All Comments on 'There Goes the Neighnorhood'

Intended? Apparently I didn't get it...

I feel like you do, I can put up with and forgive a lot, but cheating is a dealbreaker!!

Okay I screwed up. Now you can all see how important it is to have a good editor.

When I submitted the story and had to type the title in I miss spelled neighborhood. This is not Mikothebaby's fault it was totally mine. Sorry.

Thanks for bringing back some humor, inside references to Lit authors and stories added some mirth as well. Sadly, Lions will not make the playoffs, Schwartz is a tool and a team w/o discipline has no chance in Dec/Jan. Thanks for writing though :)

SS your style used to have the lightness of HDK, but this one was a bid depressing and full of repetitive conversations. I admit that the number of times that the wife proved that she was an airhead was a kind of Greek chorus on the one hand and highly convincing on the other hand, but it did get tiring....

One thing though was that I finished with the feeling that you are about ready to write a novel. You like working up the character details and the long range interactions. As you pointed out there was very little attractive about your protagonists and his associates. There was not an honest person in the bunch!

Since I do not "need" to identify with a character in order to enjoy a story, I can see thank you for an enjoyable and interesting read.

so go the people so does the HOOD, TK U MLJ LV NV

A comic book fan.

No red tights or winged helmets, at least he liked to run. But that's okay, it was eight great pages of light hearted fun and paybacks. I enjoyed the hell out of it, and fell in love with that feisty Aubry, maybe you can bring her back as an assassin for hire, she could bring a whole new meaning to "Wet Work."

for sharing another great story!!!!!!

I liked this one, and yes it brings the geek out in me but nice way to use all of the speedsters and their wives from the Flash comics.

We can all hope to get to where you're at someday.....5*'s

Just another non-erotic piece of junk. It seems LW has become a support group for all those hurt by cheating spouses. Sad.

Even though Jay & Iris were a bit over the top in the Clueless Department, I enjoyed the characters.

A novel and interesting way to start the tail. You proved again that you can control the reader . A little heavy on the payback, even for a BTB story.

Nobody is as stupid as these cheaters, so I took it as a bit of a farce. Very enjoyable.

This one was just missing something......nice try though. The character of Audrey really was a bitch.

SS06 you done it again! Love your work man. Keep'em comin.

Kelcha writes:"Nobody is as stupid as these cheaters..." Hmm. A little advice: never make a bet that begins: "Nobody would be stupid enough to..." You might as well give the money away.

...the other two idiots dissed Jay's television. Up to that point, I had seen this as a drama filled with (stupid) adults, but all of a sudden, the reality shone through and it was revealed that we were watching an adult drama written, produced, and acted by a junior high acting troupe. Mr Director, I've noticed that you regularly let your students slip in lines like that, and I do hope that it isn't because you've become inured to the (supposed) adults around you behaving badly. Anyway, it was fun, thank you very much, five little pointy things for you, do it again next week, etc.

elegant.caenorrhabditis

If writing great stories were easy I'd be submitting them myself. Yet sometimes it looks easy because Stang has done it and has been doing so frequently. He's been on a hella' run as of late .

However by my capricious and arbritary standards the consecutive streak stopped this week . This one was merely solid...a tad over-padded and prone to windy rants solid very much like Iris herself ( the zaftig, deluded ,designated Stang slut of the week).

A great movie has been defined as having " 3 great scenes, no weak ones ". That applies fairly well to stories too . In casting my mind back for special moments I can only think of the scene where Iris compares marriage to football , equates her gang bang to a rule infraction ( too many men on the playing field ?) and demands a penalty so things can go back to how they were . Loved it !

Regardless , Stang had too much talent to be merely " good " . I look forward to whatever week it is that he once again marries method to madness & shamelessly plugs in a certain model car that we all know . Thanks to the author for sharing.

.....and amazingly plausible, not to mention diabolical. Definitely, one of your finer works, SS06.

plot - hackneyed

characterization - banal

scenes - amateurish

This seems to be a rewrite of the story about a guy whose wife fucked his neighbors to see what the fuss was about. He goes off with the neighbor's wife and has a baby and the wife is still prepared to take him back. The wife is sent to a mental asylum and he is still married to her but living and having a family with the neighbor's wife.

Learn the difference between worse and worst.

I really don't understand why one would read Loving Wives stories when they don't like them. Then they go Anonymous. WHAT GUTS. I liked the story. Good fuck story. Thanks.

