All Comments on 'The Marine & The Beauty Queen Ch. 03'

The storyline and your writing are great, just keep slidin' them out to us!!

I am really enjoying your writing. Keep up the good work.

A very good story

looking forward to subsequent chapters.

I have enjoyed all three chapters so far, and can't wait for the next one to be posted. Thank you for sharing

Very good. Stil don't see how the relationship falls apart.

Still interesting, honestly though this could have been on Chapter2.

This is one of those stories that's going to be dragged out isn't it?

Good Story with good development of the main characters. Looking forward to the rest.

I cannot see this as a romance. Susan cheated on him in the 1st chapter, and now we are getting their history up to when he sees her sucking off another man.

Regardless of their meeting and "romance", this beauty queen cheated and needs to be tossed aside like yesterdays garbage.

You are adamant this is a romance, well that remains to be seen. Knowing the future, that Susan cheated makes this "romance" so far very anticlimactic. Yada, yada, she's on a pedestal, yada, yada, now shes a cheating slut, yada,yada he is devastated, yada, yada, what happens next?

Theoretically we will learn why she cheated, (we know how) and then two questions, will he become a wimp and take her back or will this now turn into a real romance with another woman?

I think I would have laid out the groundwork first , then had her cheat, then tell what happens..

Good writing, but not sure if the sequencing was proper.

Thanks everyone for all the comments. Believe me, I am reading, and will take note in future stories. In fact, I already have several changes I want to make to the first three chapters. This story is a total of six chapters, all of which have already been submitted for approval. Literoricia is only approving one chapter each day, so just wait for a couple more days and you can read everything. I will say this: which is indicative of more strength? To blame everything on someone else . . . or to look at yourself in the mirror, and see what you have done wrong?

After the authors comments, this is definitely a WAAC, RACC.

the haters. Great story. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Another fucking retard using the 'hater' tag.

Loser, probably a fag.

Nice continuation of a love affair. Why did you start this with her cheating? It screws up the whole tale. Curiously I'll continue...

A great story can be ruined when the reader is confused by when is the action happening? Watch out for the present tense trap. It's annoying as hell.

Still rolling along nicely. 5 stars.