All Comments on 'The Gift'

I loved this story. One of the best I've read, right up with HDL's 'Impersonating Breanne' and 'Check Yes or No'. Thank you for this "Gift".

I loved it. Didn't see it any of the important parts coming (maybe it's too early...LOL). You developed it well and ended it with this reader experiencing a warmed heart. THANK YOU (yeah 6 stars...oops, they didn't offer that...)

made me sad. My mom still cried for my dad ten years later when she remembers him. They nearly had twenty years together. Even though she is remarried now, it took her over five years before she was able to date again, and a part of her will always hold fond memories of him. Reading this story kind of reminded me of that. Thanks.

I have seen strong men broken by the loss of their wives. In both cases it was only months before they followed their women to the grave. It tells you a lot about a man's love for his wife. Oddly, I have never seen this with widows. They seem to go on, perhaps it is their attachment to their children.

Schmaltzy, but I enjoyed your story. Thank you.

This is the first story that so totally truly belongs in this category.

Absolutely great. So nice to read something like this

Wow, powerful, thank you.

What a beautiful story. I gave you 5 stars, and it didn't seem enough. So I drew in a 6th. I think I ruined my iPad glass......

That's all I can say.

A hot, sane woman who's into Marvel comics and board games ? I've known one or the other variant of females at Comic-con, but NEVER both. The story, however, was a sweet charmer, albeit straying to fanciful end of spectrum. I didn't believe it for a second yet quite enjoyed it all the same. Loved the 'sometimes friends aren't really friends' riff. One of many little pearls .*****

I read Loving Wives for the BTB story's. Of all the hundreds I've read I have given less than a hand full 5 Stars. Like one of the earlier comments; I would have given your story 6 Stars if it were available. Thanks for the good read.

You, sir, are a talented writer. You had me hooked from beginning to end. This truly is a Loving Wives tale -- on that, it seems we can all agree. A true rarity for this group.

I look forward to reading the rest of your work. Please keep writing.

The "my vagina stopped working disease"????

That is the kind of ignorant, trollish comment you might expect from somebody who didn't give you 5 stars......

But I did.

I can see how this story got away from you. I could feel how you got wrapped up in the characters, and the story took on a life of its own....perhaps BEYOND what the story idea was that you originally wanted to tell.

That is cool to read, and fun to experience from this side of the screen.

But I ALSO imagine that along the way, you had to ask "why?", knowing that a critical audience would be asking that too.

Why would she do this? Why had there been a lack of sex, yet NOT a lack of love? Could nerdy gamer types with boring jobs be the last of the "good guys" left? What starts out as a nerd's fantasy ("she wants ME???) turns into a compelling love story. Hmmm.....

I imagine that trying to research a plausible cause of death, only so readers could pick apart the realism problems and remind you that you are NOT a medical expert, was indeed too much trouble. Better to leave C.O.D. unsaid.

IF the story had lacked OTHER details, such as developing a personality for even minor characters (like Frank the boss), and a strong sense of the conflicted emotions of fear, guilt, and insecurity, THEN the lack of further explanations into the wife's behavior would have seemed more a glaring omission that showed lack of effort on the author's part.

But you asked us just to assume that since Mary had researched and found the perfect woman to "replace" her in Cathy, that OF COURSE, Cathy would do her part and fall in love with our nerdy comic-book guy. With their own courtship built on an awkward foundation, it felt like the major hole in this story was how they managed to overcome the obvious obstacles of grief, loss, and distance.

Sometimes it is OK to let the reader "fill in the blanks", or even "connect the dots". But as an aggregate, the skeptical readership here has trouble believing in the best of intentions of people. One might surmise that Cathy was gold-digging, and looking to get out of the escort business, and finding a "faithful puppy-dog" who would even go without sex for years if needed, and would "set her up" so she could have future affairs with impunity, and he would never question or divorce, especially since he was much older, and it is understood that his equipment will start failing much sooner than hers.

OK, relax.....I KNOW that this isn't part of your story. But can you see how somebody might arrive at those conclusions, despite the details you DID include, from what it was that you chose to leave out?

Still, I think you did a great job, and thus the five.

My biggest problem was your author's note at the start of the story. You admit being "done" with this story, before it was perfected. Perhaps that reflects the emotional limitations of becoming too "attached" to the characters, and story line. My constructive advice would be to take emotionally gut wrenching stories, and put them aside for awhile, until you can come back to them with a more subjective insight. Never feel the need to rush your work to publication.

Hey, the trolls like me, will just have to wait until YOU are ready. And trust me, with the talent that this one story has in it, I can tell that it will be worth it.

Thanks so much, and keep writing!

More than a bit far-fetched that Cathy (as described) would fall for Doug (as he described himself). First LW story from this newish writer - hope to see more. I've noted DC to my short hand-written list of writers whose stories I want to read.

