All Comments on 'The Trials of Jay Miller'

Intense little story. Well done.

Good, well paced story. However, If the woman on the stairs was Jay's wife, then him going on up the stairs without even a 'what the hell are you doing here' is implausable.

Hey, it's a piece of fiction. I am willing to let some of the plot devices used slide. The thing that impressed me, was Jay's attitude. I've been a cop for almost thirty years, and I would recognize his perspective on life anywhere.

An interesting, well written story. It certainly had a ring of realism to it. Kudos to the author.

First I thought it was a really good read, but two things did really disturb me enough that I couldn't give it 100%

1.) First regardless of the fact that he was abusing his daughter, the sheer act of sitting and watching someone die really bothered me. I mean that seemed way over the top for someone who claims to care about others, but can cruelly watch another human die. I mean sit in a chair across from them, watch them beg for help, and comment how on how satisfying it was to watch them die? I realize you wrote this from the characters stand point, but regardless of who's stand point was from, it's kinda disturbing.

2.) The wife. If he was keeping tab's on this guy through his own various personal contacts, how did his wife find him fast enough to beat him to the scene, commit the murder (without him hearing the shot), and start down the stairs as he was starting up them? I mean it was written that he went to about 20 different places before he found his former son-in-law was in an apartment that he didn't know about, but his wife went right too him and killed him? And when you wrote he saw a "faceless" woman on the stairs you made it seem as if it was a strange woman he didn't know, but it was his wife. How did he not comment on the blood she must have been covered in if the scene was that gory when he entered? How could his wife do that, witness her handy work, and not break down to anyone? Why didn't she try to stop him from entering the room? Why did he act surprised he was dead if he entered the apartment his wife "Just left" and the door was unlocked? What did he expect to see there if he wife was just leaving it? Why didn't that bother him his wife left the aparment he knew nothing about if he was on his way up the steps just minutes before she exited and she passes him on the steps? If the gun wasn't his, where did his wife get it?

I'd have to have ALL those questions answered before I would be willing to carry on with my wife after all this.

Good read and full of suspense, but a couple of questions for me created a few plot holes that started to nag at me when I finished reading this.

-Risq

Enjoyable read.

Boyd

No more than that, it was a great little read. It was like a micro novel, a few minutes of escape for me on a ordinary day. Thank you author. Mike

Very Impressive Author - you just keep climbing as we want.

The questions asked by some are interesting.

So, 1stly if she was covered in blood brushing past, I would have known to go up and see what had transpired then act from there.

2ndly, except for the evidence it would leave, I may have spit in his face as I watched him die. Beat up my flesh and blood with further threats if told on - give me and the writer a break.

You do stir the angst Author in a very human way. Again, you reflect what many would feel in a flowing moving manner.

It is so pleasant to see your reaching growth expand to many different settings and what ifs.

You are appreciated and looked forward to Author.

With Very High Regard

good story good character development but as some who was a criminal fraud investigator for AIG for a number of years this mystery had some flaws in it...

The wife told him for months to butt out. Then she told him that Amir hit their daughter a few days ago... and the ONLY reason the husband found out was that he dragged it out of the wife.

Then the wife kills Amir.. LIES to her own Husband who was right about Amir being evil all along... and has the hubby take the rap for the killing?

and they are STILL together? You cannot be serious ....

give me a fucking break

as for the Mystery itself... at first I presumed that the wife found Amir when the hubby was spending hours looking for him

but that of course is impossible since we are told at the end of the story the faceless woman in the hall as he came up the stairs was the wife...

SO if there was No blood spatter on the cop Husband how is there No blood spatter on the wife who actually committed the shooting?

Where did I write that there wasn't blood splatter on the woman in the hall? Jay was there to kill the man, he wasn't there to talk things over with his wife. The point was that Jay knew in his own mind who had done the shooting, but legally he had no solid proof. If he stayed away from his family, he could say that he didn't know. There was never a conversation between the two of them where they talked about the killing until Jay was aquitted. Harry review it again, he passed her on the stair way, she was leaving after the shooting. As I saw it she was cloaked, maybe I missed on that point. Where does she lie to him after the killing? He took it upon himself to take the rap knowing he had a much better chance to get off than his wife. I appreciate the comments but I feel the flaws that are mentioned by some of you are not as big as they are made out to be. only a plot device to keep you interested. As for being a bad wife? Hell she killed the guy knowing full well that Jay would, she saved his ass from a lifetime in prison, he returned the favor. LYG

Very interesting story. Don't juries usually take it as a guilty sign when the suspects family isn't at his trial??