There are a lot of good elements here, but they don't all come together quite right. Also, the violence of the retribution is over the top for realism, yet not leavened by the humor necessary to make it work as fantasy/satire.

I agree with those who noticed that there were several repetitive conversations. That may be reality, but it slows down a good story.

can't bring myself to read a story when the author can't be bothered to spell the title correctly.

This one for me had all the elements I've come to expect from a good StangStar story. It graphically illustrates the consequences of selfish thoughtless cheating. It is sad but true that a woman who has been carrying on an affair that involves just about every perversion in the book short of beastiality for over a year can then claim to love her husband. She then shows her true colors by cheating on him again after being found out.

It is also sad that this man's supposed friends betrayed him in the fashion they did, but here again it happens all too often. This may be an overly dramatic look at the mindset of the adulterer, but the essential behavior is all too common.

I also like to see the wronged party come out on top, land on their feet, and find happiness. Here again, there are those who find fault with this kind of thing. They will claim that it doesn't happen that way in real life. That may often be the case, but hells bells people this a fictional story! It's supposed to leave the man and his equally hurt love interest better off after the pain and humiliation they suffered. Let the story leave us with a warm fuzzy feeling and get over it. Also let me address the next common complaint, the severity of the revenge angle. I, for one, feel that these losers got what they deserved. I will admit that for Jay to wind up a cripple might seem over the top, but let us remember that it was unintended and neither party set out to go that far. Maybe we can look at that particular aspect of this story as Karma in action.

I always look forward to StangStar's writing and he seldom lets me down. For every story that I dislike he'll deliver five more that I love. Hell, that's a pretty good ratio in my book. Hank Aaron didn't hit a homer everytime he stepped up to the plate after all. But he hit more than a few. Keep up the good work Stang. I'm looking forward to your next effort!

You gave us a great story to ready. You did an excellent job on this story and I can not wait to see what is next.

I guess that SS06 got a case of diarrhea of the keyboard and his fingers just couldn't stop typing. Not really a great story I rated it a 2 but really it's just above a 1.2. The "revenge factor" in this story is very weak. Tear or burn down houses in a residential neighborhood to build a strip mall...?...come on there has to be a better revenge than that. Maybe SS06 should take a writer's sabbatical and let some "new and fresh" story line ideas come forth. If this story is any indication of "things to come" from SS06 then I think I'll skip his future submissions...

awsome as always

But you did make the lover a paraplegic. I think that maybe it might be a sign that you are running out of story ideas when one of the things that the reader starts to look for at the end is how you are either going to kill or maim the cheating wife and her lover. I just don't see how any of that is funny?

Bankupting them, humiliating them, sentencing them to a life of loneliness and regret, hey, count me in! Killing them, maiming them, framing them for crimes, causing their loved ones (kids) pain, etc., not so much.

Again in this story, the woman who the scorned husband runs to seems to be one fucked up bitch in her own right. She would have been content to spend the rest of her life taking revenge over and over on every shit thing that had ever happened to her. The hero of the story had to talk her out of it so that she would settle down and be happy and some what normal married to him. She hated her ex-husband (Jay) enough to want him dead but she didn't have the gumption to divorce his worthless ass. Really?

One of the other comments mentioned something about how you are writing darker stories these days. That's ok. The reading can still be good. But in addition to writing darker stories, I think that the characters that you are portraying are much more cartoonish. Most of their I.Q.'s are somewhere south of 40. They have little or no substance. They are less than likeable, whether they are the good guy or the bad guy. And so why does anyone care about them. If you don't care about the characters, how can you care about the story?

Anyway thanks for sharing the story. Look forward to next week's installment. I'm hoping for a story where the hero gets a happy life and he doesn't have to murder or maim anyone to get it. But that's just me.

MissouriUSA

story, also debuting today in Loving Wives. Check it out, it's truly remarkable.

Only in his dreams could Stang match such profoundly interwoven storytelling.

However, If these neighbors thought themselves such good friends in their little neighborhood...why didn't they all try to convince the others to try this lifestyle before getting right into it behind Barry's and Aubrey's back? Sounds to me like they knew better before-hand and didn't care if they hurt their friends feelings. That alone justifies this story...

There are portions of the story that I liked and some portions which I did not. The premise seems awfully silly. SS06 has an athletically driven almost fanatical fitness guy falling in love with the marrying a fat piece of crap.

So she was Nice to talk to and had a great personality. Barry had first had knowledge that she was a fat whore -- a point Iris did NOT dispute mind you-- yet he decided to ignore the information at some point. Even when Barry ran into her several few years later she was still huge --almost Obesse according to the story .

