The Grass is Always Greener

A short time later he came into the room. He avoided the area around the sofa. He probably thought that I was sleeping there as I should have been.

He stripped down to just his boxers and hesitated. In the darkness I could see him staring at the blankets piled on the sofa and shaking his head. He started to walk over there and then just came back and got into bed.

"Sarah what are you doing here?" he sputtered.

"Trying to sleep and getting more pissed at you," I snapped.

"Look, I know I was out of line but I couldn't help it," he said. "Did you know that it's my turn in the bed?"

"Bill, why are you such a moron?" I asked. "I thought you were my friend."

"I am your friend," he said. "That's why I was out there trying to dance with you even though I hate dancing. And you know what? I knew that what happened was going to happen."

"Then why bother?" I asked.

"Because you wanted to dance," he said. "And I wanted you to be happy because I'm your friend."

"Bill, do you know why that happened?" I asked him. "It happened because you're not a liar."

"Huh?" he said.

"It happened because you and I are grown-ups. We're adults Bill. We're healthy adults and in order for us to be happy both physically and mentally, we need to have sex."

His mouth shot open. "I don't int..." he began.

"Before you start talking, can I finish?" I asked him. He nodded his head and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Bill, I'm never going to get married again," I said. "Once was enough. Never again will I go through that. But I have a problem. Like I told you, I'm a full grown woman and I have needs. Being married, you get used to a regular schedule of activity. It's not like when you're single and you go out and get shot down a lot. When you're single and you go out looking for sex, you call it getting lucky because a lot of the time it just doesn't happen. You get all dolled up and come home with empty pockets, wet panties and a bad attitude because the guy was a loser. Once you're married, you can get all the sex you can handle at least at first. And even after things slow down, you're going to get it regularly. That's why a lot of assholes figure divorced women are easy."

"I don't know about you Bill, it's December, we've known each other since July. So it's been about six months. Unless you've been seeing hookers, I don't think you've been with anyone for at least six months."

"Uhm it's been over a year, since before my divorce," he said.

"And it's been longer than that for me," I said. "Except for getting myself off, no one has touched me since my divorce either. I don't know how much longer I can go. That's why I know that you're really not my friend."

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "I encouraged you to go dance with one of those guys. Who knows what would have happened for you."

"See what I mean," I said. I pulled the blanket over my head as if the conversation was over.

"I don't understand Sarah," he said quietly.

"Bill, those guys don't care about me," I said. "Instead of seeing this as just a healthy physical release, they'd look at me like I was some whore. They'd just want to use me and throw me away and then talk about me badly." He nodded.

"What I need, is someone to take care of my needs who wouldn't judge me and who would try to get all emotional about it. Someone who knows that I'm not looking for a boyfriend or another husband, but at the same time cares enough about me not to hurt me. It would be just no strings attached sex, but without being evil or nasty about it."

"You know," I said, looking at him. "Friends with benefits."

"I don't know, Sarah," he said. "It just doesn't sound right. What if we mess up what we have? I don't think I'd like that."

From looking at his face, I could see even in the darkness that he was taking this talk seriously. I was important to him and that filled me with hope. At the same time, I felt really badly because I was still running a con game on him. I was hoping with all of my heart and soul, that if we started having sex, we'd move on to the next logical step.

"We can't mess up what we have," I lied. "Because we're friends so we can always go back to that. If you meet someone that you want to start a relationship with, I'll just back off. Will you do the same?"

"I'm not sure I could," he said. Once again, hearing his words only made me want him more. I knew that he'd never have to back off because I'd never want to be with anyone more than I wanted him.

"You're my only friend," he said. "You're the only person I trust." That almost made me decide to just forget it. He was telling me his innermost thoughts and feelings and I was just desperate to get in his pants.

"So Bill, if that's true then do you really want to see me go out there and fuck some loser because I'm so desperate to be held that I don't have a choice?" He slowly shook his head.

"I would really hate to see you hurt, Sarah," he said. I lifted the covers and he slowly climbed into bed with me.

