The Natalie Incident Ch. 03

Of course it all had to come to an end, and it did the next day, with nothing more than a simple telephone call.

**********

We walked hand-in-hand back into the hotel lobby late the next afternoon after spending another idyllic day in the tiny streets and bustling markets of the city. We’d slept late and awoken to a sky bruised black with heavy rain, but by the time we’d eaten breakfast in the small, immaculately appointed dining room of the hotel the first fingers of sunlight had pulled the clouds apart, and as we stepped out onto the street the sun was already starting to get warm again.

I’d also experienced my first taste of the media. Around midday we’d stopped at a small cafe and sat on the terrace drinking large glasses of fresh iced-tea laced with lemon. I’d bought a couple of novels and was examining the first chapter of one while Natalie leant against me and leafed through the previous day’s copy of The New York Times, which had been available alongside many international papers in the bookstore. We were both silent for a few minutes, the only noise coming from the low chatter of the other patrons and from the industrial sized espresso machine inside, and then I heard Natalie giggle softly. She nudged me on the arm and I looked up to where she held the paper open over her bent knees. There, taking up maybe a sixth of the page, was a photograph of the two of us walking along what I thought looked like Fifth Avenue, evidently taken on the morning after Natalie had been to see her agent. She was wearing sunglasses and had her hand in mine, and I was carrying two bags and was grinning as looked out across the busy street. There was a couple of lines of print underneath the photograph that speculated on the identity of the mystery guy who appeared to be the new man in the notoriously private life of actress Natalie Portman. I frowned at the picture and scowled when Nat told me how good I looked, and when I observed just how quickly someone had taken the picture and got it into the paper she laughed with the authority of someone who’d seen it all before. It felt weird looking at a picture of myself in one of America’s foremost newspapers, and it wasn’t a feeling that I was totally comfortable with. I also knew that Natalie valued her privacy highly, and I told her that I was sorry we’d been seen together. She turned, kissed me on the neck, and told me not to apologize, that she was proud to be seen with me. She turned back to the paper and continued to turn the pages, and I sipped tea from my glass and was barely able to keep the smile off my face.

We shopped for retro-style clothes and stupid souvenirs for our families back home, and returned to the hotel just after five to drop off our purchases and freshen up before heading out for dinner at a place we’d seen earlier in the day. As we crossed the cool interior of the lobby Dieter the clerk looked up from his work behind the reception desk and gave us his warm smile, asked us how we both were. We said our hellos and were heading for the stairs when Dieter informed Natalie that he had a message for her. I was unsuccessfully trying to juggle our bags and parcels, so I kissed Nat lightly on the cheek and told her I’d see her upstairs in a couple of minutes, and I left her at the reception.

I managed to get the key in the lock and virtually fell into the room, which once again had been rearranged beautifully in our absence. The window was slightly ajar and a light breeze circulated the aroma of the freshly cut flowers that had been arranged in the vase on the sill. I left the door open for Natalie and dropped our things on the bed, kicked my shoes off and went into the bathroom. The sunken lights were dim enough to be flattering, but my reflection still looked pretty fair. The good weather of the last couple of days had put the first beginnings of a tan on my face, my eyes looked fresh and the usual lines of anxiety that regularly creased my brow were gone. I smiled at myself, and realized just then exactly how happy I was. I used the toilet and was finishing washing my hands when I heard Natalie come into the room and the door close quietly behind her, and I dried off and walked back into the bedroom.

Instantly, I could see that something was wrong. Throughout the day her face had been a constant reflection of her mood, her smile bright and her eyes shining. Now, as she leant against the door and looked at me I saw the same sadness that I’d seen the night before, and it chilled me.

‘What’s wrong?’ I said. ‘Was it the message?’

She nodded, and then sighed heavily. ‘It was from Elizabeth, asking me to call her urgently.’

‘Is everything all right?’

‘Yes. No, not really.’ She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. ‘I’ve got to go.’

I crossed over to her and took her hands in mine. ‘What do you mean, go? Go where?’

‘I have to do some pick-up shots and dialogue for the film.’

‘Starting when?’

She dropped her eyes from mine before she spoke. ‘Thursday.’

I thought for a moment, let my mental timeclock adjust. ‘Thursday? But that would mean you’d have to leave-,’ my voice trailed away as the realization hit me, and I pulled away from her and turned to face the window, rubbed the back of my hand over my eyes. Today was Tuesday.

