All Comments on 'The Ocean Spirit'

by Black Tulip

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  • 2 Comments
taalib_ay_ilmtaalib_ay_ilmabout 20 years ago
Goos attempt . . . but . . .

. . . few stylistic considerations would have made it much better.

For instance, the word lustful instead of horny would have made some difference.

I suggest, for stylistic nuances you should consider using the very excellent Volunteer Editor programme this site has.

A7inchPhildoA7inchPhildoabout 20 years ago
vivid fantasy

Nice fantasy you display such wonderful emotions. Almost like aromance story with a fictional man from another place and time. :)

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