My body started to almost vibrate with desire as I told him another lie. "Bill, I want you to think about this. I don't want you to do something that you really don't want to, but I think it would be good for both of us. It won't mean anything and nothing will change between us. We're still only going to be friends. It's just sex. It's only a physical release. No kissing, none of that stuff. If you want, we can think it over for a couple of days. If nothing has happened before then, we won't talk about it. I'll just find someone else. But for tonight, could you just hold me. We don't have to do anything, but I'd just like to be in someone's arms."

Bill reached out very slowly and wrapped his arms around me. The contact was exquisite. I tucked my head under his chin and my boobs flattened against his stomach. His flag pole was in full flight and it nestled against me. I felt him trying to subtly pull away and I grabbed him and pulled him back. He was so warm and I wanted him then more than anyone has ever wanted anything. I lifted one of my legs over his and the heat of my mound had to be driving him crazy.

The only thing separating us was two very thin layers of cloth. My nipples were as hard as diamonds and they were pressing into him. His hand started to rub my sides very slowly.

"Sarah," he gulped. It sounded like he was in pain. I knew then that I wasn't alone. The head of his penis was already sticking through the opening of his boxers. It was already nestled against me. I just pulled my panties aside and pushed. I was already so wet that he slipped right inside me. It was an awkward position and it wasn't nearly enough. I rolled over on top of him pushed myself down onto him. I was so ready that I almost came on entry. It was like falling down a long tunnel as I slowly slid down the length of his dick. More and more of it pushed its way up into me until I was sitting with my ass on his balls. It felt so good I wanted to scream.

He grabbed my hips and started to gently push me back up and then pull me back down onto him with increasing frequency and ferocity. My pussy was making tiny squishing sounds. He let go of my hips and grabbed my dangling breasts and pulled their tips one after another into his hungry mouth.

"Oh yeah Bill, suck my titties," I screamed. I was ramming myself onto him faster and faster.

"Do you like this?" I asked.

"Mmm Hm," he answered. Then he rolled me over and pinned me against the bed. I spread my legs further apart than I thought I could as he started ramming me harder and harder. I couldn't think any more. All I could do was try to rise to meet him. My insides began squeezing him involuntarily. My pussy was trying to milk every drop of his semen when he came. Bill let go of my breasts and started licking me behind my ear and I just lost control and started humping him. We lost our rhythm and slammed uselessly against each other for a few thrusts.

There were so many things I wanted to say to him. I wanted to tell him that I loved him so much I couldn't stand it but I knew that if I did, we'd be over and he'd never speak to me again. So I held my feelings inside. Then I felt him start to slam me even harder. I was very close to coming. Holding it back was like trying to prevent a tidal wave with a Dixie cup but I fought. I didn't want to let go until I felt him spurting inside of me. The first drops were as hot as molten lava and then I just spun out of control and screamed so loudly I thought they could hear me back at home.

We just lay there, spent, with him on top of me as our bodies spasmed trying to regain control. Then he did the dumbest thing he could have done. He plastered his mouth to mine. I opened my mouth and started sucking his tongue and then he was hard again and we started fucking all over again.

"I'm sorry about the kiss," he said.

"Bill just fuck me," I replied. "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me."

* * * * * *

Bill

After telling Kirk to stay away from Irene, things just flip flopped. I stayed away from the cafe where Rebecca ate lunch. I tried as hard as I could to purge her from my mind. Much in the same way that sinners and drunks completely reverse themselves when they get religion or start a twelve step program; I started working on my marriage. When I went home each night, I helped Irene with the cooking or the dishes and I spent time talking to her or watching TV with her each night. She wasn't the young pretty girl that I'd married but I decided that at least part of that was my fault.

I started making suggestions that maybe she should start to run with me or maybe we could join a gym together. It was a huge mistake.

I looked at it in two ways. The first was that in my renewed love and appreciation for my wife, I wanted her to be the best that she could be. I wanted her to be healthier so she could live longer and we could enjoy our lives together both longer and better. It was also a way for us to spend more time together, because this way when I went out to run or do a workout, she could come with me and walk or run or do her own workout.

