW YOU'RE WEARY

I KNOW YOUR PLANS DON'T INCLUDE ME

ALL OF MY HOPES, FADING AWAY

WE'VE GOT IT ALL NOW

LET'S MAKE IT LAST

LET'S FIND A WAY

WHY DON'T YOU STAY?

The girls listened quietly at first and then looked at Kathy with disapproving glares. They had all seen Kathy with John and were not surprised to figure out that Tom had caught her. One of the older ladies in the group named Rose asked her "Kathy, what have you done?"

Kathy decided that what was done was done. She was planning on leaving Tom in two weeks and they would all know about it anyway. Why try to hide it now? She looked at them defiantly and told them

"I am leaving Tom in two weeks. I will be moving in with John, the man I have been seeing. Is that what you wanted to hear?'

Then Rose responded, "No, that's not what I wanted to hear but it is what I expected. You may not realize it now but I think you are making a huge mistake. Your husband is crazy about you. He is also one of the best men I know. I doubt the new man in your life will last anyway. You can stop now before it is too late."

"It may be too late anyway. You heard the CD, he suspects something already" said Kathy.

"It will be your loss if he leaves and some other girl's lucky day." Rose walked away shaking her head, the other girls started wandering back to work too. Only two girls remained. One was Grace, the other her friend Lisa.

Grace asked Kathy "Are you really planned to leave Tom?"

Kathy snapped angrily "Yes I am." Grace only nodded, turned and walked away.

Lisa was left throwing daggers at Kathy. "You didn't take my advice. Don't come crying to me when this all goes to hell. I am very disappointed in you. I was wondering why I haven't heard from you, why you haven't answered any of my phone calls."

Lisa turned on her heels and stomped off. Kathy knew she was mad but she would come around when she saw how good her relationship with John would be. Kathy was sure she was making the right choice.

Kathy took the CD out of the player and put it away. She looked at the CD and the box once again and wondered why she didn't do what Lisa wanted her to. She went home that night and confronted Tom about the song.

She yelled at him, "Why did you send me that, I am your wife!"

"Really?" he spat. I thought you might be more interested in someone else. Saturday felt like you were anything but my wife. The card and CD just fit what I am thinking"

"Your wrong Tom, your just wrong!" she spat back. She knew he wasn't. He was right on target. Why couldn't she just admit it? She had the chance to tell him the truth but she did not take it. Kathy realized that back then she subconsciously she did not want to tell him. She did not want the reality to be true. For the second time she wiped away a tear. She put the box away.

Kathy's fingers ran along the tops of the boxes and stopped on the second blue box. She remembered when she received this box. It was the day after she received the Bob Seegar song. She arrived at the Kensington street home and it was lying on the porch up against the front door. As soon as she saw it she looked around to see if he was there. She saw no one. She quickly scooped up the blue box and took in inside the house. She thought she should play it before John returned home. As she opened the box she saw the usual note inside and opened the folded paper to read it. Instead of the usual song lyrics was a short letter to Kathy. It began

My Love

I know you so well

Maybe better than you know yourself

You were my precious gem, a diamond

I knew every facet, cut and angle

At least I thought I did

I looked deep into the middle of that diamond

It was like looking deep into your heart, your soul

I never saw it, the imperfection

But I see it now

The song on the CD says what my mind thinks

As my heart screams that I must be wrong

If my mind is wrong please call me

I would go to my knees to ask, no beg your forgiveness

if you don't I will know

That when I fell in love with you

I missed the imperfection

Love blinds and blind eyes cannot see

I await your answer, my love, what will it be?

Kathy lips trembled and she fought back a tear. She placed the CD in the player and Ronnie Milsap started singing "Stranger in My House"

I can't find the love

In her eyes anymore

I'm beginning to understand

I feel the presence of another man

She sits staring out the window

A million miles away

is she loving him in her mind

While she's lying here in my bed

There's a Stranger in my house

Somebody's here trying to take her away from me.

Of course Kathy did not call. Once more Tom and the song were correct. Kathy was stunned that he could see the situation so clearly. Why couldn't Tom understand that she didn't want to hurt him, she was just in love with another man. Maybe she should have told him up front. Kathy realized she never told him the truth. Why not? It was a question she did not want to answer, even to herself. Were second thoughts creeping into her mind? Impossible! Kathy pushed that thought out of her mind. No call would come Tom's way. The cheating wife could not tell him he was right about his suspicions.

Kathy picked up the Third blue box. In some ways this was the worse box. Tom was spending more over nights at the office. He would come home one night not the next. Due to the uncertainty of Tom's actions, Kathy and John had not been able to get together during the week. They had decided to take a chance that Tom would not be home that Friday night. Kathy drove by the shop near her job. Ironically that was where Tom had taken up residence when he did not return home.

