The Loving Porn Queen Ch. 07

Just as we started to walk into the throng in the reception, Jessica Alba came up to Ed and gave him a big hug and kiss. They exchanged greetings and Ed then introduced Carl and me to her. She actually knew who I was even though she apologized for missing the screening of the film that afternoon. "I have tickets forTrial and Error though. I'll be there tomorrow," she called out over her shoulder as she moved on to work the crowd.

I lost count of the star-studded attendees we met at the event. We were all equals at this event and fell easily into conversations with whomever we stood next to. I chatted with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher until ex-hubby Bruce Willis pulled them away for another conversation. Kirsten Dunst told me she really had come there just for the skiing. Will and Jada Smith raved about the movie and hoped to see the second one the following day.

On and on the accolades came and from people I respected so highly for their artistic talent. My head swelled at the nice things they said to me about the film. I shared that emotion with Catherine Zeta-Jones; she laughed and told me to enjoy it while it lasted because as early as tomorrow we could be the subjects of some bad press or gossip. She said it could be truth or fiction but it wouldn't matter to anyone; it would just be juicy and everyone would eat it up.

I asked her how she coped with it. She said, "In the land of entertainment, there's no such thing as 'bad press.' It'll keep your name out there and sells tickets and DVDs and gets you your next role. People tend to forget the bad press and they'll still love you in the end."

I thanked her for her frank advice and told her we'd probably need it sooner rather than later given our migration from adult films to Festival ranked films. She said, "Count on the fact that someone will have a heyday with your backgrounds and all the intertwined relationships in your group. Just grit your teeth and keep doing what you love to do. Now when you get to LA Mike and I really want you to come visit -- alone or with the whole entourage. Here's my personal card and number; just call or e-mail me ... and definitely call me if things get rough. I've had it rough and I can help you out."

By the end of the evening we were full of all of the wonderful treats our hosts provided and a little tipsy. Ed had anointed himself as the designated driver many hours earlier after only one glass of wine.

June declared it to be Spouse Night on the way back to our rented home. We were all tired anyway, so I fell into bed and found dreamland seconds later.

The next day, in the morning, Ally and Ed had slipped off to the ski slopes for a few runs before we met for a late lunch. Carl and Sy had taken one of the video cameras and were off taking videos of anything interesting they could find.

The rest of us walked around and shopped in Park City's historic district. The sky had a white haze and looked ready to start snowing at any minute, however, except for a few errant snowflakes nothing really happened. The air had a bite. We all had about five layers of clothing on and then our winter boots -- mine are the ones I never get to wear in Texas.

About two o'clock we headed over to the larger auditorium where our second film was going to be shown starting at three o'clock. A line of people waited to see if they could get tickets to our film but I didn't see any familiar faces as we walked around the side of the building to the stage entrance.

"Oh hi," a voice said from the corner of the stage as we stood in the empty theater looking around. The same volunteer host we'd had the day before appeared down the aisle. I'm glad you came early; I always get worried. Sometimes we have 'no shows' from a cast; last year I had to introduce two films myself and we had no Q&A session even though we'd promised one; very awkward -- the audience expects to see people that were in the film or that made it."

I wandered around backstage waiting for the doors to open as I burnt off more nervous energy. Finally, at twenty minutes of three our volunteer unlocked the doors and the theater filled rapidly. Just before she introduced Mike and me, I noticed we'd reached the standing room only stage. We'd actually sold out! We kept our introductions short and again said we'd stay for Q&A at the end.

The film ran for eighty-two minutes. I tried to watch with a fresh eye and to gage the type of questions people might ask when seeing this for the first time. I decided the questions I thought of were unlikely to be asked, so I just settled back and watched the film for perhaps the one-hundredth time.

The audience had the same reaction as before -- a standing ovation that went on and on. As Ed, Mike and I went up on stage with our host to handle the Q&A, our volunteer host said to me, "This type of audience reaction is very rare. I've never heard of this kind of ovation happening at any of the films we show -- not like this. You are very special and I am honored to have been assigned to your films." I touched her arm and thanked her.

Just like the day before, we were introduced and fielded a few questions about our small independent film company and a question about our other two films.

An older although well-dressed man with a mean and sour demeanor then asked the question of all questions; I think he'd shown up just to harass us. "After seeing this film and the one you showed yesterday, I conclude that you a nothing more than swingers with a camcorder. Isn't that what you are - just a bunch of horny sluts and studs that decided to make a film? These films are a disgrace to the Festival and a disgrace to the sponsors. God sees you as having sinned; so help me, he will smite you down." The man crossed his arms in front of his chest in a defiant gesture.