To me this is a real sticking point because in real life most people that are this fucking disgustingly fat are also NOT ...as a rule... nice people with pleasant personalities. Most of the time the very nature of their realtionship with food speaks of a much deeper set of psychological relationship.

So the idea .. the premise ...that Barry... he a physical fitness fanatic would fall that deeply in love with huge fat piece of shit really needs to be worked on because it makes no sense at all.

Another point which bothers me throughout the story which is never really explained is the argument presented by some of the other Guys involved in the gangbang besides Jay ...was this was a wife swapping thing that " got out of hand".

Several times in this story the hsuband did point out how he and Aubrey were never given the choice that this whole situation was forced upon them . Then but

intrinsic and that defense is the premise that Iris and/ or Jay should of gone to them first.

Of course that would risk both Aubrey and Barry saying NO. But the REAL point here is that this was never really a wife swapping or swingers thing that got out of hand. Iris and Jay wanted to fuck.. so they did. Period. And when they got caught they made up this "spin" to try and cover up what they really did.

That being said the reaction was way over the top and really quite justified. They burn down the house where some innocent kids live and destroy their lives?

Are you fucuking kidding me?

Even the actions against Jay were little over the top. Once their little an electrocution experiment went wrong which resulted in Jay falling off the latter and broke his back ...permanently crippling him for the rest of his life ... that should've been a wakeup call .

They go onto to cause Bankuptcies crippling them

framing then for crimes and hurt the kids .

There is way too much dialogue and back and forth between the husband and Iris. She is a reprehensible ugly nasty stupid fat cow and there is no reason WHY this story has to go one for 8 pages explaining to her why what she did was wrong . The very act that it took 8 pages to do this ...undercuts the entire idea because IF Iris cannot see it than... she can see it and it's a waste of time.

but the last two stories were not on the same level as before. the last one was... oh well you wrote it yourself in the intro.

and this one, heck so much violance and so much cruel fun over ugly and fat people. no one to like in this story. so if you continue this way it won't be an ongoing story . this was a well meant 4 stars . the last one , one less

if you draw worlds nobody want's to live in....

@ Harry you are not true with SS06's stories. Against SS06 stories dark feeling his stories are very readable (humorous) style. His stories are humorous or sad fables about consequences of cheating if the husbands/boyfriends has any balls. Sometimes his stories are near to the true life situation sometime far to them, but very readable.

I really liked this story. Thought it was great Barry was eventually able to let go of the anger and let karma take over. Everyone got what they deserved, even if I thought Jay becoming crippled was a bit much. The characters didn't mean for it to happen, of course, and I know you addressed their feelings over it during that scene in the hospital.

Found it clever, with some FABULOUS one-liners. You've got a knack for coming up with some great insults/lines, my friend. I especially loved these:

"I heard Aubrey yelling over the fence to Jay who was still on the ground. "Jay, are we out of tanning oil?"

That made me laugh so hard! This whole fight is going down and she comes over asking about the tanning oil. I really dug Aubrey as a character.

"You knew what kind of woman I was when we started dating. Maybe I downplayed it a little bit to try to convince you otherwise but you knew that I was a slut."

Oh, okay, Iris. It's Barry's fault...

"Women don't have balls as big as yours. To even stand there and ask me if you can continue to fuck all of our neighbors takes elephant balls."

Nice one.

"I, however, will not ever stick any part of my anatomy into that festering swamp you call a vagina, ever again."

Again, I died laughing. So spot on and greatly put.

""Finding Normal isn't always easy," I said quietly"

No, it's not ;)

""I wasn't ready to see my husband humping a baby elephant either," snapped Aubrey."

Hahaha, like I said you really had me laughing intensely in some spots. Well deserved insults with dazzling wit.

I also found this line "The second was because the most dangerous opponent is one who has no hope." rang very true and it struck me.

All in all, I enjoyed this submission intensely. It was well thought out, well written, and it had a happy and well-deserved ending. Thanks for sharing.

Are there really people out there as stubborn and selfish as Iris and Jay? I mean it seems that they push the limit of believable denial a little. Other than that it kept me entertained throughout wanting to see where things would lead.

What comes around goes around....Ratt. Good story.

I agree with your point about the revenge being over the top and not justified (at least, that's what I think you were trying to say - you seemed to have dropped a few words here and there) and the issue with hurting the kids, who were innocent, by destroying their home bothers me. I will concede that while their plan to shock Jay with the Christmas decorations was not meant to cause the injuries he actually sustained, it was poorly thought out and a stupid reaction on their part.

