by WatchingCloud
Congrats on a well constructed and well written story. Good character development and a great story line. The sex was exactly in character with the feel of the entire story.
Congrats on a well constructed and well written story. Good character development and a great story line. The sex was exactly in character with the feel of the entire story.
Best story I've read in a long time. Keep up the great work.
Every story you have posted here has received high marks. Enjoyed all very much!
Beautiful story of not just sex, but of a young love blossoming! I hope there will be more and in the same frame of thought.
Loved it! Please tell me there's going to be more to follow!
This was an excellent story that I enjoyed very much. The characters were real and imaginable and overall just a very intelligent and fulfilling story. I wish there were more stories available like this that peeks one's imagination, and is enjoyable for something we all wish we could (have) experienced.
I hope that you will take this tale to the next level and continue the story line. It would be great.
I love the story. Easily relatible. It taps into the core of our existence, to love and procreate, in ways like the Salmon swim against the tide to spawn in the pools they were concieved at. The use of trails as a path of life and fate is brilliant. Also too the use of different aged couples coming to the waterfall as a hint to the future and allusion to how Joella(whom is an embodiment of mother nature and a catalyst of natural procreation).
Wow... best story I've read in a good long while. I'm actually hoping to see more of these two characters. I'll definitely be reading this one again, and likely soon :)
I've been on this site for over 5 years, and this is undoubtedly the best-writtn and most erotic of any I've read. I hope there is a follow-up. These two are destined to a wonderful friendship, and hopefully, marriage.
A great story and very enjoyable to read. One of the best ones I have read since stumbling onto this site. Well done.
this was simply the most beautiful and purest story iv read yet please continue their story
Very good story. It's really crying for a follow-up. Inspired me to leave my first comment ever. Please keep it going.
Loved every minute of reading. Would love to read more of your work.
Sadly disappointed in the stories this year - until this one. Absolutely the best, I know which I hope will win.
Marvelous, and worthy of first place. Thank you for a fine story.
wrtten, very erotic, and well deserving of first place in the contest. Congratulations.
so sweet and pure ,hope there's a next chapter to this.one of the best stories.
This is easily one of the best. This is the most romantic true to life story i have read so far. I really hope you wright another one I'm curious to see what happens next.
I really liked this story and as some of the other comments said i cannot wait to see what happens next between the two of them or if anyone else gets to have fun too
It was a VERY much-deserved victory, Cloud. That story is full of the promise of youth, the beauty of nature, the intensity of teen sexuality, and it plays into the theme so nicely. Well done!
it also deserves a follow on chapter with parents all under the protective and alleviating presence of the nymph spirit... lovely lovely story thank you
Sensitive! Follow your own map in developing, but please, please add as many chapters as you are moved to write.
I read and very much enjoyed this story earlier this Summer - I have been checking back on a follow-up chapter ever since.
WatchingCloud, congratulation on your Contest 1st place for this exciting story. Wishing you the best for the following chpater(s). Thank you.
This had the perfect blend of dicovery on so many different levels. The pool, their parents past and finally themselves. Well done and congratulations on your win. "Please sir, may we have another?"
This is definitely a storyline to continue with. Lots of possibilities with the parents pasts meeting the kids futures. Go Joella!
Nice story, loved the fact that you developed your characters and the background to provide a solid foundation for you story. Everything was easy to visualize. I'm sure I am not the only one who longed to be a visitor at Joella's pool. The story's central theme is well supported. There are no missing or dangling links, everything ties together well. Past and present come together in a full circle. You are a talented writer. I hope to see more of your writing soon.
The Story brought back so many youthful memories of my own with several girlfriends visiting nature, naturally.
Great Job!...... Well Written, not any slam wham thank you mamm type of literature. Waiting for more from you the Author,
Kudos go for highly academic comments on stories, but, truth be told, I am here just to say one thing: I loved it.
I hope you will take that as a form of encouragement :)
Wonderfull build up of characters, settings and the deed... kudos to your imagination and skill ... it took me back to the Enidi Blyton's Famous Five days but with a twist of adulthood... please continue the same with Josh & Maya in next stages of the holiday... with their parents, parents reveleing etc etc
I must say, as a first time reader on this forum, I really picked the right story to read first. Above average character development, excellent setting and dialogue that wasn't over the top like so many stories of this type are. And, low and behold, almost no spelling/grammatical errors! That's something that is rare and special to me. I really hate reading a story and mentally editing it as I go, which I do for a living. It was a relief not to have to do it here. I cannot fault other writers' inabilities; it's enough that they try but when you put a fantastic story like this one together with excellent spelling and grammar it's just a joy to read. Outstanding!
