All Comments on 'The Office Team-Building Day Ch. 07'

The story's one man marathon fuck machine has become dull and uninteresting. He's admittedly not the best looking or wittiest or richest, but damn if his cock is huge, magical and untiring. It squirts gallons. Most women he meets are closet nymphos just waiting for their bisexual interests to be awakened. He meets more larger chested women in a few weeks than most men meet in a year - and the all succumb to the allure of his monster cock. And he is so clever and desirable that they're turned on by his urge to jerk off on their panties. They all live for him to dominate the sex romps with him. Nobody worried about STDs - good thing because his trouser anaconda wouldn't fit into a condom.

Maybe the story line was good for a few chapters but not this many.

I am LOVING this story. All the points in the above comment are true, but thewhitestripe is a masterful writer and he makes all this over the top, top-heavy, cum dripping fantasy sex so much FUN. Who wants realism in this kind of erotic story??

That being said, I am loving the dashes of emotion, intrigue and character development he throws in. A very nice balance of hot sex and solid storytelling.

I'm hooked and can't wait to read the rest of his stories. I just discovered his stuff on LIT and, in a way, I'm glad I don't have to wait for each installment.

Great job, thewhitestripe...hope you're still writing new stories!

In especially long stories there is a danger of allowing the theme to erode into one of a long line of "eager victims" waiting to be pumped by the heroic figure.

I think it is an easier story line to promote also, as the author does not have to recall the specifics of earlier chapters.

It is a mistake here, as Anon has pointed out. The earlier characters had flesh and blood and bone to them and the readers want to learn more about the emotional build up described by the TITLE ( does anyone remember? It concerns team building and Carmen feeling left out as Nat and Sarah build a tight loyalty to the story teller)

The drama between the first person and Carmen will build before it ends, but we sadly have lost a main character already as the story teller goes off on a rampage of harem building.

The author has done brilliantly with the sidebar story of Emma's Pool escapades, demanding wives, and erotic adventures, but here also, the formula borders on "first, they did this, then they did this" with very little description denoting real feeling (lack of kissing, caressing, whispering all of which create eroticism when it begins to deteriorate.)

Let's reflect back on the earlier chapters and remember that for authors, the main tricks in your arsenal when stumped about continuing a story are the old:

"meanwhile, back at the ranch" i.e. "what was everyone else doing?" and

"what was he thinking to have done that?"

I know some of you will say this is “just a story” but, WTF, someone’s going to need to see a Doctor.