All Comments on 'The Loners Ch. 01'

... and I usually hate vampire stories

I really enjoyed this and I can't wait to see where you take it from here. Keep up the good work.

alright now youve got me hooked. When is the next one?

So far, this seems to be an interesting story. I hope you continue it.

How long have you been stalking me?

I'd like to thank everyone for their kind words and votes, along with letting you know that you won't have to wait long for Ch. 02 or Ch. 03. However, I'm confused, I wasn't aware that I was stalking someone, unless there was something I missed?

You could use a good editor, though. I noticed a couple of run-on sentences, some unclear pronoun references, and a few other nit-picky issues that made it harder to follow the story. Keep working at it, and you'll get better, but even the best writers benefit from editing.

I guess I'm a loser too..

My life is like his instead I'm a woman, I play ff 13 and I'm a chef. Every thing else is the same though...

On that note..as a nerd I know exactly what he is going through...no vampires though..gotta read this to see one of my kind be happy in the end..

All hail the power of nerds!

likin it so far.

The guy that mentioned stalking was suggesting that your main character reflects him.

You really arent in desperate need of an editor. A few problems, but none of them major. And I have pretty high standards, strange since my comments usually fail to reach them. Anyway, thanks for making this an easy read.

Also I went and watched episodes 1 and 2 of elfen lied. Not an anime fan but kinda cool. A whole lot of titties (barbie doll smooth downstairs), a whole lot of detached body parts. I dont ask for much more to be honest. And the part with the dude dressing her was awesome.

Anyway, im gonna continue with your story. Good work.

nice background build up

I can really relate to this character. I'm more secretive about my manga,manhwa, and anime. I tell my friends soon... Or a lot more later and hopefully they'll accept my hobbies.

its nice to see a protagonist i can relate to for once. it really helps that this chapter is building up to something as well, not just another "oh hi lets fuck" story.

...chapter I've read on here that didn't involve sex.

Great story, I can relate to the character to the point were I wonder if u have been stalking me lol.

Wow it's a shame that I see myself in Alan. Except for the good at Call Of Duty part. :p I wish I could meet someone like Rachel. I love your irreverent humor throughout keep up the good work!

It's rare to find a character that's easy to relate to. Good story though I am curious why it's in scifi/fantasy instead of nonhuman.

Except I don't play Call of Duty.

But everything else is pretty much the same. (Oh, and One Piece over Naruto ANY day.)

The pain that the main character tells of explains the same pain I feel better than I will ever be able to.

XIII

its kinda creepy how this guy is so similar, friking mirror image

I love your protagonist. He seems so much more real than so many others on this site, which is filled with young studs with 12 inch cocks and women who become wet as soon as they enter the room.

This line really got to me: "My failures in this department forced the question of just who would be interested in me anyways?" That about sums up my history with women. I've tried so many times to "connect" with the opposite sex and have always come away dejected and discouraged.

It has now reached the point where I've completely given up. I've simply been rejected too many times to try anymore. It doesn't help that I'm 27 and have never done anything with a girl beyond heavy petting, and this was but one instance that occurred back when I was a teenager, and neither of us even really enjoyed it.

Oh, if only some hot supernatural babe would storm into my life and save me. It's a great fantasy, and I look forward to reading more.

Well i love that writer is anime freak :)

I too love the animes...

To bad Elfen laid has only 12 episodes :)

Well i don't play videogames and i spend my time doing poetry as a hobby but manga is my mary jane, comics are my cocaine and anime is my acid. Shounen jump is my shrooms. Tell the truth I come here for the actual plot cause the stories with plot in regular websites have no romance, or they have romance but it's mainly 2 people blushing at each other for 7 GOD FORSAKEN VOLUMES!!!! ... plus all the mcs are like 12. Or shit is just sex sex sex and you are just waiting for the plot to get rolling. This seems like a good mix so far