However, your comment about the majority fat people not being happy people or not having pleasant personalities is a crock of shit!

Also, in the beginning, Iris was not the obese woman she became by the end. yes she was overweight, but not obese. And why do you think it isn't possible for an athletically oriented person to fall in love with a person struggling with weight issues? People fall in love with all different types of people, not always with someone just like them. I mean, I assume that someone fell in love with you at some point. I hope to God that they aren't an ignorant, prejudiced, opinionated, jack-ass like you....

And SS06, Barry Allen, Iris Allen, Wally West, Jay Garrick, Bart Allen? Geez.....

Keep up the new habit of dropping names mostly comic book geeks would know and love. I dig it. This line "I wasn't ready to see my husband humping a baby elephant either," Was classic and had me laughing out loud. Good follow up story to last weeks darker one. Looking forward to your next one. Thanks for the great read.

"Missouri nails it. This tale doesn't have a patch on the brilliantly worked x_JohnDoe_x story, also debuting today in Loving Wives. Check it out, it's truly remarkable. Only in his dreams could Stang match such profoundly interwoven storytelling."

I do not have a story posted and I will never be as good as Stangstar is that simple enough for you? As for the story? 5 stars my friend you keep writing and will keep reading thanks.

x_JohnDoe_x have a new good romantic revenge story on SOL (storiesonline.net).

Bring back torch the bitch, jpb and the wanderer because stags last 10 storys are shit

What to say , first thing i looked for when getting this site today was SS`s new story and was it ever a good one as always, keep the great work coming and thx as always for your efforts and to mik as well on the edit , nathan ga.

...makes comments that are as fun as the stories he comments on. Maybe he should be writing stories after all.

I couldn't tell if this story was meant to be dark or satirical or both. I agree with the moon girl that some of the lines are really good. Also agree with Harry that there was too much of the story trying to help Iris get over her narcissism. Entertaining read but somehow I had difficultly developing empathy for any of the characters.

All I can say is it the story WAS TOO FUCKING LONG--DON`T WRITE A FUCKING BOOK--YOU ARE GETTING BAD FOR THID BULL SHIT.

did Hairy say? The comment was about as clear as mud.

Good story, great revenge. Keep writing, I will keep reading.

PTBzzzz

FANFUCKINGTASTIC!!! 5 stars!!

This was by far the most retarded, asinine and pathetic story the author has ever written....and that's saying something.

This is Thursday, or SS06 day. Another fun story.

Or as Stang says:

Such a beautiful day in the neighNorhood

A beautiful day in the neighNorhood

Won't you be my neighNor?

Sure if your name ain't Jay or Iris!

Nice one Stang!

Thank you!

First, this story is WAY too long. That field was well and truly plowed when the Stangster started repeating the conversations between Barry and Iris the third time. By the fourth and fifth times, I think we got the picture.

And, really, he was an asshole. Not a super, super asshole. Maybe just an anus. But all villains think they're good guys.

But really, it would be better if the Stangster put out his stories every two or three weeks and used the time to tighten them up. As Blaise Pascal wrote, "Sorry for the long letter. I didn't have time to write a short one."

Another fantastic story! I don't know how you pull it all together each week! I can't wait until next Thursday. Thank you!

Intersting mix of comic books humour and dark fiction make this story somewhat unique. I definitely believe you should give writing fiction books a try, some are excellent TV series or movie potential.

Reading some comments could be as enjoyable as reading the story! Feel sorry for all those guys who really wanted to write this story their way :)

SS06 turd, ready to be flushed.

I give you props for using almost all the Flashes but this story was an unbelievable pile of crap. Why it was 8 pages long I don't know you could have probably cut it down to 2 and not lost anything. The "hero" is a prick and I don't see why we should care about him. I also don't understand why Jay would cheat on Aubrey with Iris who is about a stone away from obese. At least make you story a little bit believable because there is no man who is going to cheat on his attractive arm candy wife with a fat tub of lard.

Please take a few weeks off over Christmas and then come back in the new year because I miss reading your stories and not hating them because they are soap opera bullshit.

folks... I posted the unedited copy. Sorry about that.

==================================================

There are portions of the story that I liked and some portions which I did not. The premise seems ...well...silly. SS06 has the Husband... Barry... as an athletically driven almost fanatical fitness guy who falls in love with then marries a fat piece of crap.

I dont get that.