So is the author truly a Deadhead? If so you are in good company brother! Great loving story!

Well done! 5 stars

A nice read. About halfway through I was beginning to compose a comment on if a wife would actually be able to do this "present." I can usually tell where a story is heading, even those with twists. Frankly, I realized the real reason almost as I was reading it. A true twist of plot that totally took me by surprise. Well done.

Judging by the stories that JPB writes, he is a realist and a synic, he has an eye that can see the goodness and badness of people, and he can also be dirty and evil to the core. All these qualifications i am sad (or glad) to say that you don't have. Judging you by the stories that you write, you are a man who believes that people are originally good, you believe that love conquers all and that nobody and nothing is beyond redemption. This is why I felt like reading two different stories when I compared yours to JPBs, you didn't stay true to the character of the wife (or the husband) and changed them to fit the way on how you view people, not the way how JPB view people since this was his story you are following. However, your story is enjoyable to read as always and thanks for sharing.

Really, really good. The details of the ending surprised me, but not the overall idea. Well done! Better than most of my stuff - for sure!

Leo

This is the 1st story that fits the group title to a tee. I have been reading here for many years and I believe this is one of, if not the, best ever!

Outstanding. While I had some suspicions that something else was going on I wasn't sure until just before it became obvious. Nice little tale. It's not clear how Mary knew more about Cathy than Cathy apparently told her? Just a little magical mystery? It didn't take away from the story.

What a nice romantic fantasy! I really enjoyed reading your story. Your apology at the beginning was unfounded. You even made the adultry part nice. Thanks you, so much! Cheers!

Loved it. Well written.

next to true trust and love.....nothing is better. TK U MLJ LV NV

A real fairy tale. Like the story but really a story. You know you are dying but you don't want to tell your husband , so you go out and find the perfect replacement for him, younger more beautiful and into the same things . Wow only this writer could come up with this story.

very sad

You don't get to many good stories like this on here

Excellent story, surprise ending, sad but beautiful. But was believable when I thought his wife had picked out someone just for sex since she knee her man well enough to know he would nit cheat but sex is essential! Some don't believe in sex for sex and in some cases dies make the relationship better. Too many women don't realize how much men think and want sex most of their adult lives! And some women don't need it, but I can't understand that because at 51, I still can't get enough!! But have heard several women say they could live without it!!! A knowledgable wife this one was to realize it!! Great story!

A story that is filled with so much love. It showed what a truly loving couple will do to ensure their partners continued happiness.

This story is an absolute treasure. Thank you for writing.

Of storytelling. Well done.

What gift from a very caring, thoughtful, unselfish, loving wife.

Need more wife characters like this one in stories on this site, way too many cheating, cuckolding wife's !

Saying anything would only repeat what has already been said.

Told the wife to read it, she cried.

... Maybe a little better suited for "Romance" but a fine story, nonetheless.

Absolutely awesome. Very rare to find something that mixes so many different qualities, erotic, romance, drama, etc. great job!

But there were parts that didn't really make sense. For one, if the wife really cared so much about her husband's sexual fulfillment, his feelings, self image, their marriage, etc., why wouldn't/couldn't she find it within herself to see to his needs herself? I mean, why wouldn't she just use some artifical lubricant, if need be, and fake an organism, which is what most women do? If vaginal sex had become painful due to menopause-related atrophy of the vaginal mucosa, or whatever was implied here, why couldn't she at least give him oral sex, and pretend to enjoy it? I think it would mean more to this man that his wife cared enough to give him a good blow job herself, than it would mean to him that she hired a hooker to do him because she didn't care enough to do it herself. Also, the morning-after blow job scene made no sense. This guy would have a bad hangover and a bursting bladder. It think he would be more interesting in getting to the bathroom than in getting a blow job, under those circumstances. Still, pretty good story; keep trying.

I wish I had had the balls to write something like this! This is truly, Truly, a loving wife story. For those of you who think it needs to be in romance you are wrong. For those who are thinking it was to schmaltzy, you are wrong.

This story is truly alarming life story. For those of you who are wondering why the wife could not do her wifely duties and provide her husband with sex I suggest you take a look at the possibilities of cervical cancer. I am no doctor, and I do not play one on TV, but I would highly suspect that the wife was suffering from cancer. And really what does it matter?!

Yeah, most women, even the loving wife, would not go to this trouble for their husband. But this one did. And that is what makes this story so marvelous! I am so happy to see a story that does not involve a cuckold husband, a bitch wife, a stupid husband, a cheating*husband, or incest, or guys with monstrous cocks, or any of the other silly blather which is so prevalent on these postings these days.

