The Light of Dawn

As I transcribed those feelings from my heart to my hands, the written words that were left in their wake conveyed every single emotion I felt and/or was still feeling. I wrote until I could remember no more; and two hundred and ninety-one pages later, I suddenly found that I had been almost fully liberated of the emptiness I once felt in my soul.

Everything I put down on paper that day made me realize that God given me the ability to express an ocean full of pure heartfelt emotions in only so many words. I also knew that I'd been given another chance, and that it was time to not only start writing again, but start living again as well, and for that I was thankful.

I stood up, feeling somewhat better than I'd felt in quite a few months now, and took the box full of pages that I'd just typed inside the house, placing the it on the kitchen table along with my type-writer. Then I went upstairs and took a shower.

I had let myself go over the past months, not shaving and badly in need of a hair-cut. So, after my shower, I got dressed and headed into town. There was a barber shop that Uncle Mike went to where I could get an old-fashioned shave-and-a-haircut.

~~~~~~

I saw Dawn's car in the driveway when I got back home that evening, and I was pleasantly surprised by the feeling of relief that washed over me. I hoped she would be willing to accept the deepest apology that I sorely owed her. She was right when she called me a selfish prick. I had been wallowing so deep in my own self pity that I'd turned my back on Dawn, emotionally, when she'd needed me the most; and now I prayed for her forgiveness.

"Anybody home?" I loudly announced, as I walked through the front door. I was disappointed when I heard no answer, but it wasn't for long. Because the moment I walked around the corner, I was almost overcome by hugs and kisses, surrounded in a flurry of long dark brown hair.

Dawn said nothing, but simply held on, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck, her own way, since childhood, of expressing her feelings to me. "I love you, Scott," she finally said, "And I'm really sorry about what I said yesterday."

"Come on, baby girl," I replied, taking her by the hand and setting her down at the kitchen table. Then pulling up a chair beside her, I held her hands in mine, and looking into her big dark brown eyes, I smiled and said, "I'm the one who should be apologizing to you, sweet girl. After the accident, I crawled into a shell and hid myself from the world. I pushed everyone who tried to help me completely away. In the process, I ended up hurting a lot of people, the most important of whom was you. I'm so very sorry for turning you away when you needed me the most, and I hope that you can forgive me, sweet girl."

"Scott," she smiled, "There's nothing to forgive, okay?"

~~~~~~

After she graduated high school, Dawn went to the University of Tennessee on an academic scholarship, majoring in engineering. I missed her badly while she was gone that first semester, and when she back came home for Thanksgiving that first time; I noticed that, gone now was the little girl who left home four months earlier, and in her place returned a young woman that would grow to be even more beautiful than I'd ever imagined.

"Did you miss me?" she asked, as I greeted her at the door.

"You know I did," I chuckled, tickled to see her, "Wow, you look amazing."

"Thanks, Scott," she blushed, as she came through the door, "You look good, as always." Then taking her bags, she trotted up the stairs to her room, turning and winked at me and giggling as she closed the door behind her.

~~~~~~

"I wanted to thank you for the dozen roses you sent me on my birthday, Scott," Dawn cooed, as we sat down to dinner that night, "You know that all of my sorority sisters are all jealous of me because I live with you."

"No," I laughed, "I didn't know that, but you're welcome for the flowers just the same."

"The president of my sorority is an English major," she giggled, "And she knows all about you."

"Cool," I teased, "Maybe she and I need to meet."

"I don't think so, Mister," she momentarily glared, then smiled, "Oh, that reminds me; will you be my escort to the Spring Formal?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No," she curtly replied, "You don't."

"Okay sweetie," I smiled, "I'll go with you."

"Thank you, Scott," she grinned, jumping up from her seat, coming around the table to sit in my lap, and then throwing her arms around my neck, "I really missed you while I was gone."

"I missed you, too," I replied, holding her tightly.

~~~~~~

Our second Christmas without her/our family was solemn for Dawn and me. But, Aunt Lauren and Uncle Mike chased away the gloom, making it pleasant for both Dawn and myself.

~~~~~~

When I arrived in Knoxville, Tennessee the afternoon of Dawn's Spring Formal that night, the first place I went was to my hotel room, which I'd booked in advanced. Once I was checked in and was in my room, I called Dawn to let her know that I was in town, and what hotel I was staying at. As always, she squealed over the phone when she heard my voice, telling me that she would be there shortly.

