All Comments on 'The Lake House Ch. 01'

I happen to enjoy character and plot development. In a real world situation, this is probably how a romance would develop.

these fucking grammar Nazis were just upset because they can't write as good of a story fuck the punctuations they are not necessary so all of you pussies that are writing anonymous comments kiss my ass this guy is an excellent writer

A great tease so I'm about to start chapter 2

Literature is about evoking a feeling in others. Popular spelling of words and the use of common grammatical expressions are irrelevant. They are only used to make reading the literature easier. Remember, great writers have created new words and violated the common grammatical rules of their era. Only those who don't really care worry about spelling and punctuation.

The more serious problem with your story is logic. The protagonists supposedly live on only a nurses salary. I assume you mean they live just above the poverty line and yet median pay for nurses in San Jose is $122,000. Then it is snowing on the house in which they live and yet they are walking around nude. Was there an incredible fire in the place? Did they have free central heating? Of course if the mother is 42DD with a 24 inch waste, one should believe anything in this story.

And then there is "the crotch". His mother's crotch. Tell us about the crotch? Was she smooth, have a landing strip or a full bush? Why did it turn him on? Did she have a penis? No, it just shows up as the crotch.

So my advice is to think about what you write and ignore those who worry about common use of words and phrases: especially those who write grammatically incorrect sentenced about how your story has problems with grammar. It is literature, not mathematics.

Juvenile, and too many basic, basic punctuation and grammar errors. If you don't care, why should we?

You do need to tighten up the spelling and grammer, as others have stated. All in all you have a pretty good story. I'm about to read ch 02 now. Keep writing, you seem to be a natural story teller.

Get an editor or proofreader. Way too many spelling and/or grammar errors.

... and it could use some punctuation, too. Only worth 3 stars.

That's young Garrett getting his first good look at the wonderful hairy hole between his mother's legs, the same hole he came out of. This story is the terrific start of a series by a highly talented and promising writer who's 18 to 22 years old. KP is definitely interested in the exciting topic of moms and sons messing around, as shown in his other stories and also in his fine poem expressing a boy's love for his mother's vagina. The Lake House is simmering with the suppressed urges of Garrett and his mom, the son drawn to the beautiful sight of his mother's abundant tits and above all to the paradise between her legs, his mother equally drawn to what he's got between his. Mom is a mischievous minx, she's constantly darting glances and drawing attention to what her boy's got jumping around in his pants. Then she gets them both butt-naked, and Garret discovers the amazing liberating feeling of having his young cock big and hard right in front of his mother and seeing his mother smiling, with her legs spread wide and showing off her moistening mommy-hole to her boy. Five starts of course, and I can't wait for the next installment.

Ya gotta have some SEX to get more than 3 stars.

I like the story, but it needs editing/polishing to make it easier to read. Give us more.

Great start, definitely want more.

Those are the three words I hate the most, TO BE CONTINUED...............Please don't fool with us. You have a good story going, don't stop now.....Thanks for the read.

Please! Edit to work! Spelling and punctuation are your worst enemy! It is very annoying to see misspelled words and lack of punctuation that forces the reader to re-read the text to make sense!

Punctuate this: Woman without her man is nothing. See the possibilities?