All Comments on 'Their Story Ch. 01'

Great begining. Loooking forward to the rest.

This is a strange start, but we know your stories are usually

pretty good, so I will hang around...but separated for eight

months?

THAT is just not too realistic. The guy must really be a

wimp. If my wife wanted a separation for 2 months I would

probably save her the trouble and file the paperwork. No

wonder she makes remarks about his ...what did she call it,

being a wimp? If she thinks he is a wimp, dump him and find

a real man...isn't that what she wants? Or is it?

Sounds like Wimpy is turning into Popeye, and has a can of

spinich in his hip pocket.

They have been apart 8 months? Has ANYONE reading this

ever been separated from their spouse for eight months and

still claimed to love them? Except for our military who

are forced to be apart at times..and yeah, I have been there

and done that.

TT, this is listed as a romance, so get to it and show us

how this selfish b-i-itch is going to save her marriage.

It would appear hubby got a shot of testosterone and is not

even saying he loves her...poor baby. THEN she allows him

to screw her and wakes up alone in the morning...what a hoot. You forgot to mention if there was a five dollar bill

on the pillow.

This is great fun...TT is a good writer and hopefully he can

rescue the damsel in distress...or not.

Its hard to believe that these two people were ever married. How long were they married before the separation? Did I miss that somewhere in the story? Eight months apart and not seeing each other during that time? Hard to believe.

"That was true she had called his cell phone and had an number for emergencies plus an address for letters but she had no idea where he was actually located."

She didn’t know where he "was actually located"...??? Come on that’s very thin. They must live in the same town, yet it takes a convention hundreds of miles away for them to see each other.... Very thin.

Names. One of the areas that TT should concentrate on.

"Janet "Babs" Daggett was uncharacteristically nervous..."

TT starts out the story with her full name. Then throughout the story he refers to her as Babs, except for one time near the end.

"He continued to fuck as Janet relaxed for he hadn't cum yet..."

Upon reading the name ‘Janet’, I thought that he had slipped and given Babs another name...then I remembered the opening sentence. Why change names in the middle of the story? Babs was working just fine.

As for Jimmy, TT is making one shadowy character out of him. Dancing with two young ladies when he knows his wife is coming down to meet him for the first time in eight months...? Something has to be going on inside his mind. Does he think she’s been cheating on him during their separation?

TT tried to paint Babs in a favorable light. But, that was also very thin. She was dating a number of men, giving hand jobs, getting her tits "massaged", but not getting fucked. Therefore she wasn’t cheating...Huh?

I am still trying to find out what the "real" issue is between Babs and Jimmy. Surely the fact that she thought Jimmy was a "wimpy" guy, even though she liked every thing else about him, shouldn’t qualify as a reason for an eight month separation.

I hope that TT will explain that a little better in the next chapter.

TT was very clear that Jimmy wasnt a forcefull type. It was also pretty clear that Babs was on the verge of wanting a divorce. Why else would she ask for the seperation?

Its a story about a real crisis in a real marriage and I dont think it seems very far fetched.

- wife thinking about divorcing husband & asks for seperation

- author goes out of his way to ensure we know husband isnt an aggressive, take charge kinda guy so he doesnt pursue her after she asked him to leave (maybe also due to his feelings being hurt etc - a very normal reaction imo)

- wife starts to think maybe she's made a mistake asking for seperation

- husband is still hurt over her initial rejection so he isnt willing to just go back to the way things were

I dont see whats wrong with it. More realistic than a 'everything was just perfect and we loved each other deeply until one day the wife decides she likes getting gangbanged by huge black cocks' type story. As I said before, it seems like real problems faced by real, flawed people.

Maybe some wouldnt wait for 8 months for the wife to make her decision but lots of people probably would. Even some of the people who wouldnt wait 8 months would likely carry on with their lives and wait till the wife decided one way or another before they told her they didnt want to reunite. Maybe not a nice thing to do but some would want the wife to change her mind so they could be one to tell her it was over. That or at least get some back by being nonchalant when she finally decided to split.

Since we dont know whats coming and havent even got all the back-story yet, its a little early to say it doesnt hang together.

Clearly much is still unknown as the author wishes to build the stage for what is to follow.

The logic portrayed thus far is believeable due to the authors depiction of revealed circumstances and her seemingly flawed feelings as peculiar as they may appear to be. His reactions are more logically understandable but still unclear directionally as the author intended. Well done author. Entertaining and arousing so far.

Nice depth and scene setting with a sketchy background but much fog and thats ok - much better than a contorted reversal of a previously portrayed character trait. I think he's got it readers. Unlike so many authors who flip storyline paths or previously portrayed character traits in an effort to create a more or better ? or lengthen a weakening story! Why don't more authors take thier time - plan the total effort (at least outline wise) to avoid these puzzling contradictory pitfalls? Perhaps because it takes time and effort plus talent?

Applause author - now lets see where you take us!!!

Appreciate your time and talent - Regards

TT: Your the expert and we are just along for the ride. What I'm seeing so far is a woman who holds her husband in contempt but likes the power and control she has. When he changes after 8 months she doesn't really like it. He on the other hand was a man who while not necessarily a wimp would always choose the easy road to keep the peace, but has now began to realize that he has more control over his life, and I suspect some of his actions and looks are of dislike for the woman who is your basic control freak. That having been said there is something else going on that is beyond me so far. Makes it interesting and keep it up.

One thing--she is wondering why he hasn't said he loves her and so far not one word about her saying it in 8 months. Lord, that's a long time to be on a mail relationship with your spouse. Not even seeing each other in all that time?? No wonder he is cold. I'm sure screwing her is just that. Enhanced by memory but nothing to bring out the love of the two!

He seems to feel she is screwing around and it is bothering him---like when he thinks about it he loses 'the feeling' and becomes tense. The tenseness showing up in his face.

8 months no contact? He SURELY has found some entertainment in all that time!!

8 months!!??

I've enjoyed some of your earlier stories, but this one has too much repetetive babble and too little substance.

Sorry,

Joe

Its a little bit different from other things you have writen but I like it can't wait for the second part

Eight months...I've seen couples be apart for jobs for longer that eight months before. It isn't all that often or not that many people who have to do things like that, but it happens. Also, as I read the story I could see that the wife wanted a separation for a while too. That could explain the eight months as well as anything else.

You are crafting a fine story here, and I look forward to reading the rest.

but this didn't seem like a "Romance" story. I don't know where the author is going to take us, but I assume there is a good reason why we know so much about her and virtually nothing about him. They both moved out of the house. That wasn't very economical. We know she stayed in town bcs of her job, but he left for the fatty farm. He must have been there for some time. Did he have a job? Why were they at the same conference. How did he know the new nurse? Was she at the conference and they just bumped into each other? She had to know who, from her hosp. would be at the conf. Too much detail re them in her room. Too much detail re her dating. ***

This author is deranged somewhat.

Dating other men, making out with them and whacking them off while they rub her off aren't cheating?

Sure....

Average writing but what man would go along with a 6-8 month "separation" because his wife was unsure if she wanted to stay together? If she insisted, any self-respecting guy would file for divorce. Why bother with some flighty woman who "wants to find herself" or any such similar bullshit? 2** because writing is at best average and she is a thoroughly unlikable character.