Regardless, the story came out well.

A good read!

Enjoyable thriller with excellent narrative drive, good development of the characters and nicely twisted plot. The prose is compact but rich and the scenes flow smoothly as the characters move through the storyline.

Excellent fiction this is. This 100's for you, LYG, for a story well told.

Some thoughts on the objections raised by some of the other posters:

1) Why didn't Jay see the blood spatters on his wife? It's dark outside and the stairs are dimly lit. She's put her coat back on, covering the splatters on her dress.

2) Why didn't Jay ask his wife what she was doing at Amir's apartment? LYG gave one answer, here's mine. He's plenty pissed off at Lena for not telling him of Amir's abuse of his daughter. He wants to know why she's there but figures he'll ask her when he gets home after taking care of business. Most of all, he's a man on a mission and, in his current frame of mind, chatting up his wife is a distraction from his purpose.

3) Where did the wife get the murder weapon? Simple answer: she's a cop's wife and knows enough to buy a piece off the street. More complicated answer: it's Amir's gun and she kills him with his own weapon. Complex answer: it's her husband's "special" piece, the one he keeps hidden that nobody knows about. Except she does and she uses it to kill Amir. Now why Jay didn't recognize his own weapon... :D

4) How did the wife arrive at Amir's apartment before her husband? Lena knew about the abuse for some time and she'd already decided to put a stop to it. She'd already done the legwork but hadn't yet acted when Jay browbeat the story out of her.

The question that popped into my mind after I read the story was this: why weren't Lena's prints on the murder weapon?

5) Her prints are on the gun but she smudged them and then her husband's prints overwrote them. The fingerprint expert probably found partials of her prints but, as Lena had no criminal record, her prints weren't in the database. Besides, the DA had his suspect. There was no need to ID prints which could raise reasonable doubt. Now why Nat didn't bring this up at trial...

For me to analyze something it must be something I find missing or unbelievable. All of this hit truth for me right between the eyes.

So very well done and great entertainment. I thank you for this great effort.

Thank you

PT

Another good story from LYG.

I didn't see any holes in the plot to worry me as I read thru, but somehow LYG inferred strongly enough that he didn't shoot the guy.

I suppose I sort of thought the daughter did for a while there.

You're much better at this stuff and romance than cheating stories...

it's a shame the jury didn't convict him. this guy is what's wrong with the police in the us!!!

It's ok for his family to commit murder but the crime of being a jerk deserves death???

This will be hard to put into words for those that have not been cops possibly. At least words they you will both feel and understand. I had 42 years in law enforcement myself. First: Being a cop does not mean we will not want to protect our young just like any other member of the Human race. We do our job of making life safe for the general public during our shifts as trained, but after that shift we always hope to return home safely to our family, where we can forget what we sometimes see. Being a cop exposes you to the worst segments of society imaginable. I refer to the extremely sociopathic lowlifes that feel no compassion for anyone but theirselves. Second: Unless you are one of those that truly believe that murderous pedophiles, serial killers, murdering rapists, practitioners of Genocide and those working towards that end, deserve the right to live and repeat their evil lifestyle- you can understand defending your own young and removing such scumbags from this Earth! For the ones who care about statistics, about one-half of evildoers ever get caught, and then only because they are repeat offenders. Maybe one out of three of those prosecuted do time for the crime. Two out of those three plus the other one-half, are repeat offenders. Because we are a civilized society we do not remove these vile creatures permanently in any form or manner. I am not wise enough to know why not. Although, I have heard that all people are God's children no matter what they do... If that is the case, then all those sick sociopaths have an individual right on this Earth to practice their own lifestyle preferences without prejudice. I read a lot of comments that salute or pick apart this little tale, but where are the comments from the most learned and wisest of men? We all read these stories because we like the intrigue each author and each story brings us...don't we? Sorry...I get carried away.

and good show Jay. But even more cudos to Lena. I liked the story, the characters, and the ending.

Thanks for your hard work and when will the next story be posted?

I love happy endings. This one pleased me. Not much sex for a porn site, LOL.

Another perspective shift and very well done -

I was not sure who did it - we got no details about the woman on the stairs of course so he had the secret that explains his actions - I ASSumed it was related to identifying the motive - which the DA fucked up anyway - he would have to have know Nan got beat up she had the black eye.