Let's keep it brief -- and hang on to your briefs! This is a PERFECT story. It superbly depicts teenage boy/girl joys and problems, then morphs sweetly into young adult love that will probably start a fire or two in Corvallis at Oregon State. When I went back there seeking Mary Ann, she had moved away. Where was the Nymph's Pool and the flat rock when I needed them?
that was, by far, one of the best pieces i have ever read. my hat (and clothes :P) are off to you! please please please write a follow up!!
lovedd it!...okies so iam a little late arriving to the site for thenude day festivities myself, but i am hoping to find a follow-up story in WatchinCloud's submissions list...WOOHOO! i wanna go swimmin now...
What my fellow critics didn't mention was whether they thought this story deserving of the grand prize. I thought so.
One of the better stories I've stumbled across on my wanderings of this site. Keep up the amazing work!
Just a terrific, sexy and very arousing story of being introduced to nudity, which is just a wonderful part of life. If only places like you describe were not more common. Too many uptight people easily shocked and unwilling to relax and enjoy au natural. Thanks, and let's see more stories!
This story needs a sequel in which both sets of parents wink at each other about going to visit their friend, "Joella," and their children following them to learn which couple was which as to screamers, etc.
But I put in my vote for no swinging between the couples. Their kids seem likeable and responsible and do not need a distraction and bad example of their parents swapping. Rather, just have the parents in a loving and public display to honor "nude day."
Thank you WatchingCloud for a touching, believable and sweet sweet story...
It's little gems like this story that make this site so great.
That was magical alright, nothing kinky, dirty, guilty or illegal in the real world. 4 pages and really just one sex scene yet worth all that came before it, 5 stars!
there are lil types of magic in this world when i hear my son laugh the smile of my wife and a story like this is one of them and one of a kind and hard to find
as far as i could tell there was hardly any profanity in it it was all kinda nice and romantic i liked it
This is such a great change from the straight-to-fucking stories on here. The back story built up the characters very well, and everything flowed perfectly. I really like the concept of Joella, and the older couple showing up at the secluded pool. I thought it was very tastefully done, and the length was just right. Thank you so much for sharing your talents with us!
This was a very well written story it flowed smoothly and kept me entranced as to what would happen as old friends found each other, thank you for such a wonderful tale.
kind of a romantic tale,,i was engrossed,,,dropped the f bomb only once i think!,,will read it again,,,story flowed nicely,,,there is certainly room for more chapters here,,,please consider it!! and thanks for a heart warming and romantic end to my evening!!
For all of us who have longed for or long for true passion,
romance and love, this story was filled with hope.
I can only suppose that the author knows these feelings
as well.
Much better than a lot of the crap here. Actual depth to the characters. Is there going to be a second?
Good story...felt almost like two people wrote it though. You described everything very well except for the sex part. You rushed through that part a bit. Have a good day.
-A.
loved the story, it was full of passion and excitement and sensuality. i loved how the characters fell in love, and then shared that love with each other. well written all around. i hope there is more to come!
Another excellent read. Thank you.
I am much more into sweet than into raw these days, and that was sweet.
You have a wonderous way of blending words that draw images in the reader's mind. You have a knack of drawing out the important details and allowing the lesser parts to fade to the rear. There were so many facets unfolded in this story, yet none were not to be believed. The story was edited perfectly permitting one to be drawn into its folds without the distractions found in so many others. Thank you. Please continue to share with us.
I think you did a great job of creating realistic characters and easing in on the sensuality and deep feelings that grew between them. I was actually surprised at the extent to which their relationship moved over the course of the single story, and yet nothing felt forced or out of place. I look forward to reading the rest of your work.
This is the best story I have ever read. A genius stroke of the pen. It leaves me all warm and fuzzy. The emotions conveyed to the reader are just wonderful. Keep up the good work. I am so happy that you have such warm feelings and can transfer those to the reader. Absolutely wonderful.
What an excellent story. I got to know the characters, not just the actions. You have a true gift for writing, and you could easily branch into other genres. I'd love to read more about these two, please consider writing a follow-up!
Great story told w sensitivity and love. Always nice when there's caring and sensitivity.
A lovely story with believable, charming characters always makes for fun reading. Great job. This is the first of your stories for me and I'm looking forward to reading more.
Thanks!