So she was nice to talk to and had a great personality. Barry had first hand knowledge that she was a fat whore -- a point Iris did NOT dispute mind you. Yet he decided to ignore the information at some point. Even when Barry ran into her several few years later she was still huge --almost Obesse according to the story .

To me this is a real sticking point because in real life most people that are this fucking disgustingly fat are also NOT ...as a rule... nice people with pleasant personalities. Most of the time very large fat people have a very strange realtionship with food which speaks of a much deeper set of psychological issues.

Say your are 300 .. 350... 400 pounds . What do you think about when you walk by a Mirror ? " Man I look goooood".... or do you think "'fuck it why bother?" In either instance it is a pretty disturbing perspective to have on life. Why a super jock like Barry would develop any attachment to someone like that....

So the idea .. the premise ...that Barry would fall that deeply in love with huge fat piece of shit really needs to be worked on because it makes no sense at all.

Another point which bothers me throughout the story is the argument presented by some of the other Guys involved in the gangbang besides Jay: That this was some sort of wife swapping thing that " got out of hand".

While it is true that several times in this story Barry did point out how he and Aubrey were never given the choice and that this whole situation was forced upon them .. that miss the bigger point.

Once Barry makes this point he and Aubrey have accepted the premise that Iris and/ or Jay and the other 2 guys should of gone to them first and asked.

Of course that would risk both Aubrey and Barry saying NO. But the REAL point here is that this was never really a wife swapping or swingers thing that got out of hand. Iris and Jay wanted to fuck.. so they did. Period. And when they got caught they made up this "spin" to try and cover up what they really did.

All that being said the reaction It seems to me was way over the top and really NOT justified. They burn down one of the neighbors house ...where some innocent kids live and destroy their lives? Are you fucking kidding me?

Even their actions against Jay were little over the top. Once their little an electrocution experiment went wrong which resulted in Jay falling off the latter and breaking his back ...permanently crippling him for the rest of his life ... that should have been a wakeup call .

They go onto to cause Bankruptcies... framing the other guy and hurt kids.

One last point ...there is way too much dialogue and back and forth between the husband and Iris. She is a reprehensible ugly nasty stupid fat cow and there is no reason WHY this story has to go on for 8 pages explaining to her why what she did was wrong . The very act that it took 8 pages to do this ... points how how Iris is NOT worth saving.

And it was a good read. I liked it. Bad things happen to bad people. It's not like it was just a one time screw up, or they stopped on their own.

Will read your others too.

Stang,

Tazz said a good one... so goes the people so goes the N'hood. Heres to them Mall.

Wouldn't Jay get hurt? I mean 300 lbs??? Only half hurt though just the "top" half... and the cart to haul the "BIG" Twins on... that would hurt, wouldn't it? No Jay, won't get it that his "friend" was not his friend... Great writing and editing. I thought (with Stangs humor it was correct Neighnorhood; Nay nor hood, nor home, nor life in the hood (neighborhood) oh well, at least everyone got a 4Th grade spell'in word. N-e-i-g-h-b-o-r-h-o-o-d. Did everyone get it right? OK you pass! Time for 5th grade!! Harry and anonymous, ... did you pass?

Stangster. Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

(spellchecked) just for you 5TH Graders... Congratulations !!

This story is way below the level of story we are used to from Stangstar. No matter how bad the guy was that screwed your wife, to paralyze him, and put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, is a lot over the top. This guy should be put in jail.

SS06-I am a fan, but this was weak by your standards. Others have said it: cliched, boring, repetitive, almost impossible to believe. Same old, same old too often storyline for you: great, nice guy in love to the max with a woman physically beneath him, obsessed with Mustanges, she inexplicably cheats on him in a terrible way, he finds out, immediately finds another, hotter woman who loves him truly and immediately, and blah, blah, blah. Here, the only interesting derivations were the way it was set up initially, and the fact that he exacted a harsh and methodical revenge. Although it disturbed me, last week's submission was much better. Seems like you had an idea to present the initial set-up, which was cool, and then sort of mailed the rest of the story in.

........need some new ideas for your stories. Frankly this one was about four pages too long and would have been much better with a lot of the repetitive narrative on the cutting room floor. I liked some of the ideas for revenge, but all the BS about how much he loved Iris for her personality got old after a few paragraphs.

I gave you four stars just for old times sake.

well i really liked it allot..

