All Comments on 'The Loners Ch. 14'

I didn't really like this chapter too much. I was really hoping that the family wasn't going to get killed off. I mean, it DID leave me emotionally flabbergasted which is probably what you were aiming for, but still, it was really a bit of a disappointment for me. I'm not going to jump to conclusions about the whole rest of the series because I've enjoyed it up until now, but if Alan ends up becoming dracula, that will be the double whammy that will just ruin the story for me. I also found that the entire assortment of sex toys was a bit ridiculous. Again, maybe that's what you were aiming for.

These are strictly my opinions and I by no means want to affect the reading pleasure of anyone else of the writing pleasure of you. This is your story and you can have it go whichever way you want.

I hope that Lord Constantine will allow Alan to avenge his family by having Alan, not turned, decapitate Lord Caleb. Rachel could participate in a ritual event.

The love between the three must be allowed to flourish.

I find the story to be very well written so far. On the contrary, I hope Alan does become the next Dracula, and is truly able to avenge his family. I have no criticisms whatsoever, but maybe a small suggestion( I hope you will not take offense, and it is your story) I feel that the Trinity you've created would be so much better if there were some action or event that truly cemented the three characters together. I sense bitterness from Alan toward Rachel, and very little love that seemed to be there in the beginning. I do feel that Katie fits well, and would find it a much more compelling story, were the three to truly bond, creating a power that no other Lord( or Lady ) will be able to stand against. Like I said, just a fans meager suggestion, but love the series. Look forward to the next chapter.

Sorry, but the strap on thing has just killed this entire series for me. Goodbye, don't think I'll bother continuing with this any more.

Speak about narrow mindedness, even on a website like this. Personally, I never thought of taking a strap-on up the ass and am not gay, but do find it intriguing.

That said about the previous comment, I love the series you've created. Just one minor thought: does the Dracula have to be male? Because it would be a novel twist if Katie was the Dracula. Alan would also be nice, but in the end a variation on a pretty standard, male, fantasy. I think it would fit the novelty of this story more if Katy turned out to be the centerstone of their triumvirate. But that is totally your decision.

Personally the strap on thing does absolutely nothing for me, and frankly I would rather it wasn't included. But then again it is your story so whatever, it's entirely up to you.

Either way though the plot itself is interesting enough that I'll keep on reading anyway. Even if I end up skipping a section or two lol

I had a feeling I was going to get a little beat up over it, but there are reasons why I have this element included.

The biggest and most important point of this element is the devotion one has to another lover. For instance, how many would be willing to bend their own boundries just a little for the sake of their lover if asked?

The other reason was to avoid repeating generic sex scenes. That's one thing that annoys me sometimes when it comes to long stories that I read here on this site. I feel like I'm reading the same thing over and over again. Every now and again, it would be nice if something slightly different, or in this case, slightly extreme gets thrown into the mix.

I'll be perfectly honest, the strap on idea isn't my preference either, and the idea doesn't turn me on at all. But, everyone has their quirks, and so do Alan and Rachel. Otherwise, they wouldn't be good characters.

Perhaps I better way to look at the style that this story is being written is that it is not a sex story, but a story with sex in it.

Now, to answer the Dracula question, yes, Dracula can either be a man or woman. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

And lastly, as for the direction and relationship of the Trinity, just as real life relationships can change and evolve overnight, so to will this one as it already has, and that's all I'll say for now.

The first thing I want to say is I really like the story you are writing. It is one of the most interesting stories I am currently reading. BUT this anal stuff with Alan has got me wanting to skip the whole next chapter just so I dont even come close to reading about it. I will say It is your story and free to write bout it. just not my cup of tea.

Thanks for writing more of this story. Take your time and write the story you want to write.. I can't wait to see the Vampire Lords going at it, and what big parts you have for Rachel/Allen/Katie to play.

This is great writing! Just one concern; Alan and Ratchel need to resolve feeding without killing people and it seems kind of silly for them to be obediently playing with sex toys while thousands of people and vampires are searching for them. Also, it would be cool if they end up doing something noble beyond just saving their own lives though I suppose that is a bit cliched. Keep writing!

Alan for Dracula

Alan's kind of a pussy, not because of the massage, but just how he acts =/

i wish you had not included this shit

For the dracula thing as long as katie doesn't become dracula I'm ok with that. But this strapon shit... why are you so fixated on that crap. You seem to really want to take a strapon up the ass unless you're a girl cuz then you have some dom issues and I saw that comment on how people shouldn't knock it cause of the website it's written on but if i wanted to read a story about a dude being a little pansy bitch I'd look it up. This is a story about lonely people connecting or some kind of shit. I never saw anything about this being a dom sub thing but this guy is taking shit up the ass a eating his own jizz its fucking gross. Plus I really really doubt rachel loves alan. Pretty sure this is a fresh relationship and she already falls in love with someone else, lies about her true self, disrespects all his wishes and cusses him out. This isnt love that is lust I really want him to leave her. Just lost his entire family. Cause of a little lying two faced bitch and some short stupid sex maniac. Yup sounds like love don't it.

Having people talk about all the things they're going to do to each other before they actually get started ruins the suspense and surprise. This may be a more realistic and gentler approach to kink, but in terms of erotica it doesn't make for good reading. Forcing characters to face insecurities in the moment is much more interesting. The scene from the beginning where Rachel was teasing Alan while he played games is a good example.

As for all the people complaining about the male submissive stuff, this is an erotic fiction website. Get over it. This isn't my kink, but I'm not bothered by it. If you spend enough time on Literotica you're going to run into stuff that isn't your cup of tea. Besides, it isn't entirely out of character. Rachel, being the vampire, is the more powerful of the two in this couple. I'm not sure why everyone is so surprised by them expressing that dynamic sexually.

See I wouldn't mind the strap on, if he stopped acting like a little bitch. A strap on? Alright, but I get to fuck you in the ass later too. Bam, problem fixed. Now if you want Alan to be a submissive character then that's another story. Unfortunately I detest submissive male characters.

I agree with PD this is bullsh*t

The story super tanked. Still having Alan play submissive sissy and no domination from him. Rachael saw how he reacted to all the toy crap and yet she still forces her choice on him? How inconsiderate from someone that is supposed to care and love him. Definitely 1 star.