I gave this a five-and I do not give out many fives. Please write more. And if you look at the comments you will see that a lot of us love this story.

With sincere admiration,

Chagrined

There are few stories posted in LW that impress me. This is one! Very good job!!!

FANTASTIC. THANK YOU...

There were a few bumps along the road but he navigated them and then they really meshed it was smooth.

Wonderful !!

My mother did this for my father.

At first, like the rest of the family we thought it weird, almost preverse.

Over time we all realized it was the most true expression of her love and caring for him.

Amazingly close to how she did it. Thanks for bringing back such a warm memory of her and dad's life and love.

They are both gone now,perhaps together again somewhere.....

The twist ending was in the last 8 little paragraphs, nice going. Liked it and the development. Thanks.

I fived ya. Not going to say any more.

This one really got to me. Kinda wimpy, I know, but still.......... Well done. I look forward to reading your other submissions. You have a great heart.

What an amazing story of pure love. You created such a perfect story, I was so swept up in it, when the twist started I had to go back and reread it to make sure I'd read it right the first time. Even the few mistakes didn't detract from the story at all. Your pace, characters, details, pace, everything was spot-on. Totally, completely perfect

Congratulations on an excellent story! I could say so much, but I think giving you 5 stars is probably enough.

Thank you for making me tear up like some pansy. 5 stars!

I really appreciate the motivation these comments provide. I was rather surprised that this story touched a nerve. I personally hated killing off Mary. I prefer happy endings (pun intended).

Well done. Terrific story. :)

-V

Good story. Have run into a few others in the same vein. This is better than most though not top of the heap. At times it felt a bit mixed and the emotion was uneven. Seemed a bit predictable - kind of figured the ending by page 3 - lil Mary was a surprise :-D. Still, a nice read.

I wondered if this was the correct category but it fits well into a few.

Keep writing. 5* - better than a 4, almost a 5.

Thx.

...this would be rated 5 ***** Very touching, I was another reader with teary eyes. Thank You, DreamCloud (Pssst! try a spell checker, I would like to be able to rate your next story a 5!)

but not reality.

never gonna happen this way in the real world.

2 star, dark cloud

Very good story

Nuff said! 5+*

LeFrog08, You should read the intro again. DreamCloud didn't edit because he or she couldn't bear to read it again. That is not a flaw. 5*

I enjoyed this story very much. Touching moments. Thanks for sharing.

There is another one on this site that explores the same concept - wife is dying; she hires an escort to seduce her husband so he is not alone after she dies. The other story is much longer, but I can't remember either the title or the author.

Both are obviously fantasies, but very well done in both instances.

Tear jerker fantastic love story.. Read it twice already.

But it is screaming for some back stories explaining how each character ended up in that situation.

A marvelous tearjerker. Though hiring a professional sex worker to fill in for a loving relationship is just a bit of a stretch, you do make it seem credible and sincere. I was hoping -- assuming -- that Mary had hired Cathy to provide the kind of sexual pleasure she had herself recently enjoyed and regretted with another man. Urged him to use Cathy as an ostensible birthday present, a guiltless pleasure he has to accept in order to please her. One that -- unknown to him -- will relieve her of the remorse and guilt she was now feeling and return their marriage to its former equilibrium. A reversal of the usual "two wrongs don't make a right" moralism of Cheating Wife tales.

That could have made it more credible, hubby bewildered but left with fond memories of great sex, awed by Mary's apparent supreme selflessness, Mary delightedly rededicating herself to him for the rest of their lives with renewed appreciation, morally cleansed, and Cathy admiring his intense loyalty to his marriage yet pleased by her own superb seductive powers, happy to help another woman in trouble.

So good..... I won't go into 'technical stuff', no point.... the story was engaging, the characters 'solid' and the writing flowed... errors (if any) in grammar etc. were missed as I was so absorbed in the story... Loved it, very well done, DreamCloud.... very well done indeed. Thankyou, Mike.

So good..... I won't go into 'technical stuff', no point.... the story was engaging, the characters 'solid' and the writing flowed... errors (if any) in grammar etc. were missed as I was so absorbed in the story... Loved it, very well done, DreamCloud.... very well done indeed. Thankyou, Mike.

Some times words aren't enough. I suspect you had trouble deciding which category to put this one in. I would have gone with Romance. Thank you for a story well told.

The end sometimes justifies the means. This story was firmly predicated on the premise of unselfish true love. The writer hit all the right notes and sandbagged the reader at the end.

this my second read, still got caught in the mastery of your deception of her "Gift"

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

and ditto and ditto and ditto...

I can only compliment the other comments.

As a rule I don't search the loving wives section for all the reasons given, they don't truly fit the meaning of the category. I'm thankful I found your listing through the new stories list.