Stangstar06: One story setup that I keep thinking about is "Riley and Wilfred Burton" by Matt Moreau. A married couple work for the same company, and after many years the husband finds out that his wife has been leading a double life as the CEO’s mistress, since before he even joined the company. Even his children turn out to be biologically the CEO’s. This means that most of his adult life has been one big joke (I am reminded of the “happy” memories issue brought up in the “Lazy lemon Sun” by Rehnquist). Yet the rest of the story is one big disappointment as our hero simply accepts everything and moves on. This kind of setup begs revenge commensurate with damage, and I don’t just mean suing in court (although that might be part of the plan) or killing people. A way should be found (not trivial, given the CEOs power and money) to take from the two conspirators, especially the smug CEO, everything they have in a long-term carefully crafted plan. To make this story any good, I expect some planning on the authors part is required.

What do you think?

The turn of phrase you show is masterful. I can't come up with stuff like that.

"And who cares if I didn't know where to put the fucking commas."

(Raises finger, opens mouth...puts it down)

A very enjoyable story with a very good and interesting plot.

Better than five stars .

To top it off, it has a happy ending .

Thanks for the very good read.

Far too many plot holes. Practically everything Harry in VA mentioned is absolutely correct.

I mean even the add-on bits after the typical "cheating wife gets caught" scenario, where he gets rich, well, that whole plot was very weak and lazy... I mean c'mon, the best you could come up with for one of the houses is that it was "accidentally" knocked over?? Jeeze man, at least make an effort.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, at least until you fucking learn something: Edit your stories down to three pages. MAXIMUM. The reader will miss nothing! Quantity does NOT make up for quality. You keep repeating the same old stupid arguments in the tale, over and over again! Take just them out, and you'll drop a couple of pages just there!!!

But you know what? You're clearly not going to learn. You don't want to listen, and actually make your stories readable. So, fuck you. Onto something else.

Storyline was ok, but.... It got repetitive with all the conversations. Instead of all the friendly chats between victims and cheaters there should've been more broken bones and police involved. Face it on a real culdesac in a nice neighborhood there would be bodies on the street with that situation.

the wife is a village bike,

the "friends" are not friends but backstabbers,

and the husband with other wives are criminals who proceed to try to kill, do cripple, do frame someone into jail, and do succeed in destroying homes.

so no one to cheer about here.

but, you're right, Stang-ster: "There goes the neighborhood!" And now there's this flash-y new mall in its place.

Oh - both you AND Miko missed them, but there's at least three places in the story where you got character names wrong. But other than that, the story was a hoot!

...right there at the end...

Jay guns the throttle on his power-chair and rolls back around the trailer to the deck on the other side. As he vanishes around the corner, we hear his voice trailing back...

"And Aubrey was her name...

A not-so-very-ordinary girl or name..."

Read in one sitting. Plan to go back and read more of your work. Throughly enjoyed the plot and the way you developed it. Read for content & flow, not spelling or punctuation so I didn't find any distractions. Thank you and keep them coming.

love your work, revenge could be sweet but not when there is a permant injury,disablity. it was interesting at least you can write a story where so many others are lacking. i still gave it 5 stars. best read this week.. thank you.

Your portrayal of Barry's love for Iris was breathtakingly beautiful. I cried. It was the sweetest thing I've ever read. Thank you for this story, it meant a great deal to read it.

I loved this story so much I registered just so that I could favorite it!

This story is an oasis in a desert of cuckold shit. As always SS06 delivers a worthy tale while all around us is sickening shit. It read like one of my fave stang tales "Curiosity" but a little more earth scorching. Could have done without the douchey neighbor driving a Camaro though. Thanks for a great read (even though it took me two days, fucking employers expecting work out of a guy...sheesh) Looking forward to next Thursday.

Really good cuck/sissy free read! And i don't feel so bad about Promoting the use of nailguns on the balls of homewrecking gigalos anymore :)

long, but very enjoyable story, and let it be a warning to all of the assholes and slots out there(but we still love them in a perverted kind of way-yes??).This is a nice change to all of the typical stories in this category. Thank you.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP I SMOKE FAT COCK PLEASE SOMEONE IN THE NAME OF I TAKE IT IN THE CORNHOLE ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE HELP ME

Nuff said. Good story and I still marvel how you do it every week!

I can see that as usual Stang’s story has generated a lot of comments and a high score.

Why?

I will admit that I enjoyed this story, but it wasn’t new. And not just because it’s a lot of clichés. Its not even much of a stretch for Stang. Every plot element in this story has appeared in at least 3 previous stories he’s written.