The second reason was purely selfish, but I wanted her to look a little better too. Irene had been really attractive when we first met but we'd been so young then. For over eight years she'd simply let herself go. I guess she thought that since we already had each other there was no need for her to go around putting on makeup or working out. But I really wanted the world to see how pretty she could be and why I'd been attracted to her in the first place.

Of course, Irene took it completely the wrong way. I didn't find out until later that she thought that it meant that I thought that she was fat and ugly so I was urging her to drop some weight because I found her unattractive. She started to distance herself from me at exactly the time that I was trying to pull us closer together.

Life is really funny that way. For weeks I'd tried to pull away or get away from Irene. Now I was trying to get closer to her and she was pulling away. At the same time, I'd been doing everything I could to find out as much as possible about Rebecca and how she was living her life. Now I was disgusted by Rebecca, so naturally you know what happened. I should point out, of course, that at this point Rebecca and I had never actually ever spoken to each other. Our entire relationship or fantasy relationship had been played out in my head. I'd seen her, fallen in love with her, then I'd built a whole relationship and future around the person I thought she was. When the reality of what she really was didn't live up to my fantasy, I'd broken up with her in my head and fallen back in love with my wife.

No one knew about it except for me and maybe Kirk, so no one got hurt, right? We can all have as many fantasies as we want.

The problem was that Rebecca had noticed me. Perhaps it was because of things Kirk might have mentioned, or maybe she'd just seen me around the café, but things changed. My fantasy began to intrude on my real life and at the worst possible moment.

Kirk and I had met at the café to discuss the possibility of him working for me. He'd lost his job recently and was looking for a new position. I was hesitant at first because the idea of having friends work for you doesn't always pan out. Sometimes friends expect the friendship to override the business aspects of the situation. They start violating rules or slacking off because they're sure their old buddy won't fire them.

Kirk had asked for the meeting at the café and to be truthful I'd forgotten about Rebecca. I agreed to the meeting because I wanted to lay down the ground rules before Kirk formally applied for the job. I had to let him know that I wouldn't give him any slack during working hours. Doing that wouldn't be fair to my other employees. I actually did think that hiring Kirk might work out because as the situation with Rebecca had proven, Kirk did have a way of getting things done. Those skills might actually benefit my company. Little did I know that Kirk had pretty much assumed he had the job and this meeting served an entirely different purpose.

Kirk and I had been talking about the parameters of what he'd do for my company and salary and bonuses and benefits. We talked about all of the things you'd expect to cover at an interview. The difference is we did it in a relaxed setting so we also had time for jokes and reminiscing about old times.

We were talking about something that had happened years ago at my bachelor party when Rebecca walked over to our table and said hello to Kirk. He started talking to her and she sat down. Luckily for me, my watch chimed and I pretended that it had been set to remind me of a meeting.

"Sorry Kirk," I said. "I have a meeting to hit. It was nice meeting you, ma'am." I got the hell out of dodge quickly and efficiently. That was the closest I'd actually come to her and my polite exit was the first time I'd ever spoken to her. The only thing I noticed that was different was that she smelled really good. But I found myself wondering what she smelled like after screwing five or six guys in a motel room.

I also realized how lucky I was. All of my plans and machinations could have led to me being in the same position that her husband was in. A few months of her giving me all...probably most of her attention to set the hook; then years of indifference while she screwed half of the guys in the phone book. Finally there'd be a divorce with her getting more of my assets than she deserved. I'd end up paying for her to fuck as many guys as she wanted until she found another sucker. God I was lucky. I'd dodged a real high caliber bullet. I kept thinking, "Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it."

Meanwhile, I had a very caring and faithful little woman at home, who, while not a raving beauty, was all mine and wouldn't cheat on me. She'd even resisted the master horn dog. Sure we had a few issues but most couples did.