For half a second, I glanced at our volunteer and her mouth had fallen open; she had that deer in the headlight look. I think she should have intervened and deflected the antagonistic questions, but this question froze her up. Mike looked stunned as well, and Ed looked back at me and shook his head at though to say 'Don't answer this one.'

In the next half second I became aware of a buzz in the audience about the hostile question. Clearly, most of the audience had liked the film since they gave us enthusiastic applause and cheers when it ended. This man must be an exception but others out there might feel the same way?

I felt an answer needed to be given and so I held my hand up to quiet the audience: "Let me give you some of the underlying philosophy of our family -- the one you just saw in this film and perhaps saw yesterday inLove Comes Twice. We each see a large distinction between fucking and screwing around - lust without love, and making love; between being self focused and seeking only self gratification in one's own orgasm, and fulfilling the needs and wants of someone you unconditionally love; between being insensitive and uncaring to the person you are with -- or perhaps in front of," I gestured to the man in the audience, "and having empathy, deep communication and support for the people around you. The former characteristics are how we define 'swingers' -- your terminology - and not a way of life any of us would choose to live; the latter are how we define ourselves and our extended family."

I went on looking the man squarely in the eye as he stood with his mouth agape, apparently shocked that I was taking him on, "We each take pleasure in giving to the people we love. For us, over time, this developed into the small group of people we introduced to you at the beginning of the film. We love each other and have learned more about sharing and giving to other people than anyone we have yet to meet or know. We are each our own person first, for we believe we must know ourselves in order to be able to give, empathize and love with others."

"We perhaps have defective genes in your opinion. We believe it is possible to love more than one person at a time. We don't subscribe to the concept of monogamy, but not because of some blind adherence to a Bible or other religious or social tenet but because we found that each of us has the capacity to give of ourselves to a few other people that we deeply care about."

"I continued, "We don't put demands on each other, nor do we feel the need for exclusivity and couplehood. We are a fluid group and put our time and attention on the people in our group that seem to need the attention at the time. We don't own each other and are not possessive; we are committed to each other but without ownership and most certainly without jealousy."

"We have had this family relationship for a little over a year and during that time we've made three films. I have never felt so satisfied, so loved, so cared for and so supported in my life, and I assure you I had very loving and caring parents growing up."

"Do we have problems and disagreement? Certainly we do. We have adopted the idea of lots of communication and seeking 'win-win' solutions to settle them. For our time together that approach has not yet failed us. We have different styles, needs, wishes, wants and desires; we see the world differently from each other. I take delight each day to learn these other viewpoints and traits from my friends."

"Because our films are so physical you might get the impression that our relationships are too." I laughed, "Well, we do have a physical side to our relationship and it's wonderful." I rolled my eyes towards heaven and most of the audience laughed, "yet please know that we have and foster the other sides of our being whole people with each other. We have intellectual pursuits, charitable ones, spiritual ones, athletic hobbies, and we have the rest of our families."

I went on for one last blast at the man that still stood staring at me. I noted that the usher had retrieved the microphone from his hands, a fact I appreciated. "You say we have sinned and that the wrath of God will be visited upon us. We feel that the greatest sin is the unlived life. This life is too short to allow the people you find you love to pass by with that love unrecognized and unfulfilled."

I looked at the man and said, "I urge you to change YOUR thinking and to change YOUR life. The venom that you feel about our films and us is out of place and certainly not welcome here or anywhere people talk of love, fulfillment and joy. We believe that what you give out comes back to you; if you give love, you get love in return. If you give hatred and venom, well, those things come back to you. Our films carry that message of love and sharing, and of joy and a blending of hearts. We recommend that you carry that message too -- all of you." I gestured across the audience. I sighed and ended response.

I found myself standing alone in the middle of the stage as I lowered the microphone. I wasn't quite sure how'd I'd migrated to center stage. I started to walk back to the panel table at the side of the stage.

After a long silence, the man that had asked the question plopped down in his seat.

Then one person in the audience started to clap, and then another, another rose and started clapping, then ten more, then thirty more, and soon the entire theater rose in the most thunderous ovation I'd ever heard. It didn't stop for many minutes.

People were yelling, "We agree! Please, can we get a copy of what you said? I love you; I love what you think. We love you. We love you. We love you." I got tears in my eyes again. I stood beside the panel table smiling at the audience.

Finally, after several minutes our volunteer host rose and put a hand up to quiet the audience. They were slow to respond yet they remained on their feet. She said above the continuing sound of acclamation for us all, "We note your response and thank you all for coming. We can't do anything further but end on this high note. Thank you all. Thank you all." A lot of the audience turned to gather their belongings and to leave, however, many started applauding and shouting their approval again.