The man married to a “fat chick.”. Try Cancer or Quantum Entanglement, Ivy, or even Butt Dial Breakup. Stang has used the unattractive wife before.

The gorgeous woman who helps me through the breakup and ends up with him? That describes almost all of his stories, but has shown up even more recently with stories like Do Unto Others and Business.

And that’s just the first points. The biggest one has to be the behaviors of the “wife”.

I’m trying to think of a Stang story where the wife willingly cheats and isn’t less intelligent than the average rock. The repeated pleas of “it didn’t mean anything.” Go beyond the trite level to annoying rather quickly. And how many times has a caught cheating wife in a Stang story kept on cheating for some reason. Curiousity? Quantum Entanglement? Cancer? Admittedly there are stories like Modern Day Marriage where the wife stops without realizing she’s been caught, but she did only because the husband was changing his patterns and she was worried.

This actually has been a complaint of mine about Stang’s stories for several months. I love his writing. Despite some annoying quirks like using other writers names in his writing or the endless parade of names “borrowed” from comic books and TV shows he’s proved to be an imaginative writer who makes serious attempts and expanding this plots.

But he has two flaws.

One is the fact that his stories are starting to look similar to each other. It’s not quite to the JPB level where only the names are changed, but he’s definitely trending in that direction.

Second is the lack of depth in his characters. In this story Iris and Jay are both limited in their development and personality. Jay is one of the main villains, but other than Aubrey’s tales of him being a controlling playboy who lives beyond his means we never get to know him. His scenes are almost a parody of the “bros before hos” type of conversation you expect in some late night movie. Iris is even less developed as the fat chick cum receptacle who despite having a man who loves her finds a reason for even by her terms meaningless sex with his friends.

Stang, I’d love to see you try to push the boundaries somehow. Perhaps a story where the husband is tempted and pushed to break up, but he and his wife find a way through. You’ve actually had stories like that, but always with the 2nd wife. In Do Unto Others you have the husband’s second wife raped and it actually makes their relationship stronger. How about you start the first marriage that way, and put the husband in the position of being the one pulling away.

I know its hard since there are only so many ways to approach a “loving wife” story, so there isn’t always an easy way to bring something new into it, but I do believe you can expand what you are doing. You have the talent, you just need to take the story to the next level.

Stang has tried to stretch the boundaries in his writing in a couple more recent stories but they suffer heaps of negative comments from simpletons who want JPB style crapola. When he writes formulaic and predictable recycled stories he suffers negative comments from people wanting him to put his obvious talent to better use. Solution?

Write for yourself Stang, you have nothing to prove on Lit. Frankly I sometimes wonder why you write for this site and can only reason that it is because you like to write - so write what you like. I like your stories because they remind me of The Honeymooners, Married With Children, and other ludicrous yet funny glimpses of Americana.

Good story. Nice work! ^__^

The story sets the hook, and doesn't let go, but why do I feel sleazy for liking the protagonist? There is a level of hatred here that is disturbing to read. It's good, but I'm glad I don't know anyone like these characters.

and I confess that I can't wait to read your next story. I do not agree with the ending sometime but so what it is your story! I share my comments so as to both thank you and share my views. This story reflect what I like most about your story -it is human and realistic. Not the plot but the human condition. For example the police is not stupid so any cop worth his badge would question why Wally would burn down his house when others might get hurt. Arson is usually conducted when no one is home to avoid felony murder charges. The police would have checked Deb's card charges for the chemicals and she would have gave up Barry. But the human truth this story displayed was that the heart loves who the heart wants to love regardless of size, shape or other pointless factor. Iris like many did not believe that Barry loved her for being her and there was no need for her to be wanted by others. She was probably cheating on him before they moved to the neighborhood since she had to be wanted by other men and it was just sex. Then you have the pack of dogs behavior of his friends. Overall, a great story - THANKS!

Great piece of work as always, some writers tend to repeat plots and story lines after a while but you always make yours original. Even the ending, they may mainly be about cheating wives whose husbands find someone else but the way it happens is always new. Great work again

Love the originality in your style and the depth of the characters in your story.

I particularly enjoyed your dialogue in this story Mr. Stang Star. Great dialogue always propels a story, increasing the pace and making the reading experience so delectable. As always, I so relish all your wonderful characters. Thank you for creating them for my enjoyment. Loved the Derrick Coleman reference...very clever and so out of the blue. Loved the beginning...great setup. Finally, I think it is so wonderful that you give credit and kudos to the other great writers on this site. It is a touching homage to their efforts and talents. Wickaaar pissa!