~~~~~~

Twenty minutes later there was a knock at my hotel room door. I was greeted by Dawn as she squealed the moment the door was open, and as always, threw her self against me, and into my arms. However, as opposed to the kiss I normally received on the cheek, this time she openly kissed my lips, and cooed, "Hi, Scotty, I've sure have missed you."

"I missed you, too," I smiled, as I noticed there was another girl with her, "Well, who is this?"

"Oh, yeah," Dawn giggled, blushing, "This is my roommate, Sherry Hawkins."

"Hi Sherry," I smiled, "It's nice to meet you."

It's nice to meet you, too, Mister Powers," she girlishly giggled, "I absolutely love your books. I've got every single one of them, too."

"Thank you," I politely replied, "I'm glad you like them, and my name is Scott."

~~~~~~

Ever since Dawn came home from college that first time, I began to notice that she was definitely growing up. She was no longer that little girl that I used to throw over my shoulder and wrestle in the pool with. Now she was a fully grown woman, and while my Claire had been the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen; Dawn possessed a rare and treasured beauty like none before her. Granted, she was only nineteen at the time, but because of everything that had happened to her at this point in her life; she had a maturity about her that was seemingly way beyond her years. I was certain that I was the only one that could see her vulnerability, but that was only because I knew her so well.

~~~~~~

After following the directions she'd given me, I pulled up in front of Dawn's sorority house at six o'clock that evening, just as I'd been instructed... (Sound familiar?). I got out of my car and walked up to the house and knocked on front door. I was greeted by a very pretty girl with long blonde hair, and dressed in formal attire.

"May I help you?" she asked smiling.

"Yes," I grinned, "I'm here to pick up Dawn Rogers."

"Oh my goodness," she giggled, "You're Scott Powers, aren't you?" And then before I had a chance to respond, she turned her head to her left, looking at someone unseen and shouted, "HE'S HERE, YOU GUYS!!!"

Suddenly I found myself surrounded by several girls, all of them dressed to kill, and each one of them with a copy of one, or in some cases, all three of my books. I had been to more than several book signings by this time, but not once had I been mobbed like this. Of course, I most certainly enjoyed the fact that they were all female, but these girls were treating me like I was some kind of rock star or something. Man, it was crazy!

"Uh, Excuse me, ladies," said a sweet and familiar voice behind me, making everyone turn and look. The sight I beheld that evening was nothing short of spectacular. Dawn was dressed in a deep blue halter style dress, which had a spilt up the side, stopping about five inches below her hip, one fourth of the way down the outside of her thigh. Her figure was an exact duplicate of Claire's, with the exception of her breasts, although Dawn's were only smaller by maybe a cup size at the very most. Where she normally wore her long hair down on her shoulders, she now had it stylishly done up on her head; with little brown wisps of hair softly bouncing down her temples. Her make-up was flawless, and with the heels she was wearing, she stood almost as tall as me, making her look statuesque.

However, before I had the chance to comment, she marched into the throng of her sorority sisters, and firmly said, "Will you ladies please stop mauling my date? He didn't come here to sign books. He came here to escort me to the Spring Formal." Her comments were followed by groans and whines, with a few dirty looks thrown in for good measure, from the other girls.

But these same girls had gone out and bought my books, which also pays my bills so, after sweetly looking into Dawn's eyes, I politely asked, "May I speak to you privately please?"

Taking me by the hand, she turned and said, "Follow me," making heart almost stop when I saw that the back of her dress was so low that is stopped just past the rise of her ass.

~~~~~~

"Listen, sweetie" I told Dawn, once we were in the other room, "These girls all went out and bought copies of my books because they know you. You don't want to disappoint them do you?"

"No," she pouted, "Aren't even you going to say anything about the way I look, Scott?"

I leaned down and quickly kissed her lips and then softly said, "Are you kidding me? You look gorgeous, baby girl."

"You always know just what to say to make me feel beautiful, Scott," she cooed, "Thank you, handsome."

"You're welcome," I smiled, taking her hand, "Now come on and let me sign these books for your friends."