She turned to us and urged us down the stairs beside the stage to join the others in the front row. People came up to us and thrust business cards in our hands asking for things I knew I'd never remember, but mostly copies of what I'd said a moment before. Most of the audience, although they kept applauding, filed out of the theater.

The eight of us gathered in a tight circle at the corner of the theater and engaged in a 'group hug'. Ed looked honored to be included and I think he'd found confirmation of his membership in our extended family. The few members of the audience that saw our hug cheered us even louder.

While at the Film Festival, we consented to an article inPeople magazine as well asTime magazine a week later. Much to my surprise my photo filled the cover ofPeople with the rest of our 'family' in the background all looking very content and happy. Most of the article talked about our polyamorous relationships, our first two films, and speculated about what the future held for us. The articles were upbeat and our opening sales for the two 'R' rated DVDs went through the roof. Even with the release of the DVDs many independent theaters signed up to show our films.

TheAccess Hollywood clips also appeared on television. Since we were traveling we missed them, however, my mother and father saw the show and told me I was wonderful and full of joy. Apparently even Billy Bush praised the films and our work.

Ed and Jim decided to hold off releasing the third film,Love Strokes, for three months until some of the hype about our first two films subsided. They wanted to get the timing just right to handle another blockbuster release. The "X" rated version filtered into the market place and was a sellout everywhere it was available. Harold pleaded with us for more films and we told him we'd think about it.

*

All that happened up until two years ago. A lot has happened in that time.

First off, the seven of us officially live in the same three houses in the same neighborhood in the suburban Texas town. We now have an additional piece of real estate in Malibu overlooking the Pacific Ocean as well; any of the seven of us use it when we're in Hollywood. What's nice is that everything is paid for. (Ed still lives and works out of his place Hollywood but joins us when we're in town.)

June, Nancy and I have become mothers and June is pregnant with her second. By agreement we aren't worrying about who the fathers are, but as we look at our new family members we have some fun guessing the paternity. Even as our family grew we continued to work.

Ed, Jim and their friends did a marvelous job at promoting our three films the year after our first Sundance Film Festival as well as marketing each of us in the entertainment industry. Through their guidance they had Carl and Mike start a separate film editing company that is now one the most sought after in the industry, particularly for dramatic films. They have a backlog of several years work and are slowly adding talented staff to the company.

Sy and June turned out to have remarkable singing voices. The pair started a country-pop crossover band and has a third CD coming out next month. Even though they have started a country tour, they continue to appear in our films. We miss them when they're away, however, they have fascinating stories to share when we get together.

Nancy, Ally and I have focused on screen writing and directing films with strong love themes -- some folks call all our work 'Chick Flicks' but our work can be pretty dramatic at times. In our first year we turned out three major screenplays. Each has been a first run film.

Under Ed's guidance and swagger we sold a major interest in our company -Loving Enterprises, LLC toSony for a ridiculously large sum of money. The only condition seemed to be that we keep doing what we found we love to do for another five years. That sounded like a great deal.Sony backed our work to turn our three new screenplays into movies. Key to the deal was that Ally, Mike and I each star in one major film a year.

And me? Well, I'm on the cover ofPeople magazine again next month because I'm the star in a movie about Amelia Earhart that comes out in two months. This film is one I didn't write but agreed to act in. People actually think I'm a pretty good actress.Sundance Enterprises is already trying to generate some advanced 'buzz' about the film and thus the magazine layout. The money I earned let us all do some things for our parents, brothers, sisters and their families that we had always wanted to do for the people we love. For instance, we helped Doug and Melissa pay off the mortgage on their home and started a paid-up college fund for their two children.

As for the Amelia Earhart film, I thought it fitting to play this unconventional woman since after my unplanned speech at my first Sundance Film Festival I have become an outspoken maverick about relationships and life -- the same way Amelia had been about the role of women and flying. I've been on a lot of television talk shows, includingOprah, The View andDr. Phil talking about our unique philosophy and living style. Certainly a lot of people say it's not for them but now they do it consciously rather than blindly following society's 'rules' and customs. Many others have written and shared stories about their unique living arrangements and the joy they find in them. We try to personally answer all our fan mail.

Lastly, the eight of us started theLoving Foundation and have put several million dollars in the charitable trust so far. The Foundation supports research and organizations helping extended and loving family relationships. The work is unique and has projects underway on five continents.

Finding joy is what life is all about. For us, we found joy and happiness by taking some big risks and through creating relationships that took us out of our comfort zones and aware from what society teaches is 'normal'. We are each convinced that our relationships are one model for future families and neighborhoods. We hope we've paved the way for others to find the love, fulfillment and joy in their lives that we have in ours.

I asked the rest of our clan how I should end this story -- what I should say by way of a closing message. We were unanimous on one closing statement from all of us:

"We wish you Love."