She drove by at 7PM and his car was there. Deducing that he would not be coming home again tonight Kathy called John on his cell phone. She told him the coast was clear and to meet her at the house. What Kathy didn't realize was that Tom was coming home. He was looking for just the right song to burn on a CD. He was also writing the card by hand. He wanted to talk to Kathy and try to save their marriage. Tom knew something was wrong. He thought she was seeing someone else. After all she did not make a call as he requested if he was wrong. Yet all he had were suspicions, nothing solid. He would confront her tonight and try to stay together.

It wasn't until 8:30 that Tom left his shop. It took him a half hour to drive across town to his home. When Tom turned on to his street he saw a strange car parked in front of his home. Wary as Tom was, the strange car set off alarm bells in his mind. Tom was terrified of what he might find but he had to know. He pulled five houses past his home and parked on the street. Tom went to the front door carrying a bouquet of flowers and a white box. He tried the doorknob. It was locked.

Quietly he slipped a key in the lock and turned the knob again. The door opened and Tom slowly walked inside. As he walked through the house he could hear nothing until he came to the bottom of the stairs. The same stairs he watched his wife descend in her little black dress on the night of their first anniversary. He thought how beautiful she looked that night and the memory made him smile. Until he heard the voices and what he thought was the bed moving. His mood turned black and cold. The smile fled his face. Tom walked up the stairs carefully avoiding the squeaky fifth step.

The house was cool as he approached the bedroom door but sweat was pouring off his face. Tom slowly opened the door a crack and his worse fears were realized. There on his marital bed was his wife and another man. They were in the missionary position and he could see the man moving in and out of his wife. Tom recognized him immediately. He had seen pictures in her high school year book of this man. Kathy had told him about their dating and that he took her virginity. The man was her first love. It was John Williams!

Tears welled in his eyes as his heart broke. The knowing was worse that he realized it would be. Tom knew he should walk in and beat the asshole up, but then where would the sense be in that. He would go to jail with his wife testifying against him at his trial. No, he would just leave and let the events play out. Tom walked back down the stairs even stepping on the fifth step. It made no difference the as lovers were too engrossed in what they were doing to hear. Tom left the flowers on the kitchen table, opened the box, and broke the CD in half leaving it on the counter with the flowers. He took the card. He walked out of the house slamming the door on the way out.

Kathy remembered what happened next. Kathy whispered "Did you hear that?'.

Impatiently John replied "I didn't hear anything." He wanted to continue making love.

"No, I heard something." She pushed John off her, put on a robe and went downstairs. She had a sinking feeling when she saw the flowers and the broken CD in the white box. The white box meant he was sorry and wanted her back. Now she was sure he knew. She did not know if he saw them or just heard and left. She felt terrible. She never wanted to hurt Tom like this. Yes she knew she would hurt him when she left but not like this. Kathy was troubled by her reaction. She was leaving him. What did she care? She had her man, it was John. Tom's feelings really should not matter to her. It was confusing but she put it out of her mind. John finally came down and saw the flowers. John thought Tom a wimp, for letting him take his wife away so easily and not putting up a fight.

'So the wimp was here? With flowers and a CD? How pathetic." Kathy really did not think it was pathetic but decided it was not worth fighting about. Tom did not come back to the house for a week. John never left, practically moving in.

Kathy woke from her reverie and looked at the boxes in the case. She wished now she could have that broken CD in the white box. She might not have the other blue boxes or the black and red boxes if she did. Kathy put the CD in the player and read the card. The song that started playing was Roy Orbison's "Running Scared".

Kathy read the words on the card, neatly typed and pasted inside the card, no longer his funny block printing she thought so cute.

Just running scared, feeling low

Running scared, you love him so

Just running scared, afraid to lose

If he came back, which one would you choose

Then all at once he was standing there

So sure of himself, his head in the air

My heart was breaking, which one would it be,

you turned around and walked away with me.

That was what Roy Orbison sang, it was different on the card. The last line on the card read "will you leave with him or stay with me?

Kathy remembered when she received this box. It was delivered by fed ex on Monday morning. No flowers or gifts accompanied the blue box. The girls, now more curious then ever, once again crowded around Kathy's cubicle to listen to the CD. This time Kathy refused to play the CD or read the card. She now knew that a blue box was not a good color. Evidently the girls did too and begged her to play it but Kathy held firm. It wasn't until after work when she got into her Toyota, the same one that Tom had fixed that first night. Kathy started to open the box when she heard a knock on the window.

It was her friend Lisa and the older lady Rose. Lisa asked "Do you mind if we listen to the CD Tom sent you? We will sit in the car with you and just listen to the CD. We won't say anything, just offer support if you want it."

Kathy acknowledged "I could use some friends to listen to this with me. Do you promise not to judge me?" The girls shook their heads and Kathy let them into the car. The girls sat quietly, Lisa in front with Kathy and Rose in the back seat. Kathy opened the box and hesitated for a few moments then slipped the disc into her cars CD player and read the card. The girls listened quietly while the CD played. She read the card and then passed it to the other women in the car. Lisa cried as she read the card and listened to the song. She knew he was pouring his heart out. He opened up to her telling her his fear of losing her to another man. He also told her in the card that he would be coming back to his home on Saturday morning. He made it clear that she would have to make up her mind by then. He ended his card by writing "I hope you will choose me."

