All Comments on 'The Virgin Cums Twice'

This was so badly written, I don't know where to start.<p>A few examples are in order, I suppose:<p>"We'll you wank off don't you?" she asked further.<br>

"Hay!" he protested.<br>

Looking down she could see it was soak<br>

"Nice", he complemented the place.<br>

Delicately she stroke the end of his sanative cock<br>

He slowly undid her bra to revile her firm breasts and hard nipples.<p>My favorite was the reviled breasts. Bad, bad breasts!<p>There were many other examples of your utter ineptitude. Worst case: get an editor. Best case: never write again.

Yeah , it was lil rush I think but it was that bad. Good story idea , just needed to go alil bit slower.

The idea behind this story? AWESOME. The writing itself? AWFUL. Most stories have an error or two - I can generally look past them, but in this case? They totally destroyed the story and I had to skip the very end. PLEASE take advantage of the volunteer editors - I have a feeling you have more great stories inside your head - so let oomeone help you out.

Spell check please. And watch your wording.