Thanks -

I thought LYG's character Jay clearly explained his act of "doublethink". By deliberately refusing to consciously admit to himself that the woman on the stairs was his wife.

Deliberately submerging his comprehension that the woman who passed him on the stairs had shot Amir.

Deliberately waiting for Amir to die of his not-so-instantaneous wound. If Amir had received prompt medical care, he may have recovered to testify against Lena.

I actually thought he did it. I should have known it was the wife.

Even though I would have been disappointed that I wasn't the one to pull the trigger; just knowing I didn't even need to say I told you so would make up for it. Maybe one day they'll learn. (I doubt it) Also, in the spirit of the Second Amendment even a cop takes the law into his own hands when it comes to protecting your own. Just remember; when seconds count, the police are only minutes away.

The asshole got exactly what he deserved. A guy who is a predator like this will not stop until someone stops him. If it hadn't been the wife it would have been someone's husband. This way the problem was taken care of early and a lot of Future problems avoided. Our hero also needs to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with his wife and daughter.

Protecting her cub, you never get in the way of that. Had this one figured out as soon as he walked in the door and found Amir bleeding out. No matter, still was a spot on way to take care of business. Just can't figure out why there are any recent comments. Signed: BTW

Momma was atoning for her mistake in not listening to hubby about Amir!!!

So how did Momma know where Amir’s secret apartment was? She was the one told her husband to keep out of it. She killed him, why was it because he beat up the daughter or was he screwing momma and then dumped her?

Okay, I'm confused. Lena tells our hero that their daughter was beaten two days earlier, and when he sees his daughter she replies with "Daddy, didn't mom tell you? She said she was going to, she told me last week that she would,". The Mom kept the daughters beating a secret for five days? The only reason I can see is that she is trying to protect Amir.

As others have said, how in the world could she possibly beat her husband to Amirs secret love shack? Her daughter certainly didn't know about it.

Those two points, coupled with her apparent defense of Amir to the husband/cop make me believe she was having an affair with him, and at the end she had to make a choice between Amir and her family. I could see a scenario where she is afraid that if her husband gets to Amir first, our Lothario will confess their affair to him.

My two cents. Good writing, but I feel like there are some definite unanswered questions in this. Thanks for writing.

The wife killed Amir for sure but not to just to protect her daughter but to protect her secrete which was she'd been fucking Amir for some time. As other pointed out how'd the wife know were to find Amir and his secret love nest if she hadn't been there before. The wife only turned on Amir after he raped her daughter and she couldn't let her husband deal with him because Amir would of outed the wife as one of his many fuck bunnies.

Hell of a good story, don't care what the others think about it. I read it as a story, not real life and I didn't pick it to death. It is fiction, or I think it is, lol. One smart Dad after all is said and done. Great ending and worth all five stars.

Damned good story, leapyearguy! Thank you!

I love this story because I can believe it's real.

I hate agreeing with the naysayers but the wife had to be cheating on the husband with her son-in-law. It is the only explanation we have for why she would know where the love nest was located. If the daughter had known then I suppose she could have told her mom, but then that brings up the question of why would the daughter tell her mom? Also why would the daughter know about the love nest but not do anything (divorce) about it?

I don't agree one tiny bit with any of the comments. You can discover mountains of info with an offer of the old U.S. $$. I was a very well known M.P. and a Liaison to the State Dept. and the U.S. $$ is mighty in gaining information need for a trial at home and abroad. 5 BIG ASS BLAZING STARS for a story well told

Enjoyable story. I did wonder if Lena might have been seeing Amir. But there was no evidence that this was the case. Lena may well have just followed Amir and found where his love nest was. After all she knew about the abuse for some time. Based on the story I think this was 2 parents prepared to protect their daughter and do what they felt was the right thing. Lena also wanted to protect her husband as she knew what he would do. Excellent story told very well. BardnotBard

💯💯💯💯💯💯👍👍👍👍👍👌👌👌😁🙋🍻🍕

Good, an abrupt ending, but still good.

Too many holes in the story for me. He didn’t recognise his wife! If he did as per the ending why not say something even if he suspected what he would find. Her fingerprints would still go on the gun. Where did she get an unregistered gun from? Couldn’t he have wiped the gun of fingerprints and put it back where he found it. Now the trial is over and he is found innocent then police start looking again. 3* from me.