Natalie had come to my hometown a few days after finishing a couple of months shooting on her new movie, a film which wasn’t actually due to be released for almost a year. During our time together we’d talked about it at length; it was a project she was excited to be involved in and had enjoyed making. Movies take a long time to put together, and the acting process generally takes up only a couple of months during a much longer production, and the chances are that the performers will be required to shoot additional scenes and record extra dialogue after their scheduled time on set. And it seemed as if this was one of those times. Natalie had told me it would come, I just didn’t realize it would come so quickly.

‘Lizzie said she’d been trying to reach me all day,’ said Natalie. Elizabeth Avelan was her agent back in New York. ‘I told her I’d had my phone turned off.’

‘How did she know you were here?’ I said, staring down at the street below.

‘I told her we were coming out here for a while.’

‘I wish you hadn’t,’ I muttered, and watched as pale pink blossom was lifted from the trees and scattered on the still waters of the canal by a light breeze. A moment later I felt Natalie’s hand pulling on my arm, and I allowed myself to be turned.

‘Are you angry?’ She said quietly.

‘No, I’m not,’ I replied, as she hugged herself against me. ‘I’m just... Just sad, that’s all. I love being here with you, and I don’t want anything to spoil it, even though I know it can’t last forever.’

The truth was, neither of us had talked about how long we were going to stay in Amsterdam. Everything had happened so quickly, and we were having such a wonderful time, that thoughts of leaving and moving onto the next thing hadn’t really occurred to me. I knew that we couldn’t stay here indefinitely. Natalie would have commitments to keep and that, as much I didn’t want to admit it, I would have to do something with my future besides being with her. But over the last few days none of that had mattered, and it was only with the call that Natalie had just made to her agent that I realized that time was never really our own. Someone would always want something from us.

‘Did you know this was going to happen, Nat?’ I said, ‘when you went to see Elizabeth that morning before you met me in the park?’

She pulled away from my chest. ‘No, I didn’t. We just talked about a magazine shoot that I might have to do and some other little things, nothing important. I told her I was coming over here because I was excited about it.’ She was quiet for a second. ‘Mostly I just told her about you.’

‘You did?’

She smiled and stroked a hand across the side of my neck. ‘Of course I did. I couldn’t wait for the two of us to get away. I adore this place and I adore being with you, the last thing I want to do is leave.’

‘Then don’t go. Just stay,’ I said, already knowing that that was impossible.

She looked at me hopelessly. ‘How can I? I’ve got to go, it’s in my contract, which I still have to honour.’ She leant against me again and I wrapped my arms tightly around her. ‘You know I don’t want to go,’ she said, her voice muted against my shirt. ‘I just want it to be the two of us here, alone and together. But we can’t.’

I held her and looked around the room, felt low with the realization that we’d be leaving this little hotel much sooner than we wanted to. Sure, we could return, and I hoped one day that we would, but any other visit would never have the same magic as this first time.

‘So what happens then?’ I said. ‘Back home? LA?’

She shook her head. ‘No. Five or six days in Romania, then New York.’

‘Romania?’ I said, with some surprise. I’d forgotten briefly that Natalie had been filming in Europe, and stupidly assumed that any additional work required would be on a soundstage somewhere in the shadow of the Hollywood hills. But then I remembered how she’d told me that most of the picture was shot on location, how much she’d missed her friends and family when she’d been out there. How keen she was to get back and see them. And to see me.

I lifted her face up and kissed her nose, tried to keep my voice steady. ‘Well, at least your halfway there already,’ I said. ‘It’ll be a lot shorter flight for you.’

‘A lot shorter flight for us, you mean.’

I let go of her and stepped backwards, almost touching the glass of the large window behind me, and sat down on the sill next to the vase of sweet smelling flowers. A thought had been going through my mind for the last minute, ever since Natalie had told she’d got to go and work. I gave myself a moment to look at her, at her dark hair falling in waves over her shoulders, her slim body that I loved to hold so close, the delicate silver chain that lay on the patch of skin beneath her throat. At the most soulful eyes I’d ever had the good fortune to look into. I knew what I had to say was going to be difficult, but I also knew it was the best thing for both of us.

‘Honey, I’m not going to Romania with you.’