A few days later I was on top of my game. Things had begun to thaw at home with Irene and we were in a good place. She'd given me a chance to explain the whole workout thing. She had actually kissed me like we used to when we were younger once I'd explained to her why I wanted her to start running with me.

At the same time, I'd just completed a negotiation with a company that would eventually become my biggest customer and raise the value of my business immensely. It had been a tough couple of days and both companies had considered walking away from the table at least once, but we'd finally hammered out a contract that would benefit both companies. I was on the verge of becoming rich. My timing was perfect too. If this had happened a little earlier it would have cost me a lot more money.

Anyway, I decided to grab a quick bite for lunch. I went to the café out of habit. Almost as soon as I sat down, I smelled flowers and Rebecca slid smoothly into the seat across from me. She smiled at me broadly. A few weeks before, I'd have been thrilled to have her sitting with me, but now I had a completely different reaction.

It's really funny the way our minds affect our senses. We are far more tolerant of a person's physical flaws when we like them. When I first looked at Rebecca, I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She really isn't, she's actually kind of ordinary, but she just has, like I mentioned before, an air of sensuality that just makes you think of sex.

When I used to look at her, it was like the sunshine followed her around. I swear to God I thought she sparkled like a diamond. But now sitting directly across from her, separated only by the table, it was like I could see cooties crawling on her. Up close, you could make out the lines in the corners of her eyes and her skin wasn't as smooth and blemish free as I'd imagined. Up close I could see the forty year old woman.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked.

"Bill, are you playing hard to get?" she asked. "Is that your game? Because if it is, it's working really well."

"What are you talking about," I asked.

"Bill, I know you like me," she smiled. "And I know how much. Kirk told me all about it. I did have to dig some of it out of him, but I think it's kind of cute."

"I think Kirk got the wrong idea," I said. "I did find you attractive, but you know how that goes. We often see people that we think are nice looking, but the fact is that I'm married."

"Me too," she smiled. "See we already have something in common. But it doesn't have to stop us from having any fun. And who knows, maybe we'd be better off being married to each other than to the losers we picked. Kirk says your wife is a frumpy little housewife. You deserve better than that. I think you deserve me. And my husband is such a fucking loser, let me tell you. Wouldn't it be good if I could somehow just blink and the two of them ended up together? It would be just like on I dream of Jeannie. I could just blink my troubles away."

"I've got an even better one," I said smiling. "What if you just blink yourself the fuck away from me? Irene may be frumpy, but at least she's not a whore. And the person that deserves better isn't you; it's your husband." I got up and walked away leaving her sitting there with her mouth flapping like a fish out of water. As I left the café I saw Bonnie clapping her hands and giving me the thumbs up sign.

I called Kirk back at the office. Marsha Brady, our office secretary, told me that Kirk had left for lunch soon after I did. I called his cell phone because my old buddy and I needed to have a talk. I don't know why he'd told Rebecca about me, but he shouldn't have. He shouldn't have shot his mouth off about Irene either. Knowing Kirk, I was sure that he was belittling Irene because she hadn't fallen for his bullshit. I realized that Irene had been right all along. Maybe Kirk wasn't the kind of person I should be hanging out with.

That thought made me do something I hadn't done in years. Instead of going back to work, I stopped off at a flower shop and bought two dozen roses. I decided to surprise Irene at home and maybe take her out to a nice dinner.

I pulled into my driveway next to Irene's Taurus. Seeing it made me realize that I needed to get her a better car. Maybe she'd like one of those Lincoln MKZs.

I used my key and walked into the house. I looked in the kitchen and didn't see her. I heard her moving around upstairs. I heard a thumping sound. I slowly and quietly walked up the stairs. I wondered what she was doing. Maybe she'd started her own workout program without letting me know it. The thumping was kind of rhythmic.

The door to my bedroom was half open. I could see them before I got close. Somehow my brain refused to process what was going on.

"Kirk, stop it. I told you I don't like that," said Irene. "I don't even know why I let you come back. I told you last time was supposed to be the end of this."