The Interrogation of Raymond Collins

This was inspired by a recent news story.

Transcription by C. R. James. ID # 37105

Interrogation conducted by Detective Sergeant Lloyd Harrison. badge # 7904

November 14, 2022

1520 hrs.

Detective Harrison Mr. Collins, I'm Detective Harrison and I'm here to get your version

of today's events. Let's start with your name and address.

Prisoner Raymond Collins, 1997 Chevrolet Suburban. License WBC 7135

DH No Sir, I need your home address.

RC Since the wife served me with divorce papers I've been living in the Suburban.

DH Well, where have you been parking? A friends house or a church? I need a physical address.

RC I park wherever it feels safe for the night, usually somewhere close to work.

DH What's your occupation?

RC Master Machinist at Globe Tech. I've been there sixteen years

DH Alright. How did todays incident come about. Take your time.

RC My wife divorced me. After twenty two years. said she needed a change. Wanted to explore who she was. It turned out she was a cheating bitch. had been fucking some guy for a couple of years and he'd convinced her she could clean me out and they'd be golden.

So she went to this bastard lawyer Wagner and got papers that ordered me out of my own house. The fuckin' house I made all the payments on, took out the remodeling loan on, paid that off. My fuckin' home. I had to get out.

She and the lawyer had locked all the savings and checking accounts and all the credit cards because "They didn't want me raiding them". But they did.

So I'm in the Suburban.

Last Thursday we're in court. Her lawyer, by the way I'm supposed to pay for him, her lawyer is wanting the house, her car, half the savings, half my pay check for spousal support, and get this; a thousand dollars a month for child support.

Child Support. The bitch is seven months pregnant, we haven't fucked in over a year, and I had my tubes cut when my daughter was born eighteen years ago. At my wife's insistence. And her smug ass boyfriend is sitting right behind her. Grinning at me.

But the Judge, she says that as long as we are still legally married the baby is mine and I have to support it until it's eighteen.

My lawyer had to hold me down when I heard that.

Oh, and she even got the dog. She hates that dog. My daughter told me Thursday after noon the bitch dropped the dog off at the shelter. No one is going to take a ten year old dog with medical problems. So either he's going to spend the rest of his life in jail - like me, or they'll euthanize him. The fuckin' bitch.

DH So why did you go to the lawyers office today?

RC To ask him if there was some way to modify the order. My lawyer was done. He'd gone through my retainer and I don't have any more money to keep him.

DH And the lawyer told you what?

RC Not a chance. The law is the law, Blah blah blah.

DH Is that when you shot him?

RC Yeah, kinda. I've had my gun on my hip since I started living in the Suburban. Without really thinking I pulled it and put it right between his eyes and told him I wanted changes. He was sweatin' big time but said it was a court order and he couldn't change it.

So I pulled the trigger. Then pumped a couple more in him for good measure. The receptionist came running in and screamed I just told her to beat it. I didn't have a quarrel with her.

DH But why the fire?

RC I don't know. I guess just because he had pissed me off. I did tell him to go to hell when I pulled the trigger. maybe I wanted to get him started in the right way. So I grabbed a gallon of gas from the Suburban, shook it around the office and lit it off.

Then I went out to the Suburban, turned on the radio and waited.

A couple minutes later the Fire Department rolled up with a cop right behind. My gun was on the dash in plain sight, my hands on the wheel.

DH The report says you offered no resistance and that you were read your Rights. Is that correct? And you made this statement of your own free will?

RC Yes.

DH Well I guess that wraps up my portion of this, I'm sure the Prosecutor will be talking to you.

RC Yeah I'm sure. Couple of funny things though ...

DH Oh, what?

RC First, as of now I'm out of a job, can't make any of those payments. The bitch will lose the house, the car, the credit cards. Lover boy will have to get a job and support his brat.

If she'd been just a little more patient she could have had everything for free.

RC How?

DH I have Stage Four prostate cancer. I found out two months ago. The Doctor said I might have six months to live.

RC Then why did you care what the judge ruled?

DH Because she flaunted her infidelity. Not just to me, she flaunted her cheating to the whole fuckin' world. Even to her own daughter. She paraded through court with her fat fuckin' belly and then wanted ME to pay for the bastard.

RC But why did you kill the attorney? He didn't do all that to you.

DC Seemed like a good idea at the time. Fuck'em all.

Signed Lloyd Harrison, Detective Sergeant, Badge # 7904