Natalie’s face froze. ‘Why not? You have to come.’ I started to say something but she continued before I could. ‘Look, if it’s the money then you don’t have to worry about it. I can-’

‘It’s not that, it’s nothing like that,’ I interrupted.

‘Then why, baby. I don’t understand,’ she whispered, moving towards me. I kissed the soft fabric of her shirt just below her breasts, and she straddled my thighs and lowered herself onto me. I held her tightly, my thumbs tucked into the waist of her jeans and my fingers against her buttocks, and I leant back and felt the cool glass of the window against my body as I looked up at her.

‘Do you remember what I told you last night?’

‘Of course I do,’ she said quietly. ‘I’ll never forget it.’

‘Then you know how I feel, I’d do anything for you. But we both had lives to lead before we came out here, you more than me. Right now, yours is taking you to Romania. If I’m honest with you, I’d struggle to even point to it on a map.’ She smiled at that, and I rubbed my thumb on the bare skin at the small of her back. ‘I don’t belong there.’

‘But you do,’ she protested.

‘No, I don’t. As much as I want to be there, I don’t just want to be seen as some guy who’s following you around from place to place. You’re going to have some really busy days, and I’ll just be in the way. Do you see what I’m trying to say?’

She was quiet, and I could see that she was thinking, and I let her, just held her against me. The clock in the bedroom ticked a steady beat that matched my heart, and behind me I could hear people passing by in the street. I wondered if any of them had looked upwards and seen the two of us locked together in the window, like two lovers on display in a silent and lonely gallery.

‘When we were at your house with your folks,’ I said, ‘I was looking at all the photographs on the wall in your bedroom. Because I’m dumb and paranoid, I wondered where I would fit in amongst all those people that you know. Now, I can see where. But when you look at a picture of us, regardless of what happens to us in the future, I want you to be proud of me.’

‘I already am,’ she said with earnest. ‘I wouldn’t be with you if I wasn’t.’

‘I know,’ I replied, ‘and that’s just one of the reasons I feel the way I do about you. But I said you make me believe I can do anything? You do. And now I need to do something, for me as well as for you. If we give each other a few days you can finish the movie, and I can decide what direction to go in next.’

Natalie leant her forehead against mine. ‘Promise that direction will involve me?’ she whispered.

‘Honey, I want every part of my life to involve you. You’re the one thing that I do know I need. Somehow I just need to figure out the rest of it.’

We kissed, and it was as sweet as always, and I felt a hot teardrop fall against my cheek. ‘Please don’t be sad,’ I said, brushing my thumb gently under her eye.

‘I’m not, not really. I just don’t want to be away from you, even for a few days.’ She paused to kiss me again. ‘Even though I know it’s the right thing to do.’

‘In a week we’ll be together again in New York,’ I said, ‘and although that’s going to seem like a lifetime for me, imagine how good it’ll be when we’re alone again.’

She grinned. ‘We’ll probably set the city on fire,’ she said, and then we kissed again before sliding ourselves into a tight embrace. Natalie laid her head on my shoulder and I ran my palms in circles over her back. I could feel myself starting to miss her already, and while I knew what I’d suggested was for the best and was glad that she’d agreed with me, I still knew it was going to hurt letting her go. But at least this time I knew that we’d see each other again, and soon. I also knew how our relationship was and how we felt about each other, and that was all the reassurance that I needed.

‘What time do you have to leave tomorrow,' I said, knowing that whatever answer she gave would be too soon.

‘Lizzie’s booked me on a flight at midday,’ she replied, ‘so I suppose I’ll have to leave for the airport around ten-thirty.’

I glanced at the clock and saw it was nearing six, although I was determined not to count the hours until it was time for her to go. I pulled her up from my shoulder and stroked my fingers through her soft hair.

‘Well, if this our last night here, for now,’ I said, ‘we’d better make the most of it. So why don’t you slide your gorgeous self into that bath you were dreaming about earlier, Miss Portman, and then we’ll go and get something to eat and see what the rest of the night holds for us. How does that sound?’

‘That sounds pretty good to me,’ she said, and kissed my ear before climbing off me and pulling me up from the sill by her hand. A low honking sound came through the cracked-open window, and we both turned to see a brace of swans land gracefully on the mirrored water of the canal and drift leisurely forward with barely a ripple. Natalie looked up at me.

‘We will come back here, won’t we?’