Rose read the card and inquired "Kathy what are your plans?"

Kathy told them "I'm leaving with John Saturday Morning."

Rose just nodded her head and remarked "I wish I had someone who loved me enough to ask me back even after he was sure I had cheated on him."

Kathy responded Rose, aren't you the one who has been divorced twice?"

"Of course you are right." Rose replied sadly, "but if I could go back in time I would never have cheated on Chet, my first husband. I realized too late he was the love of my life. I have really never been as happy since he left me."

"That may be so but I am sure that John is the man I am destined to share my life with."

Lisa thanked Kathy for sharing the contents of the box with them and they swore they would never tell anyone about it. Kathy thanked them for honoring her request for secrecy as the ladies left the car.

Kathy went home and discussed what to do with John.

"Leave and let him come home to an empty house." He suggested. He will understand he lost you to the better man. That should end it."

Kathy felt she could not do that to him and told John "He was always fair and honest with her. I was always treated well, like someone special. I owe it to him to tell him face to face."

"If that what you want do it. It has to be over by Saturday." he instructed Kathy.

At 9:45AM Kathy was sitting at the kitchen table. The last two of her bags were placed by the door. She had taken all of the things that she wanted the day before and moved them into John's new place. Promptly at 10AM Tom walked through the door of his home. The first thing he saw were the packed suitcases and instantly realized Kathy's decision had not been him. Kathy could see where there had been hope on his face moments before it was now replaced with sadness. Without acknowledging her he walked to the fridge and pulled out a beer, twisted the top off and threw it into the sink. He sat down in the chair across from her and took a long drink from the bottle.

"I guess you answered the question" he said finally.

Kathy was confused. "What question?" she asked. After taking another long drink from his beer he replied

"Your leaving with him and not staying with me".

"Oh" was all the answer she could muster. He took another drink and asked her

"you love him?"

"Yes"

"So there is no use fighting for you is there?"

"No, I am sorry Tom." She whispered.

He took another drink from his bottle and slammed it down on the table. Never looking at her he said "I think it is time you got your fucking ass out of my house". Kathy was shocked at his choice of words; he had never directed profanity at her before.

"Will you help carry my bags outside?" Tom put the bottle to his lips and finally finished his beer and once again slammed it down on the table.

"It's your decision to go, carry your own God damn bags." Once again shocked by his words Kathy first carried one then the second bag out to the porch. Once Kathy was outside, the face to face over, she sent a text John to come over to pick her up. She was not happy about the way things went. She wanted to try to explain what happened and how she felt. She wanted to tell him she still loved him just not the way she loved John. She wanted to be kind about the whole thing but Tom had other ideas. If she did not want him then she had to go. To him it was that simple she thought. Then again how could she blame him?

Kathy looked at the house that she had lived in for more then three years. They had been happy ones. She thought she heard a noise from inside the kitchen and went to look inside the window. She was dismayed to see Tom sitting in the chair with his back to her. His body was wracked with silent sobs. She was shocked to see her strong husband crying like a baby. She made the mistake of putting her hand to the window as her wedding ring tapped the glass and he turned to glare at her.

He walked outside grabbed her left hand and quickly removed her engagement and wedding ring off her finger. Never speaking he went back into the house and threw them on the table. They bounced off the tabletop and fell to the floor. Tom made no effort to retrieve them. Kathy was looking at him through the window. He walked to the window all the while glaring at her eye to eye and slowly closed the blinds. His eyes never left hers until the blinds totally closed. Kathy had never seen such a look of hate from anyone before.

For the first time she was scared of her husband. She was also scared for John. John thought Tom a pussy and a wimp. She knew, or thought she knew until today, that Tom would never hurt her, but she was not too sure about what he might do to John. She had no illusions. She knew her soon to be ex husband would not be easy to best in a fight.

John finally arrived at the quaint house on Kensington Street. As he was getting the bags off the porch he threw loud insults at Tom inside the house. As they were pulling away Kathy was relieved Tom did not come out of the house to confront John. She had hoped they could part as friends. That was not to be. Putting the ugly confrontation behind her Kathy was happy. She was with her long lost love. They would now be starting a new life together. She would do the best she could to make him happy.

Kathy put the disc into the blue box along with the card and placed it back into its spot in the case. She thought it ironic. She said the same thing to Tom as she just thought about John. She would do the best she could to make him happy. She had failed miserably.

She pulled the next blue box from the case and looked inside. She remembered this one painfully well. She knew what the song was because this one had no card in it. As she took the CD from the box she immediately thought of Tom's Cousin Janice and the day of her wedding shower. Kathy had been talking to some of her girlfriends as they were leaving when Janice walked up to her.