This story being about three years older--prior to--than "The Class Nudist" of Carson and Emmy, there is a distinct difference in style, emotions, feelings and character development. That's not saying this story of Josh and Maya is any less entertaining or fantastic. Both stories are similar to having a male and female parent, different in hundreds of ways, but their results are apparently similar. One can tell, after reading both stories, they were written by the same author with the same great efforts of charisma, feelings and emotions are evident and well displayed throughout both endeavors.
The theme of this story is unique and unusual, the characters are not as charming as Carson and Emmy are--maybe because Maya came several days later, leaving Josh with half a week of self-study and intraspection. The dialogue of all this story's characters, Josh and May, the parents childhood friend's Mike and Carol, all played their parts to the nth degree. The details are sufficient to give this reader an awesome visual of Josh and Maya in all their playfulness in and around the pool.
The bar for sensual and loving couple's young adventures has been set somewhat higher by this tale of budding and blossoming love! A treasure unto itself!!!
I read your "Class Nudist" story and did not realize that I had already read this one quite awhile ago and intended to come back to read some more but possibly lost my bookmark. Anyway I re-read it and loved it as much as the first time I read it and at the end discovered that I had left a comment.
It's a charming story with delightful characters and they are different than the two in "Class Nudist", which is a complement since some writers always come up with the same characters time after time.
Thanks again!
that was really nice. like sweet nice. sweet erotic even....yeh, enjoyed that. i dont mind a good build up to the erotic part either, fleshes the characters out more and def makes them seem more real
I really enjoyed this and Class Nudist. The natural innocence and curiosity leading up to very romantic sexual escapades is so euphoric. I feel wonderful after reading them. I'm very adventurous myself, yet prefer the romantic side of sexuality to the wam bam thank you mam type.
I really enjoyed this story! It was sensuous and erotic and very much like some adventures we've had...my wife and I love to hike nude and skinny dip as well as lay out nude on the boulders and feel the sun on our naked bodies. Thank you for the wonderfully sexy tale!
I am a bit late in finding this work but then a good thing lasts.
This work is a GOOD thing.
I am about to start further down your submissions and hope I wont find a sequel.
Call me a nutter but I like to let a good story fire my imagination,
Great story, well written. Thanks for improving the universe. And tugging out some wonderful old memories.
Great story though I was kind of hoping to see additional chapters maybe Maya and Josh at college and talking to their parents, All in all A really well written piece and I look forward to the other stories
As with your other great story, The Class Nudist. I read this is and found another great read, and also the good guy getting the girl in the end makes for a better world.
Simple, fun, light, and honest.
As with the Class Nudist, I was very sorry to see this story come to an end.
Thank you.
Just the right amount of sexiness and story, not over the top but not dragging or too long.
One of the best stories that I have read. Here and there, there's a bit of grammatical errors, but that's negligible compared to the beauty of the story.
I was capativated!!! Brought back some memories and fantasies. Thank you for sharing.
You have done it again, thank you, What a beautiful story and so well told. !!
This story has been illustrated and may be read at http://www.illustratedlovestories.com.
You have a special way of writing, so well paced, so natural and real. You make the reader not only enjoy the journey but to be able to visualize the people and scene. Thank you for another great read. But I notice that you apparently have not written new stories for quite some time. Wish you would start writing again, and updating/adding to your existing ones.
great story with good characterization, descriptions and pacing. well done!
I love the idea of the nymphs at the pool the sacred energy and the magic of the sweetness of their sex, I love the innocent and young and true nature of a sexual act being magic and wholesome. I wish there were nicer words for pussy and cock but any way , subtle and soft respectfull and not pornographic. my experience of this type of thing is so precious to me. I love ther idea of a PAN like character and a water nymph making out or several nymphs .
I hope this story has a few more chapters in it. I would love to hear more about these two and their futures along with them discovering whose parents where who. Thank you again, writing is great, please give us more.
Noel5474
What a great little story. Just as great the second around time after I stumbled on to it by chance.
Great story, unexpected twists, if I was the girl though, I wouldn't have been satisfied with just that first session, 'round 2 anyone?'
This is the best National Nude Day story I've ever read in all the years literotica has been publishing them! I love how you build your stories and the sweet, gentle people with which you populate them.
Like others have said, about this story and your others, I wish you could continue adding more chapters. The characters are so compelling I want to know more about them and their sexual adventures.
Thank you!
One of my favorite stories on literotica. Gentle and amusing.
I think it would fit 'Romance' better than 'E&V', but that's not a great issue. I agree with other commentators that further stories about this charming couple would be great!