I squeezed her palm in mine. ‘The first chance we get, I promise.’ I said. I left her standing by the window while I went into the bathroom and started filling the tub, the scalding water instantly steaming up around me, and when I looked back through the open door she was still watching the scene outside, her hands braced against the frame. I’d seen a lot of beauty since I’d been in the city, but nothing even compared to the girl who now stood silently at the window and let the sun paint patterns on her through the glass.

**********

Earlier that afternoon I’d experienced a brief and unwanted stab of guilt. My parents had been on vacation when I’d decided to drop everything and go away with Natalie, and I’d only given them a brief phonecall to explain that I wouldn’t be in town when they got back. My mother, like all mothers’, worries after me constantly, regardless of how old I get, so out of courtesy and peace-keeping I decided to give her a call. So while Natalie pampered herself in the bathroom before taking to the water I sat with my feet propped up on the bed and dialed home. Mom as usual went through the catalogue of emotions, and as always told me to be careful. I asked after home, and she told me that my old boss from the paper had been trying to contact me, was willing to offer me my job back. I told her that was nice, but that I was thinking of doing something else. My mother sighed in the same exasperated way that I’d heard for the past few years, and a couple of minutes later we swapped love and I hung up. For a second I felt homesick. I could imagine Mom talking to me on the kitchen phone, the French doors with the neat farmyard behind her, the lush green of the valley beyond that. My dad sitting on the porch studying the paper or maybe running a rag over the chrome of his old Ford Galaxy, the immaculate paintwork soaking up the morning sun.

But the feeling only lasted briefly, and I shook my head clear of the thoughts and went into the bathroom. I’d ran oil under the taps as I’d filled the bath, and the water was now full of bubbles and the air was heavy with the smell of Jasmine. Natalie opened her eyes as I entered. Her hair was pulled back and lying over the edge of the tub and her skin glistened wet and pink where it wasn’t obscured by the suds. Her tiny toes poked out of the water and bobbed on the surface. I sat on the edge of the lavatory seat and splashed my fingers through the hot water, finding her smooth ankle beneath the surface.

Natalie asked me if everything was all right at home, and I told her of the conversation, before reaching over the tub and kissing her damp lips. She asked me if I’d wash her hair for her, and I took a small jug from the shelf above the washbasin and moved so I was sitting on rim of the bath behind her. I wet her hair carefully and lathered the dark curls, and she leaned her head back and sighed contentedly as my fingers stroked her neck. Then I took clean water and slowly washed the soap away, watching as the foam ran over her shoulders and down her chest, sliding over her small nipples. When her hair was clean I ran my hands under the water and around her ribs, bringing my palms up to cup her breasts, and I pulled her back against me, not caring that I was wetting my shirt, and kissed her again. We stayed like that for a minute as I alternated my lips between her mouth and her neck, and I may have fell right into the water behind had she not burst out laughing when I tickled my fingertips under her arms. She wriggled away from my grasp and twisted around, reaching for a towel, and I held it open for her as she stepped from the bathtub and let me wrap her naked body in the soft, warm material. We hugged, and I found myself aroused once more, and we may not have made it out again that night if Natalie hadn’t pushed me away, dotted my nose with soapsuds, and told me to get ready.

I scrubbed under a quick shower, brushed and flossed, and in only a few minutes I was back in the bedroom with a towel around my waist. Natalie was sitting on the edge of the bed buckling the straps of her black sandals around her ankles, and the sight of her took my breath away. She was wearing the dress that she’d bought back in New York the day before we’d left, and when she stood and twirled around, asked me what I thought, I couldn’t really find the words. Black material, embroidered here and there with tiny white flowers, lace trimmed around the sleeves, a neckline that showed just a hint of cleavage and a hem that was short enough to show some thigh. It was sophisticated and sexy, cute and lovable; in fact, it echoed the girl who was wearing it perfectly. She’d left her still damp hair loose, and it tumbled around her neck and across her forehead, and on her right wrist was a thin silver chain that I’d bought for her earlier in the day. I gave my approval with a kiss, then whipped off my towel and looked for the best clothes I could find, wanting to be a match for Natalie but knowing that was impossible. I dressed quickly in a new shirt I’d bought that afternoon while she ran a comb through her hair, and I wondered to myself, and not for the first time, what a guy like me had done to deserve a girl like her.