I am one of those awful readers that don't really give out 5* ratings. This got a 5. Would likely have given it a 6. Thank you for your writing.

Didnt see that one coming at all.Never did I expect that kind of an ending. The old saying is true.incredible works are done by incredible people. What I just read was truly incredible.

Thank You

Thank you

If you tell it true about your starting prose and the editorial process, the resulting product is pretty darn good. I would still carp about some minor punctuation lapses, but it still rises above most of the others on this site in that regard. What I really like is your characters, as much as you can portray them in this medium. Yeah, the erotic aspects are pretty good too, but hot sex with empty place-holding characters is pretty boring after a while.

Hope you can keep it up!

This is a movie ready for Hollywood shooting.

Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed this story.

Simply stunning.......

No doubt about it the best story I have EVER read. ' WOW" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A complex subject, well thought out.

I haven't read anything like this before. BRAVO!

But I had to wipe the corn pone off my screen.

i've never read a story as touching as this one,it's love ,deep love,and conceirn for those left behind ,simply amazingly well written ,thx for sharing

I've read some true loving wife stories on here and this is about as good as u can get. I consider blue eyes crying by DG HEAR to be the best and I'd put this next to it, good story my friend

left me misty eyed.

love it! Sex is just sex... Love makes it all meaningful! Not too obvious, but lovely ending!

Found you from your latest (The Cabin), and have been catching up on your submissions. A truly incredible body of work, but this one is superb.

You should really write more!

Piqued, not peaked. Stopped reading at that point.

Forgot the ending, didn't see it coming, even having read it before.

a character that values his marriage. Amazing story.

I enjoyed "The Muse", and now this. You're a very good writer no matter what the plot. I expect this came under LW due to the infidelity, though encouraged. Methinks I shall get into the Romance portion more often. Perhaps that written by Dream Cloud. Cheers!

You missed a good story...

Take care

.....that a dying spouse would arrange companionship for the spouse being left behind.

Growing up, I never imagined such a thing would be within the grasp of human love and loyalty. But I've seen it a half dozen times and wondered at it.

Well written, interesting scenario.....dying wife hires a carefully selected hooker, hubby and hooker are meant to fall for each other....they do and hooker turns wife. They live happily ever after, with a day of sad remembers cereals year.

The cases I know about were much different....a wife dying of cancer joins her husband with the home care nurse when she discovers the nurse's history and longing for love. The two are very happy and have a day of celebration each year for the day his dying wife told the nurse her dying wish for her husband and the nurse.

The other was more.....interesting. Again a wife dying of a debilitating and slowly advancing disease brings one of her teacher-husband's early students from when he was still a fairly new and young teacher and talks to them both together and individually for over 6 months as she declines, then asks them the night before she dies to stay together and help each other. Apparently, the wife saw something there that neither student nor teacher was willing to acknowledge or act on...but the attraction was obvious to the wife. She told them her husband wouldn't live long without someone to love and the young woman was alone in the world, needed a good and gentle man and already had feelings for the husband. Apparently, after a lot of blushing and strong denials over several days, they both admitted their feelings. They were also both surprised that they each held an attraction for the other. They don't discuss details, but it appears the wife asked them to "hook up" before she was too sick to recognize their blooming love. They married 3 months after the wife died and have 4 children together. The deathbed request was her extracting a promise that they would "stay close" and care for each other.

There are others stories I know less about, but this idea is clearly within reasonable grasp of the range of activity in loving, long term marriages.

Thank you for this story. As always, you write your characters well. Perhaps the "I'm too low on the food chain for a hot girl to like me" was a bit overemphasized, but it did help set up the suspicion that something out of the ordinary was going on.

Obviously a fantasy, but fantasies can be fun and uplifting! :)

Thanks very much DreamCloud! Dan 5 Stars1

One of the very few storys you can actually put in the category of the Loving wife,most storys should be called more like cheating bitch,stupid bitch and so on

Well done dreamcloud

Not many folks love their mate so much that they would prepare a replacement. I pray that if I learned of my impending death that I could do that for my lovely bride of many decades.

On Feb 2 2014, My wife of 28 years lost her battle with cancer, Your story brought tears to my eyes, They were tears of sorrow and memories. Thank you for your story, I didnt know I needed it until I read it as I have been in a major funk the last couple of weeks knowing the 1 year anniversary is a few weeks away. God Bless you

I didn't see that coming! I am all chocked up, brilliant story, very well written.

After so many other comments there is little to add but Thank You. As its wet and miserable outside, and this has really cheered me up.

Please write some more.

Good,good story

That was a masterpiece! Great twist at the end, actually made me choke up (and not the way most stories on here do.) Loved it and gave 5 stars.

That one finds such a diamond, while the sex was ok the story...that was great!! I wish i could give more stars