A great story as is your usual. I really can't tell you how much I look forward to Thursdays now. Please keep up the good work.

im really digging these feel good stories lol lifts up my spirits

Just too damn good for words -

I loved it - you got 2 perfect assholes in one story and milked them to death - but to go beyond that you found a group of supporting characters that went from a well meaning pair of skanks who had no clue what a marriage is to a pair that never should have met (and rescued Deb from that) just to round out the cast -

Of course a shady lawyer or two and creative license helped -

Wonderful thanks -

but in this case, I just couldn't step away until I ate the WHOLE THING. More please. I know I'm only one of a hundred who've commented; but I had to throw in my "one cent".

Obviously Barry should be in jail for marrying/ loving this mentally handicap brain dead slut..... I will never understand; why would anybody throw away an almost perfect marriage just for a little "fun"?! I'd die before I lose my husband through that type of stupidity..... But Barry should've been smart & wisen up... If she was a cum guzzling dirty slut in college why would she be anything different once she's married ? Iris is such a fucking moron; when she was narrating how the guys used to treat her in college I couldn't help but think that she's either ditzy or mentally handicap.. Why would she give up a man who loved her no matter how fat or slutty she was in school just to go back to the same bs she endured during her coIllege slut fest? It makes no sense.. And just to show how skanky she is, even after getting caught she somehow found herself on her knees sucking jay's dick 2 weeks later... Iris's fuck buddies are also morons! Why did they think an apology would be enough... I have a few best friends, but last year my bestfriends boyfriend tried to sleep with me, I corrected that instantly! I explained to the idiot that it would never happen she's my best friend & I love my husband... Of course I told my husband I no longer felt comfortable being alone with him... I've known those 2 for 7 years & he's never pulled a stunt like that.... I didn't tell my friend because I don't want to be the reason they break up they have 2 kids. & nothing happened... But I don't see him as a friend any longer... If she isn't home I refuse to come over... I would never ever sleep with my friends man that's just wrong & it makes you cheap, untrustworthy, nasty & have no idea what friendship & a relationship is about... This story brought those not so nice memories back, unlike iris I didn't feel sexy or wanted I felt utter disgust... That's why I have no sympathy for iris if she truly loved her husband there's no way she would've been so eager to throw him away.... They all got what they deserve... Christy & her "husband"-- I absolutely agreed with Barry when he said their marriage was more business than a marriage, their marriage is pathetic... I don't agree with swinging personally it's not my cup of tea... I've had threesomes but only with another girl & with my husband.... That is as far as we would go.... I don't get the whole watch your spouse suck & fuck another person thing.... During our threesomes we weren't married & it was his fantasy.... I think this slut did things for her own good ... Anyway 5 stars all the way wish I could give more ..

Obviously Danger should not be on mommy's computer - adolescents should be using the 'net for reports on Bratz, not erotic fiction.

You got a gift and i enjoy all your stories. I especially like how you used the names from the old DC Flash comics...nice touch!

A bunch of damaged characters that act just how you would expect and get caught. Then become victims themselves by the people that are supposedly the good guys who continue the verbal abuse and poke fun at them even though they are beaten down and barely surviving. Pandering to the "kill the bitch" crowd sure has made you popular and earned you high scores but at what cost. The two main characters had no heart and the story was void of any descent humanity.

You have no right to comment on how the BURN THE BITCH people feel.

Unless you have busted your ass for thirty years to give the BITCH everything she ever wanted, ONLY TO HAVE HER OPEN HER LEGS to some horn dog.

BEEN there DONE that.

ED

I loved this story, Everyone in the story got what they deserved except maybe Debbie and that slut of a wife (Kriska ?) who kept hitting on our hero. She, at least was up front with the fact that she and her husband were swingers going in so she wasn't so bad. I loved the fact that Aubrey and Barry got together. I gave you a good rating even though you had Iris call Barry "Jay" on this page. I usually mark down for stuff like that but it was a much too a good story to be picky with. Keep up the good work. I will now look at all your stories except any willing cuckolds or Blacks with whites (can't get over that childhood prejudice although I have tried. I am 74 now, LOL)

I've had to re-read this one a couple times. Still my favorite, though the Christine inspired story is damn good too.

To those that don't like BTB, keep in mind that when someone is hurt as badly as these two were, there's a certain level of mental breaking that occures. Especially if you've never been betrayed by the people who are never supposed to (Loved ones). There's a reason why courts allow temporary insanity as a defense.