~~~~~~

Her sorority sisters were all seemingly thrilled and content that I had autographed their copies of my books. And while I signed books, Dawn sat proudly beside me, her hand on my knee, which was her subtle way of letting the other girls know that I was strictly off-limits. She had always been that way with me, even when Claire was alive. I always thought it was cute and never paid any mind. However, things were very different now, and because of the trauma that had been thrust upon us, we had both become very different people.

~~~~~~

The Spring Formal was nice, as it provided Dawn and I the opportunity to spend a fun evening together. She allowed a few of her friends to dance with me on the fast songs, but all of the slow ones were strictly hers. She held me ever so closely, and made it a point to tell me several times that night that she loved me. Of course I told her the same thing, but I felt the intention of something far more meaningful when she said it.

As we sat back down from dancing, a tall and rather busty and curvy, red-haired beauty made her way to our table. And then leaning down to speak to Dawn, she flashed a smile that was as transparent as Glad Wrap™, and with a syrupy sweet, almost sickening, southern accent, chirped, "Well, hi there, Dawn honey, you need to introduce me to your handsome date."

Rolling her eyes, Dawn flatly said, "This is Kristy Sanders, the vice-president of our sorority. Kristy, this is Scott Powers."

"I'm so charmed to make your acquaintance, sir," she regally replied, "Little Dawn here, has told me so much about you."

"Puh-leez," Dawn sarcastically laughed, eliciting an icy glare from Kristy.

"It's nice to meet you," I politely replied, sensing a tension building between the two women.

"Oh, and he's so polite, too," Kristy tittered, "I think you should buy me a drink, Scott, dear."

"I think you should take a hike, Kristy, dear," Dawn growled, mocking her.

"What did you just say to me, freshman?" Kristy snottily quipped.

"You heard me," Dawn replied, rising from her seat with fire in her eyes, "Hit the bricks and leave him alone."

"Maybe he'd like to find out what it is to be with a woman instead of a child," Kristy taunted.

"You, a woman?" laughed Dawn, "How can you say that, when your hair color only costs about twelve bucks a bottle. And don't get me started on whose cock you had to suck in order to get him to pay for those big fake udders that you need to go with your big fat ass. So, beat it, and leave us alone, you cow."

"Go back to your family, little girl," Kristy hissed, "Oh, I forgot," she laughed, "Your family is dead."

I shot straight up from my chair with an anger which I'd never felt before, and growled, "That's enough!" Then I glared at Kristy and said, "If you don't, or perhaps can't understand plain English, let me make it easy for you. Get the fuck out of here, now!"

"Well, I never," she replied in a huff, turning to leave.

"You have now, bitch," Dawn giggled, as Kristy stomped away.

~~~~~~

Dawn decided to spend that night in my room. Hell, we'd slept together in the same bed on a number of occasions when she would spend the night with us as a little girl; and this would be no different, or so I thought. We stopped at the sorority house for her to pick up a bag that she had pre-packed, and then we went to my hotel.

~~~~~~

"I meant to tell you when I was here earlier that I like this hotel room, Scott," Dawn chirped brightly.

"It's called a suite," I nervously replied, "But there's only one bed, I wasn't expecting company.

"Come on, Scott," she giggled, "Are you afraid to sleep in the same bed with me?"

"Of course I'm not afraid," I lied, "I'm not afraid at all."

"Well then, I'm going to go change into something a little more comfortable," she smiled, "Why don't you call down and order room service? Besides, I know that you haven't eaten anything and I'm sure that you're hungry. I know I am."

"Alright," I grinned, picking up the phone as she made her way to the bedroom, carrying her bag down the hall. I still couldn't keep my eyes off of her in that dress, my God, she was beautiful.

~~~~~~

Moments later, Dawn emerged from the bathroom dressed in a pair of very tight cut-off sweat shorts, and a form-fitting tank top that made it quite obvious that she was not wearing a bra beneath it. As I'd said earlier, Dawn had a figure that was almost exactly like Claire's with the exception of her breasts, and it was all I could do to keep from staring. But how could not stare? Dawn was every man's dream; as well as every woman's envy.

I began to feel a tightening in my shorts that had not been there since Claire died, and while it felt good, a sense of guilt for having those feelings for Dawn made it fade away as quickly as it began. "What's wrong, Scott?" she asked, sensing a sudden change in my mood.

