by random83
This is definitely one of my most favourite stories no matter what others say! Keep it coming.
Come on, as far as I can see, you CAN write, you can expresse yourself, but you waste your talent on such stories, that are so much over the top and unrealistic...
If you want something with control, try some good Sci-Fi/Mind Control thing, so that the story is consistent and realistic in itself.
Great porn, doubtful erotica. Nothing wrong with flights of fantasy, but these characters are way too one dimensional and the story line WAY too much over the top. At least the story didn't end in the middle as your first story did, but that's really all I have to say for it. And nothing personal, random; it's the writing....
Wow I ready your story and ENJOYED it. Thats my kind of story. Thanks for your contribution. Keep it up.