All Comments on 'Their Invincible Love Ch. 04'

Congratulations on your much improved editing! As it turns out, your whims showed more determination than my offer of (I hope you appreciate my use of allegory) Chargex or MasterCard. I look forward to further submissions.

This is a great story, using mythology in your story like verbs is awesome and a fantastic idea, incest romance is the best, please continue.

One of us needs to look up the meanings of simile and metaphor, then USE THEM...

Here's some stand-out examples:

"...He eats every last vestige, chewing tenderly on every individual hair, receiving into his mouth layers of autumn dust, age-old pussy secretion, ancient sweat, and prehistoric salt...."

What the fuck...?

"...The wind blows the silky strands of black gold like a heather of wild grass. 'It is my land of pilgrimage,' Raul says to himself...."

What the fuck does that even mean?

Some advice for you to paste on your keyboard: Don't try and be lyrical until you know how to fucking write properly