"Oh, nothing really," I lied, "I guess I'm just a little tired, that's all,"

Before Dawn could respond, room service knocked on our door and the matter was dropped...at least for the time being. We ate a nice leisurely dinner, not saying a whole lot, and then when we were finished, retired to bed.

~~~~~~

"Thanks for coming tonight, Scott," Dawn smiled as we climbed into bed, "I had a really nice time."

"You're Welcome," I replied, turning off the light, "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"I love you, Scott," she breathed, suddenly kissing my lips while pressing the length of her body against mine.

However, before I could respond, I heard a contented little sigh escape her throat as she laid her head on my chest so, I simply smiled while wrapping my arm around her and replied, "I love you, too, sweet girl."

~~~~~~

I suddenly awoke in the middle of the night feeling something warm and wonderful pressing against my cock, which was now harder than I could ever remember it being. And as I became more alert, I realized that I had a handful of something soft, yet firm, and wonderfully full. When I opened my eyes, I discovered, much to my horror, that Dawn and I were spooning. Her shorts molded themselves to every curve and crevice, and I discovered that my cock was now snugly wedged between the beautifully sculpted globes of her ass, and that my right hand was on her breast.

She was still asleep, but she must've been having a sexy dream, her ass wiggling against me, and her nipple was about to bore a whole through my palm. And had I lain there a few minutes more, I would've surely cum. But just as I was about to give in to the animal lust I was feeling, the guilt of what I was doing set in, making me slowly pull away from her and get out of the bed.

~~~~~~

I sat out on the balcony of my hotel suite in a state of total confusion, even more so at knowing that my life had come to an impasse. On the one hand, Claire had made me promise to look out for Dawn; and there was no way in hell that I would ever renege on that. But at the same time, I was beginning to experience feelings for Dawn that I knew, in my heart, weren't proper. Hell, I'd known Dawn since she was a child. "But you were a child back then, too," the voice inside my head said, "You're only a little less than five years older than her, you idiot!"

I was suddenly broken out of my reverie, when a soft hand touched the back of my neck, followed by, "Hey, handsome," softly spoken by an all too familiar female voice behind me.

"Hi, sweet girl," I smiled, "Why aren't you asleep?"

"Well," she cooed, sitting in my lap and wrapping her arms around me, "There's an empty place in the bed where you're supposed to be."

"Dawn, sweetie," I said, deciding to take the bull by the horns, "We need to have a talk, and I don't think...."

"No, Scott," she firmly interrupted, her eyes beginning to fill with tears, "I know what you're going to say, and I'm not listening. Besides, this isn't the time or the place for it." Then she angrily jumped up from my lap and added, "But you're right. We do need to talk, and I'm coming home for spring break in ten days so that we can do that very thing," and without another word, she turned and went back inside, with the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut moments later. I guess I was going to be sleeping on the couch for the rest of the night.

~~~~~~

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I found Dawn sitting in a chair across from the couch I'd been sleeping on, dressed in sweats and tennis shoes. "Good morning," I said.

"Hi," she quietly answered, her eyes red from crying. "Would you like some breakfast, sweet girl?"

"No, thank you," she dispassionately replied, "I've got to get back and study for a test on Monday."

"Do you need me to take you back right now?" I asked, a bad feeling beginning to rise from the pit of my stomach.

"If it's not too much trouble, Scott," she said.

~~~~~~

The conversation between us on the ride back to her sorority house was minimal, strained at best. And when I pulled up to the house, she leaned over and kissed my cheek. Then right before she opened the car door to get out, she put her palm to my cheek, and with a sad smile, said, "I want you to know that I love you very much, Scott."

I didn't want to leave her like this, but I didn't want to hurt her any more than I had apparently already done. So I simply smiled, then took her palm from my face, and kissing it, softly replied, "I love you, too, sweet girl."

With my heart literally breaking into pieces, I drove away as soon as I saw that she was safely inside. And as I left Knoxville later that morning, I felt like I was leaving a huge piece of my heart behind.

~~~~~~

Chapter Ten

I got home eight hours later, and even though I was tired from all the driving I'd done; I still found no peace. It was nearing five o'clock in the afternoon, and I wanted, no, needed someone to talk to. That was when I decide to go see Aunt Lauren and Uncle Mike. They had always been there for me, and no doubt, they would still be there.